What happens to people like me..

[Desprate Dan]

I am so frightened of the person i have become, i have a small circle of freinds, i have no direction in life, i feel as if i dont fit into this life..

I cant open up and let people in because i cant take being hurt, i am really frightened of were it will all end, i have this thought that people like me get labled "LONERS" and will end up taking there own life, i have read it in newspapers, this person commited suicide he was a "LONER" and had a history of depression..This is me, I feel i have so much love inside to give yet so frightened to give it.

I need to tell the doctor no amount of medication will fix me, it needs to come from inside me, yet i havent got the key to unlock it..

I dont want to go through life lonely, i want to be happy and at times i am but when i look to the future i see nothing, and i wonder what happens to people like me, who feel they just dont belong in this world????


Please help

Dan

[onceagain]

Morning Dan

We like everyone have our purpose we need to find it... and nothing different happens to us than anyone else the only difference it the bit in between.

You have a small circle of friends therefore you are lucky some people never gain a real friend all their lives and those with big circuits have their differences and often it is more acquaintances because they put themselves there....don't stand on the outside looking in..go in and you will see that everyone has a story and an issue..there are very few people that have a perfect life..even if appearances are deceptive.

Take the life you have and live it to the full as much as possible..some people are not get up and goers and some enjoy a quieter life...Don't be too hard on yourself...

Some people wait for years to find what it is that is set out for them...so be patient

[Bellabel]

Dan, I feel your pain, I hear your words.......you've spoken the words I can't speak aloud myself.

Awesome for you, and awesome for me....

Just remember, although this life may feel lonely, you are never alone.

xoxo

[Veronica H]

:bighug1:There were alot of 'what ifs' and negative affirmations in there Dan. Try to stay in the moment and not look too far into the future. I know this is difficult because anxiety will keep throwing up such thoughts and these are exhausting. Have you had CBT Dan? What meds are you taking?

Vewronicax

[eeyorelover]

Feeling like you just don't belong is an awful feeling!
I feel that way everywhere I go!
Even with family I feel like I'm stepping back into the background and not participating like I should. I'm not sure why I do this but I do!
I took one of those dang quiz things on Facebook yesterday about what is your mood.
It came back as melancholy!
I wanted to shout I'M NOT MELANCHOLY!
I WANT to be vibrant, lively, and in the center of things instead of hanging out in the background but I just don't seem to be able to!
Slowly my life has gone from having loads of people around me to no one but my family.
I don't have close friends who I share things with except on here!
I go out but even then I'm sitting there observing and not really participating!
So I think that maybe I just need to jump in and LIVE!
Have fun without worrying what others are thinking about me!
Take chances!
Going out tonite and going to try to be more of the group!
We'll see what happens :)
xxx
Sandy

[Maj]

Dan and Sandy - you both sound like happy, caring, sensitive people to me. We all don't need to be part of a clique. You can just live your life alongside other people. You don't need to be in with the in-crowd - they're usually all boring on their own anyway!! You two have more to offer. You sound like individuals who are really nice people on your own merits. Don't put yourselves down and don't beat yourselves up because you don't conform to being part of a group. You are both stronger than you think. Be proud of yourselves. People like you don't need to "fit in". You are v.i.p.'s in your own right. I know who I'd rather choose.........
Myra :hugs::hugs:

[Rom]

I too worry about what happens im in a similar boat to you Dan and i agree its very difficult place to be.The main questions i wonder the most are:

Can people like us ever be classed as 'normal' just like the rest of this race ?

Can people like us survive our entire life and not do something stupid and be happy as possible each day despite everything going against that ?

Can people like us find happiness ?

Can people like us find someone special that understands ?

Can people like us remain not in a nut house for the rest of our life's ?

[Idstain]

Hi Dan, i recommend checking out a book called "happiness" by mathieu ricard , it's life changing imo :)

[Desprate Dan]

Thanks to you all, you are all wonderful caring people i wish i could meet people in every day life like all you, no one else seems to understand me, i feel like a sqaure peg in a round hole, i just dont know were i belong or want to be it eats away at me all the time and i am constantly searching for answers which are just not there.. I have tried just living for the moment but if i do nothing changes does it i just stay unhappy, i so much want to enjoy life, its a precious gift and i can see its wonderful but i dont know what i want, all i know is i am not comftable in the here and now.. I thought about leaving my job, taking some of my savings and get an around the world plane ticket and just going off travelling on my own to try and find the real me, then come back and start from scratch, i am not sure it will solve anything though.........aaaagggghhhh i really dont know were i want to be right now and its making me so anxious..

