Depression rearing it's ugly head

[Lozzie]

Hi all x
Well where do I start?????
I have taken a turn for the worst:(
I suffer from general anxiety, agrophobia,and Panic attacks.
This has now lead me to depression because Im at home alone all day everyday while my partner is at work. I have lost all my self confidence and have lost my sex drive:( I hate my body and the way I look. I dont bother in making myself look good because quite frankly it would probably take me all day.
I dont go to sleep till late and then dont wake up in the morning till late.
I dont see the point in carrying on anymore. I dont do anything because of my panic attacks and anxiety.
When I worry and panic it upsets my tummy somedays so because of this I dont eat well (ie I dont eat much and sometimes skip meals)
I just dont see the point in carrying on, I cant see a way out. I have been suffering with anxiety and PA's for years now. It feels like the anxiety is taking over me so what is the point of fighting it??
I really dont know what to do anymore.
Any ideas?
Lauraxx

[freakedout]

Laura,

Have just read your post and I cannot believe what You have written - you sound like my double. I am EXACTLY the same with the same 'disorders' and the same feelings about it all. I even descrbe it as 'rearing its ugly head'. The only difference I would say is that I wake and get up early - I have to see to my children, otherwise I would prefer to just lie in bed and fester.

Sorry it has just blown my mind reading what I think, say and feel. In fact Laura, I recently changed my medication and have started to feel a little better than I have in months.

Do you take medication? Do you get any other support? I have little time at the minute to write a proper reply. Will be back later. PM me if you wish.

Until later, Take Care and I will be thinking about you.



PS sorry this is not supportive as such but I DO understand what you are going through. Catch you later, Bye:(

[Lozzie]

Hi louisa,

Thanks for your reply x No I am not on medication as I have been on anti-depressants before and I hated it. I have told myself that I can do it on my own and with Natural Remedies.
I'm not getting any help as such because I've been to counselling before for nearly a year and it didn't really help.
I know it sounds like I'm making excuses but I'm really not.
It's nice to know someone relates to what im saying.
PM me when you can and we can chat if you like?
Thanks
Laura

[Yvonne]

Hi Louisa and Laura

I am in much the same position but have improved a lot recently.

I had very bad depression last year and anxiety went through the roof.

My husband is out all work all day. I don't lie in bed - I just get up and get on with things. I keep myself very busy, I have to - to keep the anxiety and low mood down. I have to keep distracting. I do this by physical work in the house, housework etc, I take the dog out for walks and go to the shops more than I did. I am not ready for big stores yet but I do make sure I get myself out daily. I work very hard and I almost burn myself out which is not a good thing either.

I am on a 60mg dosage of Citalapram. It seems quite a lot. However th4e psychiatrist has toldme not to worry about the dosage at the moment. I went through a bad withdrawal last year from Seroxat.

It's hell being at home all day, especially when you want so much to be doing things. I have not been in this house and area very long and have no friends here so it makes me feel worse. I do have a couple of neighbours who are supportive and I have a coffee with them most days.

It can be a horrible existence. You want so much to do things but you can't.

My anxiety manifests itself by me wanting to burst into tears. If you have read any of my posts before you will know that I do go on about this. People tellme its a common thing with anxiety but it doesn't seem to give me much comfort. I just keep battling on. I have been diagnosed with 40% depression and 60% panic disorder. What I have noticed lately is that the actual panic symptoms are not so bad - it's just this unbearable urge to break down and cry. Do either of y ou feel like this?

Louisa what medication are you taking? I just like to know out of interest.

Laura, have the natural remedies helped you at all. I am taking omega 3 and magnesium at the moment. YOu read such wonderful things about natural remedies and I wondered if you have had any success with them.

As you will have gathered from the above I also completely understand how you are feeling - and I know there are lots of us out there. It is a real slog to keep carrying on - you feel so "different" from anyone else. It all seems so unfair.

Love to both of you
Yvonne



Y Goble

[freakedout]

Keep posting on here because any support helps and sometimes pusts things into perspective for you. I think you should perhaps consider some further help.

[Yvonne]

Hi Louisa - and Laura

Your message was great and I enjoyed reading it.

Some of the things you were talking about whilst you were on Citalapram do ring a bell with me. I can completely understand how you felt. I think with this med (and maybe other SSRI's) you can have some strange/or intrusive thoughts in the beginning. I certainly had thoughts of death and they can be truly frightening. All this, only adds to the anxiety.

I was interested that you said you reduced the Cipramil(I'll call it by its short name) from 40 to 20. Was this under your doctor's supervision. It just seems like a bit of a jump. Also you said you were put on the Dothiepin - at the same time as the Citalapram. So you were on a 20mg dosage and the Dothiepim was introduced. I didn't think that the two meds could be mixed - but I may be getting mixed up with something else. How long after you went on the Dothie - was the Citalapram completely stopped?

People who don't understand depression/anxiety either think that you are lazy because you're not working or they think you are making your symptoms up - or blowing them out of all proportion. I have had people say to me - but we all feel like that at times. I'm sorry but I don't think so - and certainly not on a constant basis. As you said sometimes you are "frozen" with the fear - it just will not let you do what you want to do.

With depression and anxiety yu have to keep working on it all the time. Making yourself do things, doing things that "may" make you feel better. They say go out and do the things you used to enjoy. So you do - but you dont enjoy them and so you lose your motivation in trying.

Do people really think that we want to sit at home dwelling on our anxiety and depression. Of course we don't we didn't choose to feel like this - as you said it is uncontrollable. I personally would love to get up in the morning - and be going out to work like I used to. It can be heart breaking watching other people going out to work and thinking why can't I do that.

I am sorry to go on - just airing some thoughts.

Despite my trying to get on with life - as far as I am able at the moment I still have this incredibly low feeling. I don't think that the Cipramil is the right med for me. However, the psychiatrist said that if we change group - then I have to wean off this and of course I will start feeling low again so it's all rather worrying.

I hope both of you are doing okay and have had better days. Take care.
Lots of love
Yvonne

Y Goble