not sure how to deal with this

[moomintroll]

some of you may know from my chats in the chat room that my boyfriend decided to jump off a railing he had climbed and fell 20 foot, he said it was a joke gone wrong but its being classed as an attempted suicide and he has mentioned harming himself before to me, so i think it was an attempted suicide aswell

i suffer from anxiety quite badly anyway, i was with him when it happened, so had to deal with the police, fire and ambulance when it all turned up to sort it all out, i had to give statements etc, then go to the hospital with him etc

he is alive and well, he never even broke anything, just bruises, the fact he was drunk saved him

i am not sure how to deal with it, i feel numb and i know it has not hit me fully yet what has happened, i cannot get the images out of my head of him lying there at the bottom of the hole or what he was saying to me before he did it or the fact i had to give statements about what happened etc, i am just worried that when it hits me its going to hit me hard

my doctor signed me off for a couple of days after it happened as she felt it was safer for me

i do not know what to do or how to act just now and that is making me feel anxious:shrug:

[ally b]

:bighug:omg,you are so brave.I know for sure i couldnt cope.Just take it one step at a time.My thoughts are wiv ya. xxx

[unspoken]

Wow that sounds tough to deal with. My boyfriend (of 5 months) has made a couple of attempts at suicide, the most recent shortly before I met him (through a counselling group) in September 2008. It plays on my mind, the thought that he might have gone through with the jump and then I'd never have met him, and all he'd be is memories for his family and friends. And of course I worry that he might do it again, even though I have been depressed enough lately to contemplate suicide, but I know that I couldn't do it.

Men are more likely to make violent suicide attempts and also less likely to talk about their feelings because it's not seen as an acceptable thing for a man to talk about their emotions. It must have been particularly traumatic for you, being there and having to deal with it. What kind of help is he getting? While you are his girlfriend, you shouldn't feel solely responsible for his welfare and for helping him. He needs a network of support, of family/friends he really trusts, his doctor, counselling, psychiatry etc. You also need support. Don't forget about yourself and your own needs. Do you think you could benefit from counselling? There are helplines you can call too. You both need someone who isn't emotionally linked to the situation to talk to about your feelings and fears.

This site http://www.thecalmzone.net/ has a part-time phone line and specifically targets men and encourages them to talk about their feelings and problems. He may find it helpful, or you may find it helpful to talk to them about how to cope with your situation. You must be feeling a huge burden as well as shock and worry, it is a lot to cope with, and you don't need to do it alone.

[moomintroll]

thank you guys, it all kind of really hit me today, i got to work and i broke down, so i went home, i will have a look at that site too