New here / scared I have something really bad

[paparymple]

Hello everyone,

I am new to the forum / site, and wanted to introduce myself. I'm a 34 year old man.

I am convinced I have vCJD. I've been having symptoms for a few months now - not sure how long, maybe four months. It is at least two months since I went to my GP, and it had been going on for a while before then. The main symptom I have is that I CONSTANTLY feel unbalanced whenever I am standing up or walking. It's not dizzy exactly - feels like I am swaying if still, and as if I am kind of stumbling when walking (though I don't think it is noticeable to others).

I know how unlikely it is, but not impossible...

GP has done blood tests - all fine. Referred to neurologist - neuro exam all normal, he said he really didn't think it was anything. Has ordered an MRI 'to reassure me' (he says - he did ask me what might reassure me, and I said a scan might). Problem is, vCJD probably wouldn't show up on a scan.

As you can probably tell, I've been Googling, which definitely makes it worse.

I also have depersonalization feelings - I have suffered with anxiety/depression in the past, and I recognise these.

The other major symptom I have is my handwriting - it is deteriorating, I believe - feels very uncomfortable and out of my control.

I have leg twitches and aching leg muscles. All are symptoms of vCJD. Today I had cold feelings in my legs, another typical symptom.

I am so terrified of leaving my family in such an awful way.

Could these symptoms be anxiety? I do believe I am sufering with anxiety - but I believe I am anxious BECAUSE of the symptoms, not the other way round.

Have had some diazepam, which helped a bit - but sometimes made me worse.

My other theories are: could it be my new inhalers (for asthma)? Serevent and Flixotide - I definitely think they made it even worse anyway.

I had the swine flu jab around the time this started - could it have caused peripheral nerve damage? Or triggered MS?

It sounds crazy, I know - but I am convinced I am dying.

[diane07]

Hi paparymple

A huge warm welcome to nmp.

You'll get loads of advice and support here and make some lovely friends along the way.

Best wishes

[Vanilla Sky]

Hi and wecome to NMP :welcome: Paige x

[andrea thompson]

hiya
i know its really hard but try not to worry... the symptoms you are describing sound exactly like mine... its sounds like anxiety. i have been on and off with anxiety for 11 years and just when you think you have mastered techniques to control your symptoms another one jumps on you out of the blue.. i am telling you this and its re assuring me at the same time... i worry about 80% of the time about my health... constantly think i have a heart condition or going to have a stroke... i think everyone has these concerns but because i am anxious i dwell on these negetive thoughts.. do you think it could be the same for you?

read the symptoms listed on here... i find it really helps to reassure me that this is anxiety..

take care

andrea x x

take care

[EleC]

Hello, Just thought I would add to Andrea's comments, I get a lot of those feelings aswell, from anxeity, it is amazing how unwell anxeity and panic can make you feel, like you are going to pass out, have a heart attack, cannot breathe, not sure who you are, unable to concentrate, feel like you are loosing yourself.
My family always say to me, after I have had a bad bout of anxiety / panic / depression, that when I start to feel a bit better, it is like they have me back after loosing me for a while.
Keep strong and stop googling! (I have banned myself from looking things up!)
take care :-) xx

[speeder]

Hi Paparymple

You sound very stressed - big hug.

I too am very worried about vCJD but for different reasons (have had blood transfusions, tonils out, ate lots of rubbish meat when I was younger).

I don't actually have any symptoms (yet!!)

However everything you've described can fit with anxiety. I have had anxiety for years and when I first got it, about when vCJD was first in the media, I felt extremely weird (bad depersonalisation, anxiety, just felt so strange and depressed). I was CONVINCED it was vCJD although as I was so young I didn't mention to any doctors. Anyway, it clearly wasn't as I'm still here!

So although you are probably convinced you have it - you almost certainly don't and are suffering horrible anxiety instead.

For what it's worth, I understand the first symtoms of vCJD are psychiatric and the muscle issues come later and also, it progresses very quickly so you would have deteriorated faster by now anyway?

hope this helps x

[sarahdd]

i know exactly what you mean, symtom first then panic!! i get panicked cause i have a little spasm in my tongue or a little twitch in my face and then thats when my heart pounds and my throat goes dry and feels like its closing. CJD has flashed across my brain too and ive googled it too and the detorrioration is quite and you become no longer lucid- meaning by the time you get it, you wont know youve got it (does that make sense??) you couldnt sit there and think ive got cjd!!!
ive got food allergies and sometimes find it difficult to tell the difference between panic attack and food reaction, so i look at the clock and give myself 30mins..... i think is it getting worse, can i still breath? once this time passes and 99% of the time its a panic attack and it slowly passes and i know im safe. you could do the same with CJD symptoms, find out what the time scale is from onset of symptoms to the end if youve been having symptoms for 6mths and the time scale is 3months then you know its not CJD nd you could start to rationalise it, good luck