karlyo
18-03-10, 16:47
Hi everyone,
I thought I would post this after what is really years of coping with this problem, to see if I am alone in this. I am an anxious person, I always have been, I have had panic attacks, breathing problems, tension headaches and health anxiety issues where I always assume the worst is happening to me.
But I have a particular fear of my boyfriend dying. This fear is TOTALLY irrational - I know that, so what frustrates me is why I can't get over it.
Some examples...
We live in the city so hardly drive, but if he is driving to visit his parents, or goes somewhere for work (i.e. a long 3 hour stint on the motorway) I think he will have a crash and die. If he doesn't call me to say he is safe within a normal amount of time, I start panicking.
If he is late coming home from work or a night out, and isn't picking up his phone, I think he has been mugged and beaten up.
He's really into running and goes for short but fast jogs a few times a week, when he gets back he is always really out of breath. I always think he is going to drop down with a heart attack, even though he is fit, healthy and 25!!!
If I'm away for a week and he's home alone, I worry that he will choke on his food and die....
You get the picture? I try not to let him know how bad it is because we have an amazing relationship and I don't want him to think I'm totally insane, but he does know I have anxiety problems.
The question is, how can I stop this? The worry when, for example, he is late back from a night out and I can't reach him is just terrifying - usually he has just got his phone on silent and hasn't heard it ring. But I will be sitting there shaking and crying until he gets back - why can't I just go to sleep like a normal person? In addition of course, I know that if any of these unlikely things happen, there is nothing I can do about it anyway, so it is pointless worrying! But still....I worry.
If anyone has advice, I would love to hear it - thanks in advance!
Karlyo :)
I thought I would post this after what is really years of coping with this problem, to see if I am alone in this. I am an anxious person, I always have been, I have had panic attacks, breathing problems, tension headaches and health anxiety issues where I always assume the worst is happening to me.
But I have a particular fear of my boyfriend dying. This fear is TOTALLY irrational - I know that, so what frustrates me is why I can't get over it.
Some examples...
We live in the city so hardly drive, but if he is driving to visit his parents, or goes somewhere for work (i.e. a long 3 hour stint on the motorway) I think he will have a crash and die. If he doesn't call me to say he is safe within a normal amount of time, I start panicking.
If he is late coming home from work or a night out, and isn't picking up his phone, I think he has been mugged and beaten up.
He's really into running and goes for short but fast jogs a few times a week, when he gets back he is always really out of breath. I always think he is going to drop down with a heart attack, even though he is fit, healthy and 25!!!
If I'm away for a week and he's home alone, I worry that he will choke on his food and die....
You get the picture? I try not to let him know how bad it is because we have an amazing relationship and I don't want him to think I'm totally insane, but he does know I have anxiety problems.
The question is, how can I stop this? The worry when, for example, he is late back from a night out and I can't reach him is just terrifying - usually he has just got his phone on silent and hasn't heard it ring. But I will be sitting there shaking and crying until he gets back - why can't I just go to sleep like a normal person? In addition of course, I know that if any of these unlikely things happen, there is nothing I can do about it anyway, so it is pointless worrying! But still....I worry.
If anyone has advice, I would love to hear it - thanks in advance!
Karlyo :)