Migrating fears and worries

[Jimpy]

Hi everyone,
sorry for a bit of a downer thread, will try and keep it balanced
Had a bit of a dip in my feelings over the last few weeks, if I being
honest it has been one of the lowest points I have experienced on this anxiety path. For a bit of context, my first big taste of anxiety came at the beggining of November last year, it came in the form of a big panic attack ( at the time I never knew what was going on) which ended up with me in an ambulance and wired up to the EKG monitor, the panic was coming in waves and that was the pattern for the next few days and nights. I was off sick until the middle of January and had to leave my old place of work ( my choice I was very lucky they where very supportive) through my time off I developed heart related HA due to the anxiety and skipped beats I was having ( or prob just started noticing!)

Anyway to cut the story went to see a cardiologist who said I was fine, by this point I was back in a new role and really was taking each hour as it came, but was piecing it toghether if you know what I mean? Overall I was doing stuff that only weeks earlier was almost impossible, for example I was feeling more like my old self and could attend some social gatherings, panic was almost gone the only flare up I had was watching Avatar on the big screen which set me off on a panic but even that did not knock me back too much as I appreciated it was maybe a step to far at that point.

But the last couple of weeks have been terrible again, I noticed that I had one pupil bigger than the other and I knew this to be something that alot of people had and it was no problem at all. Except my mind started to obsess BIGTIME I was on every site and like usual it did not make good reading, the reason it did not make good reading was I was only taking in the serious symptoms parts and not the other bits that say 20% of the population have this and it is fine. So in my obsessive and filtered viewpoint I was going to collapse any day, I am still living like this now and in true form have started to get headaches which freak me out even though I know I am not wearing my glasses. This is to me really knocking me back first because I was getting or at least thought I was getting a grip on things. Secondly it is horrible because I am living in fear again and thirdly because in my own way I know what I am doing wrong but don't seem to have the strength to right my attitude.

Does anyone else have this migrating HA? and I suppose if I am being honest I would just like to say I am really tired and feel kind of weakend in my spirit at what seems to be an endless
battle, does anyone else feel the same?? How do we keep going??

Thanks for reading everyone and as always any comments are greatly appreciated,

Jim

ps - sorry for any spelling mistakes I am writing this on my phone and the predictive text often gets it wrong ( as do I lol)

[ItWillPass]

Wow. I feel like I could have written this myself. I totally know what you mean. Since I have been dealing with anxiety I have had fears about the most randon diseases, things that have nothing to do with eachother. How many people have had a brain tumor AND a heart attack within months of eachother?? Its really not normal. Then I became scared of MS... the list really goes on and on. Health anxiety is difficult because often we will do well... until something else happens with our bodies. Basically I never seem to feel well, and instead of just accepting thats me, I try to figure out a reason, which is never pleasant. I think its important for us to remember that often benign things happen to us, and there is absolutely no reason. Anyway, thanks for sharing.

[RosieXXX]

Hello Jim,

Unfortunately it is usual for health anixety sufferers to lurch from one crisis to another - it seems we are in a constant state of high alert, and it doesn't take much to trigger the irrational thought process, and it does turn into a constant battle, which makes you feel very weary. It is a horrible condition, and difficult to bring under control, but it is possible. I think it would be worthwhile talking to your doctor and explain exactly how you are feeling; hopefully he will be understanding and will arrange for you to have some counselling, which can be extremely helpful. There are certain things which definitely feed the fear, and one of them is googling, I know it is difficult to stay away from it, because somehow we think it will bring reassurance, but believe me it never does because we are unable to view it with detachment, it always ends up in disaster.

I am sure all health anxiety sufferers can relate to the way you are feeling, so you are not alone, and I do hope you will be able to find some good advice and support, which will offer a little comfort.

[Jimpy]

Thanks alot for your replies.
All through this anxiety I have always held on to the belief that one day I would be ok. I still am holding onto that but it really is a soul shaking thought to think that HA will be hanging round and moving to other parts of my body. Google really is the enemy sometimes!!

There must be a way to be cured of this, when you break it down it is just corrupt thoughts which lead to the fear, so easy to say eh! But hard to find the strength sometimes. It is so difficult somedays, every day in this new job is a challenge in it's own right, I really appreciate that I am not the only one going through this and I have a new found respect for the quiet moments in life where you are relaxed and don't have a care :)

Jim