Cancer stories everywhere [Archive]

View Full Version : Cancer stories everywhere

sarahsarah

22-03-10, 18:52

Hi everyone,

It has been a while since I posted but I have been browsing the site regularly since my first bout of HA last Summer and it has helped me calm down and keep positive so I can only extend my thanks to everyone on here for sharing their fears, being supportive and being generally ace. However, in the last few weeks, my fear that every twinge, ache or pain in me (or even the absence of any symptoms at all) is cancer has come back with a bang.

While I realise cancer does indeed affect many people in many ways, it seems you can't go a day now without hearing of someone who has cancer, or someone who died of cancer. I stopped buying magazines which I used to enjoy because there was always a cancer story in there. Now I am afraid to buy a newspaper because it seems like every day there is an article about cancer. I try to rationalise this by telling myself the reason the stories are in the mags and papers is that they are pretty unusual and that yes, while 1 in 3 of us will be affected by cancer in our lives, the majority of them will be in people of advanced age etc but still, it is on my mind far too much.

The other day I walked home from work for the first time in a while, about 5 miles at a reasonable pace and was understandably a bit achy from it yet I still thought the aches were from cancer and not from walking- it's madness, really. I am all het up about the thought of going to my GP for anything in case he/ she takes one look at me and suspects I have cancer, which is mad, I know. I am an otherwise sensible woman with a job I enjoy and am looking forward to getting married and starting a new life with my husband-to-be but I feel like this "cancer-shadow" is hanging over me and spoiling everything.

Anyway, I just wanted to share this.

stressbunny

22-03-10, 19:01

I know what you mean. I have a sore in my mouth at the moment,and am convinced it is cancer - I am sure this is because of that advert on tv at the moment about drinking making you more likely to get mouth cancer...

Starscream

22-03-10, 19:03

I can sympthaise with you.
Everywhere I look - News, TV, Magazines, paper etc - It's illness stories everywhere.

MS/Cancer/Meninigitis.

It was probably always there but when you have H.A like we have you think it's following you everywhere and that it is a sign :(

Carly Lou

22-03-10, 20:21

sarah..... i could not relate to you enough.................. my most hugest fear is cancer, yes it is everywhere...... i notice it more now than what i ever did, i have been diagnosed with ibs, since last year, had it real bad, and i had a abdominal scan, vaginal swabs, private smear test, blood tests as i was convinced i had cancer, everything came back clear..... i then had costichondrol joint syndrome... just were i over did it at work on my ribs, thought i had lung cancer, at 25 lol.... so had a chest xray.... all fine, then i had a inner ear infection, and i was dizzy all the time, so brian cancer came into mind, paid private to have a eye test which cost £100 to check behind eyes swelling ect, all fine............. but now..... the ibs is back, with a meaner head than ever, tummy pains, back pains, cramping.... feeling sick.... so guess what.... i think i have ovarian or cervical cancer.... again............. am taking anti spasm tablets for it, and it kind of helps.... but i also have pains on my sides by ribs and sometimes in my boobs, so guess what..... breast cancer.... its not good, at all, i get a sore throat i think it is cancer.... its so bad i even chose my funeral song a few months ago.... now that is not good.................. i cant shift the worrys, have a fab partner.... little boy life is great apart from the big C word.............
i know how you feel, how all of you feel........ its terrible, i have risperedone and propanol tablets but i dont want to take them, its terrible............... so nice tho to see someone else has the same fears..... xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx big hugs xxxxxxx

sarahsarah

22-03-10, 20:23

Thanks for your replies, people. In a perverse way it is nice to know other people think the same way I do, even if it is a common experience of a bad feeling. I hope we can all get over it and soon.

I know the cancer magazine articles were always there, I used to read them and yes, I would be moved by them but I wouldn't think they were a sign -now I do and as a result I am missing out on something I used to enjoy, all because of my HA.

