Does life scare you?

[Granny Primark]

Its the anniversary of my mums death on the 15th of this month.
Never a day goes by without me thinking of her. She was me bestest mate ever.
She died what i consider to be young.
A heart attack took her away from us when she was in her prime and shed got loads of plans for her future and really enjoying life.
Ive got 3 beautiful grandaughters and a brill hubby.
Weve had probs like most people do, but my 3 little girls are my life. Im truly enjoying the time I spend with them but feel frightened il die the same as me mum did.I dont want to live my life in fear I want to enjoy everyday.
Is it cus im no longer working and have too much time to think? Or is the anxiety thats making me think in this negative way.
I just wish i was the person I used to be 4 years ago before the panic attacks started.
Death has always scared me. I love life and having fun so much but this fear is becoming worse as I get older.
Ive just realised ive headed this "does life scare you".
Yet really it should read "does death scare you".
If the truth is known im sure it scares everyone.

[onceagain]

hugs Lynn

Yes I am scared of death..yet strangely sometimes I wish for it...

Think we realise when we suddenly lose someone special or have someone special that we are not invincible..

I used to say to my kids a fleet of lorries wouldn't take me away.. now they just worry if I'll take myself..yet I'm scared of the dark...scared of not seeing those I love again ..but sometimes still see death as that final peace..so don't worry girlie your thoughts are normal ..its mine that aren't ...

Just remember to look after yourself and tell those girls just how very much you love them ..though i'm sure you do ... tons already.. that is what matters what memories are given ...

You have got years in you yet...you are too cheeky to go ...you have to behave first lol x

[Jaco45er]

To be honest GP my friend, it's one of those things I try not to think about.

My thoughts just spiral towards why are we here, what happens after?

I am not religious or spiritual, but I do wonder if this is it, then why are we actually here?

It's either a deep entity that we are, that is portrayed as we are now, then something else after death, or we really are just flesh and bones and molecules that will cease to exist after we pass away.

And if it is the latter? then someone explain ghosts.

Sorry about your loss Lynn, but if it is the latter, I am sure she looks down on you with a smile.


Take Care

Jaco

[crissy]

Dearest Granny,

Everyday I think the same thought, I want to live before I die and yet I just don't seem to have done it !!!!!!! yet what is it !!!!!!!!! We get up (Thankfully) everyday and do what we always do, should we be doing something else, so we are fulfilling our full potential, or should we THINK differently, the worries wear us down so we think the wrong thoughts.
Why don't we truly do what would make us feel and act better by giving our time and love more openly, as we look around everyone,who too are going to die one day,are also doing there best maybe they don't think as deeply as us, but with our knowledge we should no better.
They have never been were we have and don't understand how it is to feel just ok without taking it for granted.
We should caress the good times and make them last longer we can and should do what we can whilst we are here, we are not bad people just hard to understand.


May your life be brighter with each passing hour.

My love to you
Crissy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Maj]

Hello Lynne,
I can understand exactly what you mean. I think it's also something that comes with age. I have three sons and have thought now and again recently that I don't want to die and leave them behind. I feel that I want to be here just incase they need me for something!! Stupid, I know. I've also had a feeling that time is running out - but I think that's maybe a mid-life crisis! I often think that it's difficult to imagine not being here, not visiting certain places, not doing certain things. Does it not just show us that deep down we really love life, even although we feel anxious at times? I feel for you about missing your mum. My mum is also my best friend and I can't bear the thought of losing her. So my heart goes out to you and yes, death does scare everyone I think.
Myra:hugs:

[smudger]

Hi. I like this. Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. I adore my Mum too. She is elderly and so sweet and loving and I can't imagine life without her. So, I understand your pain. As regards my death, I think about my daughter pining for me. Unbearable. But I wouldn't want her to, I would want her to remember me and the fab things we did together, the special hugs, the little looks, not to cry every time she thinks of me because she misses me. With that in mind I am going to try and make those special memories for her so that one day when we are together again we reminisce about these times. I'm not particularly religious but I like to think that we will be together again. I think its natural to worry about dying. I am 41 and I think about my baby (she is 9) being on her own and I cry. She think I will live forever, that she is going to live with mummy n daddy forever, oh how children simplify everything! Who says how long we have on the earth? The best we can do is live, love and laugh together. We can't change what is inevitable, make the best of what we have right here, right now!xx:)

[eeyorelover]

Having severe healthy anxiety a long while ago I swore I was dying of every disease known to man (and some that hadn't even been discovered yet) so I think I worked it out in my head that I wouldn't make it to a ripe old age anyway. Now that my HA is better and I'm alive to see Grandbabies and my kids grown up, I'm not afraid of death. I've been blessed with more time than I thought even now so I'm content with the life I've led.
Wish I would have been able to make hay with George Clooney but maybe in the next life :)
Seriously tho this life is fleeting! The day we are born our bodies start to decay and obviously no one can live forever so I make each day count the best I can and let the rest of the world worry about itself.
I've had loads of fun, tons of sex, seen jail from the inside, been in love and loved by another, had 4 beautiful children and 2 grandchildren, it's all been a blast!
I'm pretty thankful!
:)

[NoPoet]

My thoughts just spiral towards why are we here
I can understand why you think that.

