Stress, going mad, panic, things are not working out

[phil06]

My symptoms:

*Pounding headache
*Very stressed
*Feel suffocated, air around me warm and feel I can't breathe in it, too much cold air makes me scared too.
*Just can't relax and watch a dvd or sumin..
*Whole body pain, chest, muscles.
*My love life is driving me bonkers I keep getting let down and cancelled
*on with dates I really can't take anymore of it..:doh:why how can I be soo unlucky..
*Ringing in ears.
*Feel I'm ready to go crazy.
*Lots of depersonalization.

My life is not going my way..ok it might never be perfect but I'm not even happy I feel down and low. This is making me panic again..I've got so angry with these woman who let me down the last few days 4 months almost of 2010 and it's all been the same I feel maybe it's me? Maybe I lose the head but then again it was never this HARD in the past? There so indecisive why do they lead me on? My confidence has been destroyed, I've gave up. This is the worst it's EVER been..I can't take it.

In the past a date at the cinema was a slightly easier task just casually arrange it and hope for the best. Now I've had about 10+ people let me down in the last few months and it's horrible..I don't want to take a break as I've been single three years so it's hurting to sit and watch a dvd and not try and get that simple date..the get out the house meet a new woman kind of thing.

I don't know what I've done to deserve it..I thought with these dates one might happen but none will. :weep: I've had two sleepless nights again..feel all funny and weird and upset.

Why can't it be easier? I start off optimistic but soon see it crumble when I realise I've been mugged again into getting my hopes up..I don't blame them I blame luck..I met people before and it just happened now that lucks LONG gone..life really sucks! :scared15: Who am I anymore and why is this happening to me? am I a horrible person? This may sound selfish to want company but after three years I'm hurting bad with it not the kind of guy who likes being single..if it's been hard lately it's now super super bad..going on hopeless now. This post is how three years frustration has left me feeling.

[Mervyn]

Hi Phil,

Relationships can be pretty hard even when we are feeling well. If you are feeling highly stressed and panicky a relationship is only likely to amplify your symptoms and make you feel even more worried about things.

It might be an idea to try undertaking activities that you enjoy and which involve meeting people but with no intention of looking for a relationship. If you keep busy this helps to keep your anxiety in perspective otherwise I know I just dwell on things and little problems become huge monsters. Also, by engaging in activities you like you might start to calm down and then will be in a better position to form a relationship.

Good luck

Mervyn

[jacqui03]

Sorry you are having such a bad time (((((hug)))))

[Louise2009]

Hi Phil,

I agree with Mervyn, If you are feeling this stressed and anxious, I am not sure a relationship at this time would really help you. I know from experience that it's not always the answer, I went through my twenties looking for relationships and thinking that it was the answer to everything, but it really wasn't and now I wish I had not stayed in those relationships.

Could you go to your doctor and ask for some councelling - tell him how you are feeling, and maybe he will put you on the waiting list. I find it really does help. Also are you exercising? Try to do a fast walk for half an hour a day, going to a gym would be ideal but I know it can be expensive. Try to get out and meet people, make new friends, or do some voluntary work. Voluntary work has really helped me and I have made some great friends and work opportunities have come out of it. Also what about meditaion?? Meditation is a great way of calming your mind - look on the internet for meditation centres, as lots of them do free drop-in classes at lunchtimes for an hour. I promise it will help.

I know its difficult but try to keep yourself busy, I also find that reading helps take my mind off things.

These are all things that have worked for me. Remember you are still very young and you have your whole life to look for relationships. Try not to see women who have let you down on the internet as rejecting you - they really cannot have a proper idea about you as a person from just communicating with you on the internet, so it's not a rejection as they cannot have formed a real opinion of you if they have not met you anyway. So try to remember this when you feel upset about it all.

Best Wishes,

Louise xx