Finally maybe i will get some help please

[Marie01]

Hi, i am new to this so bear with me. I have suffered with Anxiety for 12 years now, it started when i had my drink spiked in a nightclub when i was 19. I was seriously let down by my doctors at the time as i think they assumed i was a drung user which i wasn’t.
I basically suffered the worse experience of my life when i realised my drink contained speed, i thought i was dying at the time i didn’t realise what was happening to me was a panic attacks, i thought it was due to the drug in my system slowly killing me. i was admitted to hospital after 2 days of complete panic, going to bed at night and not expecting to wake up. No one told me i was having panic attacks. After many trips to the GP he put me on several different medications still not explaining anything to me. What i feel i really needed was someone to talk and explain things. Now slightly older i have realised i wasn’t dying but have never got rid of the panic disorder it seems to have created, I just cant forget what happened to me, i am a totally different person to the one i would have been had this not happened to me, or been dealt with correct. I have been back to GP since and again just told to go on med, which i dont want to.

This is my last resort, and i am seeking help even more so now because me and my husband what to try for a second child, but as soon as i thought i was pregnant i suffered a major panic. Dont know what to do now, why should this rule my life, why shouldnt i have another child but im worred that it will no longer be just me suffering but my unborn baby should i become pregnant and panic. Please help me.

[diane07]

Hi Marie01

A huge warm welcome to nmp.

You'll get loads of advice and support here and make some lovely friends along the way.

Best wishes

[mary3]

Welcome to NMP just reading some of the posts on here will make you feel better and know you are not alone. I suffer with anxiety/panic attacks and the i use distraction and rescue remedy when feeling really bad. Im sorry i dont have any better solutions to help you but i wanted to let you know that i had a baby 18 weeks ago and i was scared through out my pregnancy (this is also my 2nd child), however my daughter doesnt seem to have been affected by my problems at all, she is really chilled and laid back (wish i was ha ha). Being pregnant may even give you a reason to focus on being more relaxed? Could you also try a different GP at your surgery? I know at mine that some GP's are much more understanding than others and dont offer meds as the only solution. IT sounds to me like you had a very horrible time 12 years ago, im no expert at all but have you ever thought you may have a bit of post traumatic stress from that incident? Anyway take care and i hope this website helps you on your road to recovery xx

[nervy-paul]

Hi Marie01,
Welcome to the nmp forum, I am sure you will find lots of support and plenty of people will be here to advice and help where they can.
That is a horrendous experience to have gone through, and must have been terrifying. You sound as though you have been really let down by the authorities. The simple things like talking to people and explaining what is going on - it doesn't take much effort and would have made all the difference for you I'm sure.
A lot of Dr's first reaction for anything mental seems to be medication, it might be right for you, it might not, you need to get as much info as you can before you decide what treatment is right for you.

Best wishes, Paul

[Marie01]

Hi AMiee

Thanks for your reply, its been really helpful, i feel at last someone understands me as i have kept these feelings to myself for so long just keep fighting it myself. It would be nice to keep in contact as you do seem to have had a very similar experience to me, some days are worse then others (yesterday was a bad day, but todays better). I know my thoughts are what controls my attacks, but sometimes i get so tried of fighting these that i give in to the panic. meds did help me only took them for 6 months after this all started, wish now that i had continued with them and requested therphy but i am trying not to dwell on things i cant change, negative thoughts are what starts off my circle again. i start to think what if the drugs damaged my heart, as i blame this whole thing on that drug, but reading this back i know the drug did not do any harm to me and i just need to move on from dwelling on it.

I have made an appointment for Friday, to ask doctor to refer me to a psychiatrist or psychologist, hopefully i wont cancel this one as usually i do. i worry i will have to wait years for NHS appointment as i cant afford private, then i will be let down again, i worry i wont be able to attend as no one to look after my daugther but maybe i am trying to find excuses, i just feel so let down by GPs have no faith at all, But this is something i wont let beat me, ive got though it this long and will continue to fight. I had a wonderful pregnancy with my first child so dont know why i am panicing about being pregnant, its all about 'what ifs' what if i panic and harm my baby, what if i miscarry but these are things i cant control, and thats my problem i need to be in control all the time to keep my panic under control.

Thanks for taking the time to reply, i do appreciate it, you seem to be getting the help you need keep with it and think positive, we wont let this control us living the rest of our lifes.

Marie
XXX