A little advice please...

[Bluebug]

Hello Everybody.

Not really sure where to start, and i recently managed to type out my story and then delete it! so i'll try again.

I'm 22 and i have started having problems with my anxiety.
I know when it began. I have recently moved home from university and i considered cheating on my partner. The option was there, but nothing happened. I tortured myself for a couple of weeks with guilt until i decided to tell her. Within this time i went to the doctor, explaining my symptoms, which they diagnosed as IBS. She was fine about it and explained to me she was just happy i didn't let anything happen. i felt a bit better, but then started to panic about anything. I obsessed that my best friend would be either dissapointed or angry with me, so i confronted her too. She said the same as my partner. It feels like such a small problem, but no matter how many times i tell myself that it just doesn't dissapear.
Since then i seem to go through good spells where i can't believe i was so worried, and badspells where the guilt consumes me and hurts so much. I get heart palpitations, tight chest, sleepless nights, panic, constant fatigue and a constant feeling of dread.
I went to my doctor and he prescribed me Citalopram. I know what they do, and why i should take them, but i can't help feeling really scared i will become addicted. My mother became addicted to Seroxat a few years ago and is still stuck on them today. I have seen how brilliant and how destructive they can be. I feel ike things are never going to get better. I hate the fact its my fault and that i'm so weak. I feel like i'm being punished and there is no relief. If your hungry, you eat. If your thirsty you drink.

What do i do when i'm anxious? It just feels so hopeless.

I guess i don't know what i want to hear, but its nice to just type out my feelings.

[trac67]

Hi Bluebug,

Welcome to the forum, you will get a lot of good advice here and make some new friends.

When I used to feel really anxious I found keeping myself busy really took my mind off of it, as it takes away those anxious thoughts.

I was on citalopram for nearly 8 years and have recently stopped taking them, I will admit it was hard to cope without them at first, but as the weeks have gone on it has become easier, and they really did help me when I was at my worst with my anxiety.

Take care
Trac Xx

'Live your life with arms wide open, today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten'

[Piglet]

A big welcome to the site :D

Piglet xx

"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.

[Bluebug]

Hello Everybody,

I hope everyone is feeling well!

I hope no-one minds me posting on here, i still feel like a fraud, but its really hard to explain myself to anyone else.

I started on the Citalopram two weeks ago today and i feel no different. The guilt, anxiety, sleepless nights, sickness, general wierding outness is still there although now i have convinced myself there are problems with my relationship. Commitment has always scared me but i keep getting cold sweats when the subject of marriage or buying a house comes up. I know i love my girlfriend but im not ready for that talk yet!

I know i shouldn't hav but i had a couple of drinks last week. Is this why i don't feel better? really struggling with not smoking as well. I keep searching for a reason why i don't feel better but its not there. If anything i feel worse.

I went through a period last week when i felt better, then all of a sudden hardcore anxiety, shaking, cold sweats, sickness, all the usual. I was on a week off with my girlfriend and just starting to feel better when it all came crashing down. Was there a trigger? why does this happen?

I'm back at home and at work again now but feels really down this week. It all feels like i'm keeping some huge secret which i need to blurt out, but i don't know what it is. The guilty feelig are killing me.

Anyone else had feelings like this? Can anyone suggest some alleviation? i really need a break. been 5 months without feeling normal and it feels like its killing me.

Anyone want to share some happy thoughts?

[tara]

It's in all human nature to feel attracted to other humans, we wouldn't be human otherwise lol
Don't let guilt over ride you about this you found someone else attractive, people do it everyday, your not the first and you won't be the last.
Sorry if it sounds so blunt it's not meant to it's just fact.

[andrew]

hi,

im not sure how long youve been taking your medication for but it is advised to give it up to 6 weeks to 'settle' maybe you'll feel better then. i doubt a drink would have made much difference, altho if you are talking about smoking drugs, you really are playing with fire.
in time you will most probably work out your triggers, you being the best person to do this. it happens because youve got anxiety issues.
i think this 'feeling over quilty' and 'needing to confess all' are known traits in anxiety. personal opinion, for alleviation of these i suggest you get yourself a counsellor / or anybody and try talking about them in the cold light of day - no matter how small or stupid you think and feel they are. and like your girlfriend situation, deal with the ones you can in your day.
tried to answer questions in your last post, hope it helps. keep trying different things until you find ones that work for you, keep it positive, keep on talking .. andrew

[Bluebug]

Thanks for the replies guys.

Felt a bit better today. The feeling are still bad, but i'm trying to remember how happy i was before this all happened and remembering that can happen again.

I feel like i'm obsessing over things. I worry about something, then it gets worse and worse until i can't cope. Its wierd as i was always a together person. I can talk to my mother, she knows what this is all about , but i hate burdoning her. My girlfriend wouldn't be able to understand all this, and would just feel hurt that i have fears about our relationship. I wouldn't feel comfortable talking to a counsellor yet. Maybe in the future.

Thnks for the advice about the AD's. i guess i'm being a bit expectant at 2 weeks. i really think i could deal with all this if i could just have a break.

Anyway, do appreciate the support, if anyone needs to talk i will always listen!

Thanks x [:I]