Yes i have done CBT and its helped with some problems but i cant seem to sort this because i dont know what needs sorting..

I am currently on Citalopram 40mg and propanolol 80mg slow release, i dont want meds they cant sort this problem its down to me.. I need to tell the doctor i need to come off the medication..

I think i have some sort of personality disorder i just dont seem to fit in anywere or feel comftable anywere, and i hate being on my own but who on earth would want to be with me..

Thanks i will try and get hold of that book Idstain, currently i am reading The Compassionate Mind by Paul Gilbert..

Thanks to you all.

[gypsywomen]

dan the world better place withyou in it be strong xx

[Desprate Dan]

Thanks gypsywomen, i am going through a bad time at the moment, but i dont know why, just like today i started jobs like painting the fence, but it wasnt long and i got sick so i started another job and got sick and then another job, i just cant settle, now i am feeling angry with myself because i have started 3 jobs and not completed any... My mam asked what is wrong, " I DONT KNOW" how could i snap at my mother, and on mothers day of all days, i am so upset and ashamed of myself, i am restless i walk in one room and turn around and walk out again and pace up and down like an expectant father, i just dont know were i want to be.....I really hate this feeling.

Thanks

[Mya]

Hi Dan,

I just want to say you are so not alone in what you are feeling. It is such a terrible feeling too and I am so sorry such a nice person like yourself is going through it. It seems the kinder and gentler people like the ones on this forum are the ones who suffer most. Just like Gypseywomen said, the world is a better place cause you are in it and needs more like you. It is just so hard cause the world can be so cruel to us and to manage that is rough.

I think what is so tough for me is that I am in my early 30's, married to a lovely man yet still feel so incomplete. I think with me, as a young little girl I imagined marrying Prince Charming and living happily ever after. I was blessed with a nice childhood, however, adulthood has become such a scary reality! I see life is not a fairy tale and that is hard to accept. I am at the point where I feel any direction I turn, I will not feel 100% happiness and I know it boils down to my own deep sensitivity and deep thinking like you. But we all do have a purpose. It is just so hard to try and find it feeling like this but in time it will come. Be thankful you are not like normal everyday people because to me they are terribly boring! I think what is hardest for me is that I know I am not like the norm and now I need to take the plunge and stand up for myself and not feed into society's propaganda. With strength and courage you can as well. I know one day you will look back at this hard time with much pride in how you were able to succeed. Take care and know you are surely not alone.

xoxoxo

[Desprate Dan]

Mya,

Thanks your words are so sweet and i really appreciate them. I am sorry you feel the way you do, I think lifes really hard at times and being a sensitive person is a disadvantage in this modern society were only the strongest will survive. As a child i was always very shy, i would always think before i spoke incase i offended someone by accident because i knew inside the pain i felt, if the situation was the other way round, i found rejection very difficult to handle, i have always been a deep thinker but little did i know how much pain it would cause me as an adult. Although being sensitive to others feelings is an advantage, being a sensitive person can be seen by others as a weakness and prayed upon..

Thanks for your lovelly words.

[smudger]

Wow,I have just caught up with this whole thread. I feel like I am lost too. Although I am off meds and my mood is better I have lost the person I was and I don't feel about people the same way I used to! I sometimes think I need to take myself off somewhere on my own but I know I can't coz some people would miss me and I would miss them. I asked my hubby why he sticks with me through my depression and he said because he hopes one day I will come back! I honestly truly mean this "I know the old me is gone forever but I am not sure who the new me is...I guess at least I am not depressed at the moment...however I would rather have the old me back than win the lottery..I truly would! I am a stranger to myself and others! I put on a brave face though! What is the alternative? It's hard though I agree!xx

[Nechtan]

Hi Dan,

Never give up hope because its the one thing we have in our favour, though I know that is hard sometimes. You were better before and you can be better again. There are lots of different ways to get a better quality of life out there but its different for everyone. I've yet to find my own but I am sure from reading the success stories of others it exists somewhere and will only be found by exhausting all avenues.

I do know what you mean though. Sometimes its difficult to understand why so many of us are left to our own devices.

All the best

Nechtan