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Jabbathehutt
24-03-10, 21:17
Hi everyone

This is kind of a huge step for me - I'm normally extremely introverted and not used to putting my feelings out there for everyone to see. So here goes...

I've been getting panic attacks for about the last eight years. Things like standing in queues, public speaking, going on escalators, travelling on the tube or on buses and so on are normally enough to set me off. Although I realised ages ago that they weren't going to go away, they were never severe enough for me to really do anything about it. I went to the doctors a couple of times in the past, and was prescribed some Propanolol, which didn't seem to make much of a difference, so I just devised techniques to lessen the impact (doing the shopping early in the morning to avoid the queues, using lifts instead of escalators, etc).

However, recently I had a terrifyingly bad attack while travelling to work. I couldn't breathe and was hyperventilating, felt dizzy, shaking and so on. There were no seats available on the tube, so I had to sit on the floor (and feel a complete idiot!!), otherwise I know I would have collapsed. And around that time, I was beginning to feel a lot less comfortable around people. Although I could see that no one was looking at me, I feel like everyone was looking, laughing and so on at me, something that persists, making life pretty uncomfortable!! I've been to see my doctor, who's prescribed me with Citolopram. I've been taking 20mg a day for around six weeks, and not really noticed any effects so far, so beginning to wonder when it's gonna kick in...

It's kinda frustrating, cos even though I was under a fair bit of stress - I hated my job, and my future there was uncertain anyway, my circumstances have since changed. I'm now working somewhere where I like, doing something I enjoy, and although I choose to spend way too much time on my own, I've got great friends, family, partner, etc. So life is good. I just can't shake this feeling of being judged by everyone else. Aaarrrgh!!!!

Anyway, thanks for listening, and all the best everyone!!

BD

nomorepanic
24-03-10, 21:19
Hi Jabbathehutt

We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.

Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.

Straw Jacket
24-03-10, 21:26
hi there Jabba, I am fairly new here also. May I say congratulations on sharing your feelings I know it is very hard to do.

I hope you find some good help and friends here, feel free to message me anytime.

All the best

Jabbathehutt
24-03-10, 22:20
Cheers guys!! It's kinda funny - I wrote that hoping I'd get some 'release' from it, but now I'm worried that anyone who's read it is thinking I'm a total idiot!!

Dear, oh dear!!!