9 yrs suffering..

[martynuk]

Hi, 9 yrs ago i had a parachute accident, on landing my leg and ankle/foot where badly broken, 2 wks in hospital and several operations and i was released, a few wks after this i started to feel short of breath, hot, panicky, like i couldnt breath, it subsided and i thought notning more of it, this happened a few more times, even when i was driving once! then one day a few mnths down the line i had to collect a friend from the airport, i was stood in LHR and all of a sudden it felt like the walls were closing in on me, i had no idea what was happening, i couldnt breathe felt like everyone was looking at me and i didnt know what to do, i clung onto a column untill i saw my friend, got to the car park and asked him to cal me a ambulance as i had no idea what was happening, they arrived and after checking me out advised i see my doc as they though it was a panick attach.. I went along to the doctor whom subscribed diazepam but warned this was short term, i went back a few wks later, after weaning my self off these, to find it had come back, at this point i realised i couldnt work in a office enviroment anymore and resigned.. and worked as a gardener for someone for a few yrs..My Doctor then prescribed Cipralex which i took for around a yr., i went back several times, she said give it time, eventually she sent me to a cognitive therapist, this was a 6 wk course, after which i also found it didnt help, i have since been on cipralex on and off, sometimes i feel im really beating it and slow down the ammount i take, recently i also had a bout of problems with my colon, and had to take steroids, these made me feel llike i was climbing the walls ! and i was afraid to take the cipralex at the same time, i stopped taking them, now ive stopped the steroids as advised by the docturs and the aniexty is back full whack allmost like it was at the start all the years ago, i even feel now ,when im in a situation where theres lots of people, very panicky, i was at a large market at the wkend, open air, but got myself in such a mess , felt like it was all just collapsing in on me.. I cant go into shops now without feeling this way, my only release and i know its wrong, is alcohol, not excessive ammounts, but a couple of glasses of wine at night when i come in from work.. im really feeling confused and lost, im thinking about calling the doctor again, ive read about a medication called buspirone that has had good results with panick attacks..
just to add i have these all day every day, the thought of this being forever scares me like hell, i cant go on with this forever...
im lucky in my job, i work and co own a small company and i dont have to have face to face meetings with clients, i couldnt cope with that..
Im currently on 10mg a day of cipralex, which i started taking again about 9 days ago, thinking of increasing it to 15 or 20mg like i used to be on, just dont know what or which way to turn..

I hate feeling this way, its not natural, im a grown man of 38 yrs with a wife and 2 children.. why me..I just dont feel half the confident fun loving person i once was, and wonder if i ever will ever again..

has anyone on here used buspirone ? and had good results ?

thanks and sorry for the yapping on so long..

[nomorepanic]

Hi martynuk

We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.

Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.

[jacko296]

Hi Marty...i can identify hugely with your story.. espescially with the feeling of 'the walls closing in' you are certainly not alone with that here.I am too around the same age and understand your feelings of inadequacy and frustration.I suggest you read as much info as you can from the site and others experiences and gain some positvity from them. have no experience with buspirone but im sure others have.This site has been invalueable to me in the last few months and really offered some comfort and hope.Feel free to private message me at any time.

All the best and welcome.

J.:D

[Dimi]

Hey. Im similar in that Im 38, nearly 39 in fact. wife, 2 kids. I feel like I should just cope and get on with it. I tend not to let on when I feel any of my (many) symptoms. Almost embarrassed by it.

While I dont know about the meds, you're certainly not alone in it.

