Gina
09-01-06, 13:58
Hi All
Well where do I start?
Up until Christmas day (just gone) I had never experienced a panic attack.... since then have had 4 more.. and ongoing anxiety...
I have always been a slightly anxious person..
Been through a fair bit of adversity such as childhood abuse, DV, loosing a baby far into pregnancy.. husband running off with someone else when he got her pregnant.. (tut at him for being a plonker..!) loosing mum 18 years ago to cancer... all my aunties dying of breast cancer... finding a lump myself in 1996, having lumpectomy, chemo and radiotherapy followed by 4 years of tamoxifen...
Moved back home to plymouth from the north of the country 6 years ago to be near sisters.. worked in a hostel as dep manager and saw lots of bad practise in sept 03 .. informed nec dept and at same time discovered on routine mammogram that i had breast cancer again... had to have mastectomy...
Few months later discovered i had a BACRA II gene which gave me 50/50 marker of getting breast cancer.. ( genetics is sooooooo interesting!!)
Was bullied and intimadated on my return to work by manager and his staff team... moved to supporting homeless families which i love with a passion tho hate the pressure and paperwork involved.. have a manger now who is not supportive tho he thinks he is [Duh!]
Leading up to Christmas I had organised presents for all the children who were in a homeless situation and admit to letting the paperwork slide [V] so got stressy about that... Christmas eve.. i went to see my gran who is my only older relative who is still alive.. she has alzheimers (bless her) and is stuck back in a time when mum was still alive and i was married... or she will think i am my mum... so either time of seeing her is difficult...
Me being me..... [Sigh...] of course tried to fit everything in... going to see gran.. then driving up to swindon to spend the festive period with my sister and her family... as well as the sister and her husband and their two children who are living with me whilst they have a house built ( have been with me for 15 months now and will be with me for a further two months)
the sister in swindon and i love each other with a passion however have only got to be in each others company for a hour and we are both tense[V]
I woke up on Christmas day with the most horrendous headache... threw up.. palpitations, shaking, shivers, needing to go to the toilet. my left arm was numb... I went and woke my sis and insisted they take me to the hosp... ( my mum had had a brain tumour at 28) At the hosp ( who were brilliant) they gave me an ecg, brain scan and lumbar punch to rule out the serious diagnosis... I had that spray under your tongue which didnt touch me [:O]
Since then I have had four more attacks.. on two seperate days.. both of the first ones at 3am in the morning followed by another one a few hours later...
My sis who lives with me used to have them 10 years ago and doesnt anymore (touch wood she never does again) so has been a great support...
I also have had a virus and had to have a tooth extraction ( had had 3 courses of antiboitics leading up to xmas for the abcess that i had had [Ugh] )
I am off work at the moment for the next day or so due to my virus.. ( tho we all know that really its bigger than that!!! )
I now constantly have a quiver all the time.. pain in my ears. palpatations.. sore eyes.. nausea.. etc... but some of that could be the virus!
Anyway I have been saying since the day I joined which was the 1/1/06 that i would do an introduction and here it is!!!
I seem to have graduated to the chat room... in the evening with tales of my days :)
Gina x
Autobiography in Five Short Chapters
by Portia Nelson
I. I walk down the street.
There's a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost.....I am helpless;
it isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
II. I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same p
Well where do I start?
Up until Christmas day (just gone) I had never experienced a panic attack.... since then have had 4 more.. and ongoing anxiety...
I have always been a slightly anxious person..
Been through a fair bit of adversity such as childhood abuse, DV, loosing a baby far into pregnancy.. husband running off with someone else when he got her pregnant.. (tut at him for being a plonker..!) loosing mum 18 years ago to cancer... all my aunties dying of breast cancer... finding a lump myself in 1996, having lumpectomy, chemo and radiotherapy followed by 4 years of tamoxifen...
Moved back home to plymouth from the north of the country 6 years ago to be near sisters.. worked in a hostel as dep manager and saw lots of bad practise in sept 03 .. informed nec dept and at same time discovered on routine mammogram that i had breast cancer again... had to have mastectomy...
Few months later discovered i had a BACRA II gene which gave me 50/50 marker of getting breast cancer.. ( genetics is sooooooo interesting!!)
Was bullied and intimadated on my return to work by manager and his staff team... moved to supporting homeless families which i love with a passion tho hate the pressure and paperwork involved.. have a manger now who is not supportive tho he thinks he is [Duh!]
Leading up to Christmas I had organised presents for all the children who were in a homeless situation and admit to letting the paperwork slide [V] so got stressy about that... Christmas eve.. i went to see my gran who is my only older relative who is still alive.. she has alzheimers (bless her) and is stuck back in a time when mum was still alive and i was married... or she will think i am my mum... so either time of seeing her is difficult...
Me being me..... [Sigh...] of course tried to fit everything in... going to see gran.. then driving up to swindon to spend the festive period with my sister and her family... as well as the sister and her husband and their two children who are living with me whilst they have a house built ( have been with me for 15 months now and will be with me for a further two months)
the sister in swindon and i love each other with a passion however have only got to be in each others company for a hour and we are both tense[V]
I woke up on Christmas day with the most horrendous headache... threw up.. palpitations, shaking, shivers, needing to go to the toilet. my left arm was numb... I went and woke my sis and insisted they take me to the hosp... ( my mum had had a brain tumour at 28) At the hosp ( who were brilliant) they gave me an ecg, brain scan and lumbar punch to rule out the serious diagnosis... I had that spray under your tongue which didnt touch me [:O]
Since then I have had four more attacks.. on two seperate days.. both of the first ones at 3am in the morning followed by another one a few hours later...
My sis who lives with me used to have them 10 years ago and doesnt anymore (touch wood she never does again) so has been a great support...
I also have had a virus and had to have a tooth extraction ( had had 3 courses of antiboitics leading up to xmas for the abcess that i had had [Ugh] )
I am off work at the moment for the next day or so due to my virus.. ( tho we all know that really its bigger than that!!! )
I now constantly have a quiver all the time.. pain in my ears. palpatations.. sore eyes.. nausea.. etc... but some of that could be the virus!
Anyway I have been saying since the day I joined which was the 1/1/06 that i would do an introduction and here it is!!!
I seem to have graduated to the chat room... in the evening with tales of my days :)
Gina x
Autobiography in Five Short Chapters
by Portia Nelson
I. I walk down the street.
There's a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost.....I am helpless;
it isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
II. I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same p