mothermac
25-03-10, 02:10
I really don't know how I am going to explain how I feel in this post, but I just need to tell someone to see if they could have a different perspective on it, and maybe explain to me why I am experiencing these emotions.I have been married to my husband for 17 years now and our relationship is ok I suppose after all this time,and after the usual,kid,bills,mortgage,etc,you get the picture,however lately I have been feeling strong emotions of dissatisfaction with him and I don't really know why.I do suffer with anxiety that's obvious but sometimes everything annoys me about him.He doesn't put me first a lot of the time and does tend to take me for granted,I suffer from ME and have worked part time in Tesco for the past year simply because I do not want to go to ground and wallow in self pity but when I come in sometimes late at night he doesn't even get up and make me a cup of tea and I get really really annoyed about this.I know you lot will think bloody hell he is only being a man but deep down I know it's because he simply can't be arsed.
There is a lot of resentment under the surface and if I try to talk to him about it he just twists it and says I am nagging without really finding out why I am feeling this way.In my book if you love someone you don't want them to feel upset or let down but he just doesn't get it.
He tends to play on his ds lite a lot of the time and because of family circumstances we don't get any time together on our own,we have never had a holiday and I think it is telling on us.My mother is quite domineering too and pokes her nose into our lives a great deal and he hates it,and he hates the fact he says that a lot of my anxiety has been caused by her in my childhood and maybe this fuels the fire. We don't have a fulfilling relationship in the bedroom dept either as we are both too tired a lot of the time and he has a dreadful snoring problem so sleeps in the other room a lot of the time anyway.I feel that our marriage is stalemate because of all this and when I think of how we were maybe 10 yrs ago there is no comparison.He used to live in Bristol and I was going through my divorce when he returned home,we bumped into each other and went out for a drink,(I have to add here that we have known each other since school and had a on off relationship for years before I got married to someone else and he moved away).I had missed him as we were once great mates and I loved him very much,when we went out again for old times sake it was wonderful,I realised my feelings for him hadn't changed and I still loved him immensley,when he kissed me again it was like being thirsty and suddenly having a long cool drink,that's all I can say.I really want to feel like that again about him but I don't know the way back from this negative vibe I find us in.I am sorry for the long post but my anxiety over these feelings is terrible and I cannot sleep tonight because of it.
There is a lot of resentment under the surface and if I try to talk to him about it he just twists it and says I am nagging without really finding out why I am feeling this way.In my book if you love someone you don't want them to feel upset or let down but he just doesn't get it.
He tends to play on his ds lite a lot of the time and because of family circumstances we don't get any time together on our own,we have never had a holiday and I think it is telling on us.My mother is quite domineering too and pokes her nose into our lives a great deal and he hates it,and he hates the fact he says that a lot of my anxiety has been caused by her in my childhood and maybe this fuels the fire. We don't have a fulfilling relationship in the bedroom dept either as we are both too tired a lot of the time and he has a dreadful snoring problem so sleeps in the other room a lot of the time anyway.I feel that our marriage is stalemate because of all this and when I think of how we were maybe 10 yrs ago there is no comparison.He used to live in Bristol and I was going through my divorce when he returned home,we bumped into each other and went out for a drink,(I have to add here that we have known each other since school and had a on off relationship for years before I got married to someone else and he moved away).I had missed him as we were once great mates and I loved him very much,when we went out again for old times sake it was wonderful,I realised my feelings for him hadn't changed and I still loved him immensley,when he kissed me again it was like being thirsty and suddenly having a long cool drink,that's all I can say.I really want to feel like that again about him but I don't know the way back from this negative vibe I find us in.I am sorry for the long post but my anxiety over these feelings is terrible and I cannot sleep tonight because of it.