danicali
22-03-10, 23:26
Hello. I am new here, but not new to panic. I have suffered panic on and off since my early twenties, and i was an anxious child. my symptoms have changed over the years, bizarrely - has anyone found this as well?
first, it was heart palpitations. they stopped. years on, it has become feeling faint and the latest one, which freaks me out, is the feeling my tongue is 'in the way', or moving without my consent, or im just aware of it, like im going to have a seizure (though i never have had one). this freaks me out more than any of the others have.
some of these symtpoms are so crippling. i hate this. i thought i was on top of anxiety, and i was for years, until i left a very, very abusive ex husband who turned vindictive after i left him, and all the stuff he put me through has brought back my panic.
i now fear motorways. i cant drive without feeling im going to pass out behind the wheel, though Im fine driving local roads as long as its not a motorway. i didnt used to be like this. i hate being afraid all the time. every day, im scared. scared of dying, scared of everything. worried all the time.
i really think that what my ex has put me through has caused all of this. and being far from home and not being able to even visit has made it all the more difficult - as ive gone through this split alone though i have my little boy at least.
i want to be anxiety free again. is there any chance?
im addicted to xanax. have been for years. i tried to quit, but the withdrawals are awful - ironically, the worst symptom i had from withdrawing was the feeling i was going to swallow my tongue - so perhaps that experience has 'left' the same symptom with me even though im back on the meds.
other symptoms ive had - vertigo, feeling like im gonna fall out of my chair if i scroll down or up a page on my computer screen, feeling faint, jelly legs, trembling, constant fear, nausea, metallic taste in mouth, crying spells, rage, disorientation, and terrified of passing out in public or behind the wheel.
theyve ruled out physical problems, so i am feeling like a bit of a 'nutcase...' i wish i had control over this, but i dont. how do you get there. when anxiety becomes so great, it takes over, as if youre possessed. the hell ive been through in the past two years, i wouldnt wish it on anyone. what he's put me through, nobody can believe.
can you recover from having gone thru the worlds most acrimonious divorce in the history of divorces,when he - a PHD with a very high IQ who is a master of manipulating people, made false allegations that you threatened to harm the son you adore, lied to the court time after time, and even convinced people that I was the abuser, not himself (he did this to his previous partner but this was not admissable as evidence given data protection laws), or the fact the system seems to do nothing to protect your rights or even acknowledge his behaviour?
i just want to be in control again, and not so afraid all the time. He failed to take my son away from me by having failed, thankfully, to convince the court that I was unfit, or mental, or a threat, but the toll the battle has taken on me - i had to fight like a wild animal and still do, 2 years on he continues to do whatever he can to cause me distress. i am forced to deal with him given he has contact ordered by the court, with our son. i feel as long as i have to deal with him, im never gonna be able to have the 'breather' i need to work on my anxiety.
anyone?
first, it was heart palpitations. they stopped. years on, it has become feeling faint and the latest one, which freaks me out, is the feeling my tongue is 'in the way', or moving without my consent, or im just aware of it, like im going to have a seizure (though i never have had one). this freaks me out more than any of the others have.
some of these symtpoms are so crippling. i hate this. i thought i was on top of anxiety, and i was for years, until i left a very, very abusive ex husband who turned vindictive after i left him, and all the stuff he put me through has brought back my panic.
i now fear motorways. i cant drive without feeling im going to pass out behind the wheel, though Im fine driving local roads as long as its not a motorway. i didnt used to be like this. i hate being afraid all the time. every day, im scared. scared of dying, scared of everything. worried all the time.
i really think that what my ex has put me through has caused all of this. and being far from home and not being able to even visit has made it all the more difficult - as ive gone through this split alone though i have my little boy at least.
i want to be anxiety free again. is there any chance?
im addicted to xanax. have been for years. i tried to quit, but the withdrawals are awful - ironically, the worst symptom i had from withdrawing was the feeling i was going to swallow my tongue - so perhaps that experience has 'left' the same symptom with me even though im back on the meds.
other symptoms ive had - vertigo, feeling like im gonna fall out of my chair if i scroll down or up a page on my computer screen, feeling faint, jelly legs, trembling, constant fear, nausea, metallic taste in mouth, crying spells, rage, disorientation, and terrified of passing out in public or behind the wheel.
theyve ruled out physical problems, so i am feeling like a bit of a 'nutcase...' i wish i had control over this, but i dont. how do you get there. when anxiety becomes so great, it takes over, as if youre possessed. the hell ive been through in the past two years, i wouldnt wish it on anyone. what he's put me through, nobody can believe.
can you recover from having gone thru the worlds most acrimonious divorce in the history of divorces,when he - a PHD with a very high IQ who is a master of manipulating people, made false allegations that you threatened to harm the son you adore, lied to the court time after time, and even convinced people that I was the abuser, not himself (he did this to his previous partner but this was not admissable as evidence given data protection laws), or the fact the system seems to do nothing to protect your rights or even acknowledge his behaviour?
i just want to be in control again, and not so afraid all the time. He failed to take my son away from me by having failed, thankfully, to convince the court that I was unfit, or mental, or a threat, but the toll the battle has taken on me - i had to fight like a wild animal and still do, 2 years on he continues to do whatever he can to cause me distress. i am forced to deal with him given he has contact ordered by the court, with our son. i feel as long as i have to deal with him, im never gonna be able to have the 'breather' i need to work on my anxiety.
anyone?