new here and anxious

[maz1967]

hi all
Am feeling anxious just typing this, i have been fighting anxiety and depression for about a year now, and have not admitted it to anyone untill now, my husband and family dont see anything wrong, but i feel like im dieing, on the good days i just feel down on the bad days i trully feel like im going to die... sorry i'm crying now, i just want to be able to get a grip and be the person i was 12 months ago, is that too much to ask:weep:

[diane07]

Hi maz1967

A huge warm welcome to nmp.

You'll get loads of advice and support here and make some lovely friends along the way.

Best wishes

[bottleblond]

Hi Maz

Welcome to NMP :flowers:

Have you spoken to your GP about how you are feeling? If not then it may be worth while doing so.

You will get lots of advice and support here too.

Lisa
x

[maz1967]

to be honest i could not even admit it to myself let alone a gp. but the other problem is my job, I'm a paramedic and know and see all the local gps on a regular basis and if i go to my gp and tell him i suffer from anxiety and depression then how is he going to respect me profesionally

[sugarpuff]

Hi Maz
im new here to, like you suffer from anxiety and depression,with a phobia chucked in as well so i know how you feel, im so glad i found this site it has lots of information & advice to help us cope, im currently having a re lapse
i think you have already taken a postive step just by posting in the forum

xxsugarpuff

[oldgraymare]

maz i dont think how your colleague will view you is a matter of importance right now. thats just another aspect of anxiety and depression making you feel insecure and ashamed of something you shouldnt be. being someone in the medical field, im sure you know the best thing you can do for yourself is to talk to a doctor, make sure it isnt something physical first of all, and if it isnt or especially if you already know what the cause of your issues are, then you need to do everything you can to seek out some professional help. no one deserves to be miserable. you deserve to be well again. and it can happen, you just have to put in the effort

[kiansummer]

I really feel for you, and know what you are going through you will feel so much better talking to people on this site knowing i can come on this site after a hard day makes me feel better we will all get through it together xx

[maz1967]

you dont understand i'm the one who helps other people in emergances, i'm the one who talks down people with pannic attacks i'm the one who listens to DSH'ers or talkes people of ther ledge... this isn't fair.. its not right why is this happening to me i'm a good person i help people I DONT WANT THIS ist not fair

[kiansummer]

I work in nursing helping people with all sorts of illnesses im also a good person never done anything wrong, and trust me none of us want this but hopefully it will make us all stronger, are you on medication? x

[maz1967]

am on amitriptyline 25mg nightly, for headaches and neck tension, codine and tramadol when required for pain

[sugarpuff]

Hi Maz
if you dont feel you can talk to a GP right now, speak to a counsellor going private you will have to pay, but its confidential. I find counselling a massive help.
we are all only human and with the busy modern lives and stressful jobs, most people have suffered with some form of anxiety and or depression at some point even GP's

[kiansummer]

I would really encourage you to go to the doctors or even a different doctors if you dont want anyone to know and you will know being in that field of work everything is confidential, ive been on diazepam 5mg for 2 weeks and im on day 5 of citolapram x