smear results

[emmaleo]

Hello all, Im really going through a bad patch at the moment and to be honest all i can think about is health health health or lack of it. To make things worse my smear test results came back showing a slight change in cells so now i feel like my time is really limited. My dr has said that he is not worried and that 90% of the time the cells return to normal by themselves. I cannot bare this worry anymore.. I wanna enjoy my man, kids and really wanna start family planning again for one last time but feel like it would be selfish of me to bring another child into the world if i wont be here to bring it up. I already suffer with terrible guilt because i always believe that i will leave my children due to cancer or a heart attack. I spend all my time looking up things that im convinced i have on google. Now that i am faced with something that may actually be wrong i feel a weird feeling of huh see i knew it... I really want to stop this now as my life is great. I have a fantastic man who tells me how much he loves me morning and night. I have 3 great sons who mean everything to me and i so long for another baby... Sometimes i feel a weird sense of how small i really am in the world and that i am so selfish having this irratating but very real illness. Some people really faced the news of cancer today and i did not so why do i torture myself this way. Surely my brain can work opposite? Im really sorry everyone for going on and on but i really had to get this off my chest before i explode...

[pussy cat]

the feeling is horrible i know & yet we know that it is all in the mind-but it will get better-try keeping busy although with a family & husband you are already - sometimes the ordinary everyday tasks arn,t enough to occupy your mind so try & fit in reading or a new hobby infact anything to keep your mind busy & stop it wondering on to health - as for your smear the dr is quite right in what he is telling you & obviously they will keep an eye on things so as if there are anymore changes they are dealt with long before they would be a problem to you - you will be fine :yesyes:

[athlete1]

Emmaleo, please stop worrying! Abnormal smears are so common, I had one and freaked out too. But I have the most amazing gynie who said that if I keep having regular tests I will never ever get cervical cancer. He explained that it is such a slow growing cancer that as long as you have checks, and if necessary have the bad cells removed you WONT get cervical cancer. I'm not a doctor, I'm just reporting what he said, but he is a brilliant doctor and I totally trust him. The chances are your cells will return to normal and nothing will have to be done! I suffer anxiety problems like yours, and at the moment I'm trying to get them under control without medication because I also want to try for another baby, but there are things that you can take when pregnant, I only say this because it sounds like you're spiralling out of control, which I did before and the only thing that helped was medication. Please stop worrying, I know it's more easily said than done, but don't waste your life worrying about something that might or might not happen!

[emmaleo]

Thankyou and i know that ur right. Yes the baby and medication thing is yet another worry and at the moment i am trying to come off of venlafaxine but im hoping that there will be something i can take during pregnancy. I do feel fairly out of control though at the moment but i know that things have to change. Im gonna keep a diary of how i feel and what i worry about each day. Maybe that will help. x

[Maj]

I can understand why you were frightened at your smear result. We always expect it to be "normal". But the doctor seems so positive that everything will be okay, so I'd try and be reassured by this. You are obviously very anxious to the point where it is spoiling your life at the moment. Have you spoken to your doctor about this? It's rotten to be living in constant torment, but you can get help with it. Don't suffer alone. Constant struggling in itself can be mentally exhausting. Just because you have a good life and family doesn't mean you don't have to suffer from anxiety. I'd speak to the doctor and get a wee bit of help through this. Sometimes we need a wee crutch to get our strength back up again. Don't be too hard on yourself!
Myra x

[emmaleo]

Thanks Myra i am trying really hard but every pain and twinge is feeling like something awful. Today i even had a missed call from a private number and i was so convinced that it was the dr calling to give me bad news that i rang the surgery to see if it was. Of course it couldnt just be a wrong number or a salesman, no it had to be the worst. Grrrr i could kick myself sometimes. x

[Maj]

You are no different to most of us, so don't despair! We've all been there with every ache and pain and it's never anything simple for us!! I always say us anxiety sufferers could write a book - and it would be a bestseller. Our vivid imaginations are wonderful!! Try and reassure yourself when you think the worst by saying to yourself "vivid imagination again" and this will maybe relax you each time. You'll get through this, don't worry.
Myra x

[smudger]

Hi hun. I understand the worry about abnormal smears. I used to be like this when I had my first abnormal smear years ago! I've had many abnormals since and a colposcopy to remove the cells. But you know what? Because of your smear results you are now under a microscope and you will not be in danger because they will pick up changes before they can do any real damage. Abnormal smears are SO common but as long as you keep having your smears you will be absolutely fine. Its so great that you have found this out so try and be positive about what you know rather than the what ifs which most likely will never happen! Take care. xx