At the end of my tether

[edwardthebear]

I am sitting here wondering if it is really worth going on anymore, the last year and a half has been a living hell for me, but just before Christmas it seemed that there might be something positive happening in my life. It was shortlived however, and at the moment I have never felt so ill with so many horrible symptoms.

A year last October my marriage broke up, I was only really starting to come to terms with it when last May, my Mother, who I was very close to passed away suddenly. Later in the year I was fortunate to meet a wonderful lady who I got on with so well and care for so deeply. At last it looked like I had something to look forward to.

In January of this year I started again with a combination of symptoms that has given me major panic attacks and now I am wary to go out of the house. I fainted in the early hours of Sunday morning and this incident has made me feel even more insecure.

I have suffered from bloated stomach and ectopics for quite a while, but now they have gone to new extremes. My stomach feels like a balloon and the heartbeats are so irregular morning noon and night. I also have the most unpleasant feeling as if my stomach is being squeezed followed by a tickling sensation around my heart region which leaves me feeling weak all over my body.

I have been backwards and forwards to the Doctors constantly, I have had several ECG's and a 24 hour monitor which I am still waiting for the results. I even paid for myself to have a private health assessment to try and get some reassurance. They all seem to be scratching their heads over the stomach issue dismissing it as anxiety ( what a surprise ) To crown it all the nurse at my surgery let it slip yesterday that my last blood test showed my cholesterol was raised, this has freaked me out even more.

I feel so cheated, I have always tried to keep myself fit, have never smoked, drink very little and eat healthily and never been overweight. I can't understand why I feel so awful :weep:

I am meant to be going on holiday in a couple of weeks time with my new partner and my children but I am dreading it as I am now.

[ZoJo]

Hello Edwardthebear,

Firstly don't under estimate what anxiety can do. Especially with the stomach! My husband gets a pain in the right side of his stomach, painful enough to make him feel sick. After finally getting tests (cameras), the pain is due to stress.

The positives are that you have been seen by numerous doctors who are all saying the same thing. As for the nurse letting it slip, was she concerned about your cholesterol level? or was it just slightly raised? Also bear in mind cholesterol can be sorted. With regards to fainting, have the doctors suggested why that happened? And it is understandable why that has made you feel so insecure about your health. When do you get your tests back for the 24 hour monitor? (Questions, questions!!)

Viewing it all from a different perspective - you have been through major, major episodes in a very short time. Such traumas can catch up with even the strongest of people. I believe that is why you are feeling so dreadful.
You do have positives in your life, you have your new partner, you have your kids and you are going on holiday.
Fingers crossed for your results, then you can start moving forward to that holiday xx

[edwardthebear]

Thank you for your kind words ZoJo x I am meant to be going for the camera down my throat next month, but all the waiting about isn't doing me any good either. I am off work too at the moment, so I am worried about my job as well as everything else.
No the nurse did not put any figures to what she said about my cholesterol, I really wish she had not said anything at all. I know stress can send it up & I certainly have had plenty of that recently.
I don't know when the 24 hour test results will be back, the monitor was only taken in at the weekend, so I am preparing myself for a long wait on that one too. The Doctors did not seem to pinpoint a reason why I had fainted, but it is the first time that it has happened in my 47 years, if I had a history of it perhaps it would not have scared me so much.
I really want be positive and try and enjoy life again but the more you try and fight back against the anxiety sometimes the stronger it seems to get.

[ZoJo]

Its the old catch 22!! It really drives me up the wall. Just when you get over one thing, along comes another.
Don't worry about your job, everyone is allowed to have time off when they are poorly.

Can you call the doctors and pester for the results (I would!) I haven't had a 24 hour one so I don't know how long they take to come back. (Someone must know on here)

I can understand the worry over fainting out of the blue, I have only fainted once in my 39 years, I was quite young (teens) I stretched up after waking up and boing on the floor I went.
I am sure the doctors will sort you out, they are doing all the relevant tests and hopefully they will start to put your mind at rest. I know the waiting is nail biting and doesn't help when you are so anxious.
Keep asking questions and try your very best to stay calm and you will come out of this episode. :hugs:x