No longer know what love is

[phil06]

I can't believe I'm saying it but I have gave up on it. Almost three years single and only one week relationships in that time..only one date in 6 months or more and it gets harder and harder. I don't know me anymore. Recently this year I've had my eye on three nice woman and all have cancelled on me or it's fallen through. Only had offers from less attractive people which I'm too shallow and picky to take..and had spells where I can't even get that.

It really is hopeless. I use to have a romantic steak in me but it feel it's lost..I chat woman up now expecting nothing with a numb feeling, hopelessness. I feel I duno what I want, where I wanna go, some nights I feel I do have an idea some I don't.

I'm that use to being myself I've ran out of petty excuses, given up on fate or any hope. I question my own personality, my looks, what I'm doing wrong. Do I even care? Some might say I'm only 21 but feel as battered and beaten as somebody whos a 40 year old virgin.

I'm a sad case for feeling this, maybe I brought it on myself..had two serious g.fs in the past but wow that seems a light year away, another life as I'm so use to being myself. I feel I'm just getting on with life..I just don't know how I feel baffled in a burden of OCD too which never helps my feelings. I want a nice g.f but have no direction on how...just can't see it. Feelings: Very Anger, disappointment, lack of confidence, no sense of direction, blame.

Not too sure anybody can even help..i've no self confidence and lost myself. :lac:

[BabyRachel]

Hun your not alone... I have been single for 4 years, only been on ONE date and Im an attractive 20 year old... Don't give up... We are still so young. Its hard to meet the right people, but I have faith one day it will happen. Don't give up and reside yourself to a life of loneliness.

I also think you should work on being more open minded... I believe love is waaay more about whats inside than on the outside. Even if you don't iniitially feel attracted to a woman, could it really hurt to go on a few dates with her and get back into the swing? You could just make a new friend which would open you up to loads more people.

Your not alone... xx

[lior]

I wanna know what love is... I want you to show meeeee!

That song proves that you're certainly not alone! It's a very common feeling. I haven't a clue what love is. But some people can reawaken that romantic spirit in you. I was so wrapped up in my own world and then I met someone and he made me want to write songs and make elaborate romantic gestures.

You've just got to find the right person for you. Don't approach them like a predator, just be friendly, and that's the way to meet new people that you'll get on with. Smoking areas are ideal for striking up conversations even if you don't smoke.

Best of luck!

[skylar]

I know how you feel. I feel sort of like somewhere along the road I changed and this anxiety makes me feel even less like myself. I had a boyfriend for two years and he broke up with me suddenly saying that he loved me and wanted to get back together at some point... soon enough he had a new girlfriend. It sort of made me question myself like who am I and what was this if it wasn't love ? I don't know what it means anymore and I have also lost interest. There are plenty of interested guys but I don't even give them the time of day like I'm just wandering around hopeless waiting for someone to pop in out of nowhere and snap me out of it. Its ashame because everytime I feel the smallest amount of feelings for someone it's never real and I just get hurt by it. I feel like I probably went off your topic but I was just sitting here thinking about how my heart hurts and I saw your post about not knowing what love is and giving up on it. I desperately want to be in love but at the same time I can't open up to it. Sorry for rambling on.

[phil06]

THATS IT!!

I am going to hide my dating site profile or delete it toally I give up!!

I have just wasted another 4 days getting lots of convo from somebody all to hear she has another date and I'm just a friend...5 times I've heard this in the last few months.. :weep:

Love..it's non existent and woman just treat me like dirt. I feel so upset right now just want a relationship but I think I'm getting somewhere as these woman I get to like..and it's not many I like as much..when you talk alot you form a bond but for them seems it's just random convo.

I'll have to look for other positives in life, it hurts me not to look but it HURTS more to look and be hurt and treated like this...:lac::blush:Why me?

[eeyorelover]

It's not just you.
Sometimes it just doesn't work out but that doesn't mean that you give up on love.
The expression, 'You have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince', comes to mind altho that expression is from the female perspective, the premise is the same across both genders :)

Maybe you are looking in the wrong place. Dating sites are fine but maybe you should broaden your search a little.
;)
xxx
Sandy

[Horse]

As a 55 year old man who lost one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen 10 years ago, thanks to my anxiety symptoms and her lack of understanding of the illness, I can safely say that the biggest enemy we face when alone is ourselves!

Needless to say our confidence and self esteem becomes non existant. We feel sorry for ourselves and look in the mirror and see an unattractive person (at least I do)! One thing to bare in mind is the members of the opposite will pick up on this! In other words, our negativity becomes quite apparent when we talk to them. Sometimes we don't even have to be aquainted with them, our body languange says it all! We might as well have a 'Keep away' sign on our forehead. On top of this, we also fear rejection!

For me it's too late. I shall never recover. But for you it's easy when you think about it! All you need to do is to love yourself, trust in yourself, believe in yourself. Everyone on this earth has as much right to be here as the next person. There will always be somebody we wish we could be like, a celebrity, or someone we know and admire. But the fact is, we are not them, we are who we are, unique!

Obviously, there will be days when we are down. So let them go. Wait for the days when we feel that nothing is going to stop us. The important thing is to be ourselves. Don't pretent to be someone else.

Basically what I'm saying is...........Wake up.......Get up.......... Get out there.........Stop feeling sorry for yourself...........Forget the past, it's gone.........and.........KICK SOME ARSE!!!!!!

(Not literally of course).

God bless you and good luck!

Horse,

[lior]

Dating sites are really hit and miss. Don't give up because of one silly girl. You have to wade through a lot of crap until you find someone good - that's true in the real world too, but at least online it's quicker and you're less likely to get too attached too soon!
Good luck!

[tobiasclairty]

just to throw a bit of confidence up here (although i still suffer with GAD but it is unrelated to this) i met my other half on a dating site, we are now to be married after i proposed to her in the summer and we also have just found out we have a Son on the way, i am 24 and never expected things to work out the way the have, this honestly came about purely by fate and i truely believe that, you will find someone but when the time is right man, stay strong honestly you will find the love of your life (even if she is a pain in the backside sometimes :D) you just gotta start looking and not being too keen

[Desprate Dan]

Join the club, the problem i have is that i am so frightened to get involved because i cant take being hurt anymore, i feel i have so much love to give inside, i want someone to love and to love me back for who i am, But i hide myself away to affraid that someone will hurt me again, so i just go through life lonely now although it hurts like hell inside, the few girls i have had relationships in the past have ended the relationship saying things like or your to nice i see you more like a brother than a lover, one even had an affair which i new about, but because i was in love i was frightened to leave her, she said that she didnt tell me about the affair because she cared for me and was worried how i would take it...Doesnt sound like caring to me.

I really am unhappy and would love someone to share life with, but i dont think it will ever happen for me, i just feel i dont belong in this world, i dont fit in..

Dan