Need treatment for intense despressive episodes - don't know what to do :(

[BabyRachel]

I randomly get very very intense depressive episodes. These episodes are truely horrible, I feel like I cannot go on feeling that way for one more moment and I would like to die. When it happens I cannot understand how people live normally, how they get up and go about their activities. These episodes can last a few hours or a day.

I am currently on 20mgs Lexapro for anxiety/dysthymia (what the psychiatrist said this is).. I need more help than my Lexapro. Its fantastic and has helped me a lot but I honestly cannot function when this happens and I get a lot of anxiety and panic about it happening. I don't know what to do. Are there any other drugs that can help? I don't want to change SSRI's but is there something I can take with it to help? Has anybody got any advice for me?

I know to try and distract myself but its impossible when you get no enjoyment from anything and you just want to die to have the feelings over with. I cannot live like this. I need some help but I don't know what. I'm going to go to my doctor soon but I was just wanting some advice from others in the same boat I would REALLY appreciate it.

Thankyou in advance. xx

[oneofus]

I've found a lot of good advice in Beating the Blues. You can read some of it at http://books.google.co.uk/books?id=7xzvI4nOTXYC&printsec=frontcover&dq=beating+the+blues&source=bl&ots=gj7mwezcSV&sig=knBmpTzZcUvHjJ7eo0u3yzeTHTg&hl=en&ei=R9CcS8b7BJ_-0gT4qtnZAQ&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=4&ved=0CBkQ6AEwAw#v=onepage&q=&f=false

Otherwise I found our local NHS trust in Wiltshire runs excellent courses for stress and mood management amongst other things http://www.awp.nhs.uk/templates/Page____840.aspx. Maybe something similar is available near you. Just being with other people is the same boat can be incredibly supportive.

Nick

[smudger]

BabyRachel this is a tough one. I know I will probably be in this boat again at some point. Each time it feels no less worse than the last. If you have seen the doc and drugs have been prescribed then maybe finding ways to cope with these episodes is what you need too until you see the doc again. You know it will pass. Accept the feelings you get at the time and maybe say to yourself, I am feeling like this but it will pass, I know it will, it has before and it will again. I can recognize triggers that set these episodes off such as if I stay in the house too much or start eating badly or don't get enough sunlight. Can you think any triggers? You might find that useful. Sorry I can't suggest anything else, when we are in this state nothing seems to work does it? We know how you feel though and it sounds like you need a thorough review with your doc.Let us know how you get on.:hugs:

[SueBee]

I know exactly how you feel Rach because I'm going through something very similar myself lately too. I wish I could offer you some advice to pull yourself out of these moments but I cant unfortunately.

As previously said, they do pass though so try to keep that in mind.

I just wanted to post to let you know you're not alone honey :hugs:

Sue xxxxx

[ElizabethJane]

Dear Baby Rachel this is only my opinion but I think that your meds might need tweaking. You should be on more of an even keel than experiencing such highs and lows as you describe. I am currently on a mood stabiliser and mirtazapine which works reasonably well. Have a chat to your psychiatrist when you see him again and see what he thinks. When you are deeply depressed always stick to a routine like getting up and washed and dressed even if you don't feel like it. Don't stop talking to people and stay safe when you are feeling vulnerable even if it is by text to tell someone that you are ok. Exercise is always a good activity and getting out of the house. Keeping a mood diary like mind gym or some CBT (I have CBT for dummies) will help as will a good relaxation cd to be practiced once a day. It does work. I even printed off some of my entires on here to show to my psychiatrist to show him how low I was feeling.

[BabyRachel]

Thankyou for your replies. xxxx

When I next see my psychiatrist he is putting me on antipsychotics for my anorexia so hopefully that can help to stabalise my mood as well. I will be going to the GP this week or next and asking her for some help, im also seeing my psychologist on thursday and will ask for some coping strategies.

I will try to keep in mind that it DOES go away but its just so horrible, worse than anxiety in my opinion. At least you can fight anxiety and see things get better, but when this happens its just all blackness..

[Redrainbow]

Hi Rachel,
I so know how you feel,,yes it is horrid when you slide down that path,,seems like there is no-way out doesn't it? I think when it gets like that you just have to think tomorrow or later may be better, and at some point it does get better now and then.
I know what you mean when people say try and distract yourself, you just think "Dont you think if i could, i would" It seems sometimes you can't control what your thinking and the awful thoughts just overtake everything. You will get better days Rachel,,,really you will. I certainly have more good days now, and i can now talk to people again,,which is a great help.
It will get better Rachel really,,,hope you feel better soon,,,
Regards Wayne,

[BabyRachel]

Wayne, I too have more good days than bad days. :) What worries me is these episodes come on so quick, and are so intense.. Scares the life out of me. I get so anxious about it happening.

Thanks for your reply, you really understand what its like. I appreciate it.

[Geoff2301]

I know exactly how you feel!!...... it seems like every few months my mood drops lke a stone and I feel absolutely terrible. Wake up early feeling terrible.... don't wan't to get up and don't want to lie in bed..... just want my head to feel "right"!! Force myself to do a few tasks which haven't got the slightest inclination to do! Trouble is, you forget that a few days ago, you were perfectly ok and that you will get better. Like you, I want it to stop immediately and have made an urgent appnt with the doctor hoping desperately for a magic pill for that instant cure!! Last time I saw him, he said I had one great advantage over most of the other patients he sees for mental problems...... I know I will get better!! Not convinced but within a couple of weeks I was ok again. A few days ago, mood started dropping again........ stuck a big note by the bed reminding me I will get better soon........ trying to keep busy....... going on this forum helps alot as I feel I'm not alone!! Strange thing is that as the evening comes on, start to feel significantly better and by the time I go to bed...... almost back to normal. ALways remember......YOU WILL SOON BE BETTER!!

Geoff

[alias_kev]

Hey Rachel, Sorry to hear you are going through this.

Personally I've had quite strong depression at times but not this severe highs/lows pattern. One of my friends that I met on here used to get this really really badly, just as you describe. In fact we used to PM a lot during their illness and the depth of their depression in the lows was terrifying even as a penfriend. For them and those who about them it must have been even worse. So secondhand I really appreciate what you describe. :hugs:

The others have posted some good advice and coping strategies, so I won't offer too many thoughts on this. I did encourage my friend to keep a (private) diary of their days - especially the good ones and good things and improvements. This seemed to really help them during the terrible lows as they could re-read it and get some conviction that the way they were feeling was false and far worse than the reality (even when that was still bad). This might help you too.

To give you hope I was eventually amazed at how fast and successfully my friend recovered; although they are still on their depression meds. They progressed far quicker than me.