I guess these thoughts are natural to people who've had the rug pulled out from under them. Death, illness, this is stuff that is way too big for us to deal with, there are no guidelines, and of course death is something that only happens once unless you're the leader of Torchwood.

I guess the only answer is to carry on living your life: accept that there is life before death.

[eeyorelover]

I think that most people ask themselves what the purpose of existence truly is. Why are we here? Is there life after this? All philosophical in nature and since people with anxiety are generally intelligent and inquisitive at some point in life we ask ourselves these questions.

[leo05]

big hugs lynn and i understand how ya feeling bout losin ya mam i lost mine on 16th march and today is her bday

big hugs here for you xxxxxx

[jude uk]

The fact is we all die so its part of life, just as waking and sleeping are. We all want to hold on to life as much as possible, to be there with our loved ones and to share time with them. Both my parents are dead and so is my youngest brother. Yeah I miss them but life goes on and I know when I die life will go on for my son and for those I love.

I myself have a faith in the after life.

Sometimes I think we are searching for something and until we find it we will always have this fear.
I suppose the older we get the more the fear is with us but I think we owe it to ourselves to find an answer. Be that we accept there is nothing or there is something

[ladybird64]

The act of dying doesn't scare me at all, I have had a few instances of being very close to death because of illness and have no fear about it.

My fear is of life, or rather of people. The world can be a very cruel place and I worry for my special needs daughter and how society will treat her when I'm gone.

I don't wonder why Im here although I do often think about the way my life has turned out, I try to be accepting of who I am otherwise I would drive myself mad.

Im not sure about an afterlife but I do hope that death isn't the final chapter. My own mother (I was raised by grandparents) died when she was 29 yrs old. My grandparents had her headstone engraved with the words "our daughter who went to sleep on.."

I kind of like that. Not final, just resting. :)

[magpie girl]

Hi lyn i like ladybird i was raised by my grandparents as my mum died when she was only 32yrs old.From the age of 3 i have been surrounded by death in one way or another.so you would think now aged 39 i would accept that death happens to us all.Well i dont want to die not now not till im 90 years old,and too batty to care.

[NoPoet]

A friend of mine has been to a spiritualist a few times after the death of her sister. My friend believes in that stuff as she says the medium gave them very convincing information. I'd like to try it one day but I won't do it until I am better. The last thing I need is problems from the next world, I've got enough on in this one.

In my work with churches over the last couple of years I have come to find graveyards and mausoleums to be beautiful, peaceful places, some of the few spaces on earth that are still sacred in these selfish times.

Leo05, I'm sorry for your loss :hugs:

[Typer]

My Mum died aged 48. No age at all. When I was 48 I was convinced I would die - but now I am 59.

I did worry for a while about everyone and what would happen if I died. Then I kind of got to thinking that there is no running away from my eventual end...its like being chased by something when you are scared of it. But now, I walk with it and realize that yes I will die, and eventually my kids will too and everyone I know.

I got to thinking more philosophically about life and death and that in between part. I realized that if I were not here, everyone would manage, the way I have and they way everyone has to. People would get over it and get on with life. That made me feel a lot better.

I wish I loved life as much as you do. As you do love it, grasp it and enjoy each moment - we are only alive in the moment, everything else is past or future

[PoppyC]

Hi
Life scares me and that is why it affects my anxiety so much. In fact I think a lot of my anxiety stems from it.
It never used to but since my breakdown the whole issue seems to be about why are we here, and then the fear of death and not knowing what is beyond.
It was my mums birthday on 6th March - her first since she had died.
My mum and dad died within just over 6 months of each other.
Its strange, but even though I have the fear of life and death going on, their funerals and the deaths were kind of different to my fear. Its hard to explain.
Maybe I was wrapped up in a blur at the time. I did get a morbid fascination with cremations and what happens to the body after death...but maybe that was just curiosity.
I love life and I don't take any of it for granted, not even the boring moments, and it scares me to think one day I won't be here, but maybe something even better will be afterwards? I don't want to leave my son behind though and that is what keeps me hoping I will live until a very old age as I had him very young, so we will be pensioners together! :yesyes:

[SOBAY310]

One of my greatest struggles is that of getting depressed about death. I see my 5 year old girl enjoying life, laughing with me, and all the fun I have with her and my wife as a family. The lingering thought in the back of my mind won't go away, and that is that this is all temporary, nothing is forever, and that hurts my overall enjoyment with life. I love it, and I don't want it to end. This is coming from a 29 year old.

I am a Christian, and I believe in Jesus Christ. I pray all the time for him to remove the doubt I have about what happens after we die. The way I believe it is that we will be with our loved ones in heaven, but even a little bit of doubt in my heart leads to me being uneasy.

People say live life to it's fullest, one day at a time. And I suppose that's the best way to go. It's just hard.

These depressing thoughts didn't spring up as much until we had our little girl. I think once you have kids you start to think about death more because you want to stop time. You don't want your kids to grow up, you don't want to grow older, and you certainly don't want to leave this great earth. I'm expecting that as I get older, and my kids get older, we will naturally be more at peace with the thought of death. We will appreciate different things, and worry about some things less than we did when we were younger.

Please know that you're not alone in your thoughts, I'm all the way over here near Los Angeles, CA and we have the same thoughts.