lior
02-03-10, 17:59
Hey guys
Just feel really slow and sad... I've got another thread going about some guy I like who just doesn't care for me.
Drank wine last night and I suspect it stopped the citalopram working today.
Headachy and tired. Need to do more stuff tonight but I just want to stay in bed. I don't want to work any more. Two people said I'm a 'graphter' which apparently means a hard worker if you're from the Midlands. They all think I work hard. I suppose I do but I can only do so much. I have to go home every weekend to my family in London, which is basically a four hour journey. I see my therapist at 8am on Mondays so I have to get up before dawn. Then I rush to catch a train from Kings Cross. It's a hard start to the week.
I can't cope with it all. There's too much work to be doing. It's physical as well as mental - I'm in the process of sanding down wood to smoothness and getting it spray painted, which is a lengthy process, and will probably take me too long. I don't see how I can make the deadline - it might not be physically possible.
Enough of the story - I'm writing because I feel so so down right now, it feels like the old days. I just continually berate myself and I can't find solutions.
My lecturer said it's just a blip but these blips are so long. Or maybe it's just one long long blip in the course of my life. No. It's not a blip. I've been going steadily downhill since I was fifteen. I think I've passed the lowest point but it's still so hard.
Just feel really slow and sad... I've got another thread going about some guy I like who just doesn't care for me.
Drank wine last night and I suspect it stopped the citalopram working today.
Headachy and tired. Need to do more stuff tonight but I just want to stay in bed. I don't want to work any more. Two people said I'm a 'graphter' which apparently means a hard worker if you're from the Midlands. They all think I work hard. I suppose I do but I can only do so much. I have to go home every weekend to my family in London, which is basically a four hour journey. I see my therapist at 8am on Mondays so I have to get up before dawn. Then I rush to catch a train from Kings Cross. It's a hard start to the week.
I can't cope with it all. There's too much work to be doing. It's physical as well as mental - I'm in the process of sanding down wood to smoothness and getting it spray painted, which is a lengthy process, and will probably take me too long. I don't see how I can make the deadline - it might not be physically possible.
Enough of the story - I'm writing because I feel so so down right now, it feels like the old days. I just continually berate myself and I can't find solutions.
My lecturer said it's just a blip but these blips are so long. Or maybe it's just one long long blip in the course of my life. No. It's not a blip. I've been going steadily downhill since I was fifteen. I think I've passed the lowest point but it's still so hard.