Friends

[Louise2009]

Hiya,

I posted a similar thread about this subject a while ago. I am recovering from Anxiety, Depression and panic attacks, and it's taken a year to start feeling much better again. Last week I really felt things were going well, and I felt like my old self again and really happy.

However, 'friends' of mine keep bringing up me being ill last year, and dragging it out. And because I am still not doing some of the things I used to do, they seem to think I am still 'ill'. However, I want to build a new life and don't want to do some of things I used to do. They can't seem to accept this, and keep saying they are really worried about me. Some of these people are just aquaintences and not great friends of mine anyway.

It really upsets me and I feel they are not being supportive, and yesterday I got so upset and stressed about their comments that I felt they are going to make me ill again by dragging on the past.

Does anyone else have this problem? How do you deal with it? Do other people feel the same as me about wanting to build a new life and not go back to the old things?

Some advice would be really apprecitated

x

[JT69]

Hiya,

I posted a similar thread about this subject a while ago. I am recovering from Anxiety, Depression and panic attacks, and it's taken a year to start feeling much better again. Last week I really felt things were going well, and I felt like my old self again and really happy.

However, 'friends' of mine keep bringing up me being ill last year, and dragging it out. And because I am still not doing some of the things I used to do, they seem to think I am still 'ill'. However, I want to build a new life and don't want to do some of things I used to do. They can't seem to accept this, and keep saying they are really worried about me. Some of these people are just aquaintences and not great friends of mine anyway.

It really upsets me and I feel they are not being supportive, and yesterday I got so upset and stressed about their comments that I felt they are going to make me ill again by dragging on the past.

Does anyone else have this problem? How do you deal with it? Do other people feel the same as me about wanting to build a new life and not go back to the old things?

Some advice would be really apprecitated

x

Hi Louise

Firstly well done for getting to where you are now, it is hard what we go through but we reap the rewards in the end.

I dont know about you but I find it makes you a stronger person when you go through something like this and come out the other side.

I find that if "friends" do not accept that you have changed the way you want to live your life and that you dont want to do some of the things you used to then ask yourself are they true friends??

I would be in the same boat as you...wouldn't want them keep reffering to "how you were when you were ill" you want to move on and forget the past. I have just been through a period of depression/anxiety for the past 5 months. During that time I have been off sick from my full-time job and have spent most of the time doing what I have been capeable of. That has meant cancelling nights out with friends at the last minute and just not arranging things etc. The people close to me have totally understood and so I know they are true friends.

Its hard because unless someone has gone through a bad time as we have they truely do not understand what if feels like and that once we feel "normal" again all we want to do is get on with our lives.

I would worry about yourself and not be put under any pressure from anyone, as they are only true friends if they accept this.

Hope that makes sense and helps you.

Keep well hun. JO.xx

[Anxious_gal]

people don't like change and that includes your friends.
Like I'm not the same happy fun person I used to be..... my close friends can see that.
sometimes they push me which I think is good but then other times I feel like they are taking me down by pointing things out that I already know!! just would prefer not to hear it.
maybe try and talk to them?? tell them you do not want then to pint out your flaws rather congratulate you on how far you have come, not have far you have left to travel.

it can be come a habit to point out peoples flaws, while thinking your actually helping where as in fact your making the person feel worse.
I myself am guilty of this.
people can project their own issues on to other people without realizing it.