I need to get over this before it takes over my whole life, but I am not sure how I can do that. But thank you very much for your replies xx

busybeingmum

23-03-10, 14:58

I can relate to this story so well! Since getting HA last year I see cancer stories are all around me. I can't even bear to look at the Somerfield bag as it supports Macmillan - how crazy is that? I feel physically sick when the Cancer Research ad comes on TV saying one in three of us will get it! I freaked about this and mentioned last time I saw the doc - he said that it is true but mostly it is old age - you have to die from something.... I feel so bad because I know these charities are such brilliant causes yet I can't bear to see them. Funny thing is I have had a direct debit for Cancer Research going back 10 years - I just saw a good charitable cause then that needs support. Now I just freak - feel sooooo selfish for being like this....

Ophelia105

23-03-10, 17:47

ooo this is my main worry - every ache and pain - recently i found a lump in my boob - i was beside myself - after a loooooooooooooong time I managed to get to the dr who referred me to the breast clinic - it all turned out well (glandular apparently) but now I am worried I have a pain at the base of my spine....

will it ever end???

Jan63

23-03-10, 18:36

I can also relate to everything you have said. I would have loved to have read Jade Goody's book and a couple of years ago I could have read it and it wouldn't have bothered me but now the thought of reading it fills me with dread. Every symptom I get I think it's cancer.:weep: I felt better when I was on citalopram but I have run out and need to go back to the doctors for some more but I have made two appointments and had to cancel them because I got in such a state about going. I have had some bloating underneath my right ribs and I'm convinced it's some sort of cancer so I daren't go to the doctors whilst I'm feeling calmer and I can't feel calmer without the citalopram but the doctor won't give them me without seeing me so it's a viscious circle really.:weep:

I agree though, cancer does seem to be everywhere. I've stopped reading mags and papers also for this reason. Even on facebook cancer is everywhere and I've had to press the 'hide' button more than a few times.:unsure:

Maj

23-03-10, 18:45

I honestly think that worrying about having cancer and actually having cancer is two vastly different things. When you have cancer you just go through the process of seeing how your illness progresses and accepting treatment hoping that it will work, which it often does. Trying to have hope. Having a cancer obsession is making yourself ill at the thought of it. I say this because my dad's youngest brother died in the early hours of this morning of cancer and I've just visited my mum's cousin today who is in the last days of her life, with cancer. Neither the two of them were anxious about having it, they just wanted to live. So I could think that it could be me next, but I'd rather enjoy life because it is so precious. Remember also that cancer doesn't have to be a killer.
Myra x

sarahsarah

23-03-10, 20:10

Thank you for all your replies, particularly to Myra- I am so sorry for your loss.

I realise worrying I have cancer and actually having it are two very, very different things and I apologize if in any way I have disrespected anyone who has cancer or who has loved ones affected by it. I have lost two very dear people to the disease and they way they fought it and finally accepted it was truly humbling.

Deep down, I know the little aches and pains I get are highly, ,highly unlikely to be cancer, we get them all the time and I am not 21 anymore- I may just have to get used to them as part of life. My parents, older relatives are all in good health generally but almost all of them have a bad back or a painful knee or whatever- not cancer at all, just ageing! If I really thought it would put an end to it, I would pay for every test and scan going to be declared cancer-free. But I know that this would only give me respite for a short time then I would be back to worrying- my fears are irrational so rational explanation and reasoning won't help, I don't think.

At the moment, I am just about keeping these fears in check but I can feel them encroaching on my life, tarnishing every moment of happiness. I don't want this to get any worse, I really don't. Coming on here helps so much, just to articulate my feelings in this post has helped enormously xx

Maj

23-03-10, 20:43

SarahSarah, you haven't disrespected anyone, so please don't apologise. But I feel sorry for anyone who has this terrible fear that cancer is going to strike at any time. It seems like an awful waste of life. I know what it's like when you get obsessed with something, but honestly, most people I know who have actually had cancer have been oblivious about it until precise symptoms happen. I am sorry for anyone who has this fear. I had the same fear many years ago, but now that I am middle aged I know that if it's going to happen then there's nothing we can do to stop it. So enjoy your life as much as you can because it really is a gift.
Myra x:hugs:

Cell block H fan

23-03-10, 20:53