[martynuk]

thanks for the replys, glad ( not in a glad glad way ) to hear im not alone, i do feel somewhat embarrised like you say, i know i shouldnt feel like this, i know its wrong, im a grown man, i have responsibilitys, i should be able to get on, but i cant, and it is beginning to wear me down, i realised since i stopped the cipralex and restarted it has only been about 10 days so i should give them time to work again, if i remember they take a while to get into your system, im on 10mgs.. what medications are you on ? dimi and jacko296 ? have you found anything herbal that worked ? i have a pile of pills here, ashva-gandha , kalms, st johns wort, siberian ginsing.. all of which did nothing to help me, in fact i read you shouldnt take st johns wort with cipralex, so thats out of the window..one thing i do find helps me slightly and it might sound daft is airwaves chewing gum, something perhaps to do with the clearing of the nose/throat so helps or appears to help steady breathing ? vicks in the stick also, a good whiff on that opens up the air waves !
thanks

[dulcie]

I used to chew opal fruits - helps you swallow - get where you are coming from with the airwaves. I never been one for any kinds of meds even paracetamol till my anx got bad this year - a friend said - why worry or be ashamed? epileptics, diabetics, skitzophrenics are on meds all their life why shouldn't you while you need them. its true - made me feel much better - hope you can see it that way too!

[Veronica H]

:welcome:to NMP Marty. This is an illness of how we think. Thoughts become feelings instantly when nerves are sensitised .These feelings are very powerful and many here have experienced the symptoms you describe. There is a brilliant book by Dr Claire Weekes;SELF HELP FOR YOUR NERVES published by Thorsens ISBN 0-7225-3155-9.This is available from the NMP shop. Dr Weekes was a physician and scientist. She was a fellow sufferer (nominated for the nobel prize for medicine) and really understood this illness. She took the mystery out of it, and devised a simple programme for recovery. I can't recommend this enough. This will get better.

Here is a link to her site;

http://www.drclaireweekes.co.uk/ (http://www.drclaireweekes.co.uk/)

Veronicax

[ectopicsufferer]

Hi Marty welcome to the site, i hope you get the help you need xxx

[martynuk]

Hi Marty welcome to the site, i hope you get the help you need xxx

Thanks, I hope these awfull feelinsg one day go completely so I can resume my usual happy life again..

Ive ordered the book by Dr Claire Weekes;SELF HELP FOR YOUR NERVES
will settle down and give that a good read.. and in the mean time carry on taking my Escitalopram that ive just upped to 15mg a day, and my emergency Diazepam which I cut in half and it makes it 1mg .. they often take the edge off the day, and never have i needed more that 2mg cut into two per day.. but Im worried ill run out and seeing as the doctor prescribed me these some 4 yrs ago, i will need to go and see her to ask for more, yet more anxiety in sitting in the doctors, it all seems to go on and on..
we can only look forward though, im really looking forward to the book, and will give it every thing I have and try anything .. Ive wondered about being hypnotized has anyone tryed that ?

[martynuk]

well i spoke to the doctor over the phone, she hiked me back up to 20mg Escitalopram straight away, and prescribed 2mg of diamapam as and when needed, no more than 3 a day, the Escitalopram has had a awfull effect as you can imagine, i feel like im trembling at the moment, very hot in the mornings, and all round shiity, but i know in my heart of hearts in a few weeks this will turn around.. its just a time thing, the diazapam i only take in halfs, so 1mg maybe twice a day, but not every day, as we all know some days are better than others..

just what is the best remedys people have found ? i use vicks nasal decongestant to help keep my nose clear, i also seem to suffer from slightly blocked nose which compounds on the trouble breathing part, i also chew air waves, they keep you clear and breathing well.. just wondered what else other people do ?

life will get better, it has to..

[loulabell]

Hi Marty,
Just thought id mention have you heard of an organisation called No panic, they do telephone recovery groups which might help you, ive done 2 in the past and theyve really helped when ive been struggling to cope. They also have a helpline you can phone to speak to someone and most of their volunteers have suffered with anxiety so they understand alot about it. Ive also read all Dr Claire Weekes books they are fab and another very helpful book is The Anxiety Trap by Terri Conley. You can recover from this, believe me i was once suffering like you and now live a relatively normal life. Dont get me wrong i still get the occasional flash of panic or bad day if ive been under alot of stress but i cope and can generally say i enjoy life. I hope this helps you, when you find the right tools to help you cope, and believe that you will get better then you will. Id say the most important thing that helped me was knowledge and understanding about anxiety, which you will get from this site, the books mentioned and No Panic. Good luck.
Louise