RubyW
26-03-10, 15:52
Hi,
It's great to find a website with people who can empathize with what's going on in my head! I've not joined a forum like this before so I really hope I can meet people with similar problems to myself and that we can help each other get through them, or at least make some progress.
My anxiety issues are quite complex and have shifted from one thing to another over the course of the last 10 years. At one time I severely lacked in self-confidence and would panic about speaking in groups and meetings etc (while at the same time have the confidence to DJ in front of hundreds of people!) and also could not make short journeys on most types of public transport. I had insomnia for a couple of years and was on sleeping pills and would panic about not sleeping. At one point I believed I was never going to sleep again and think this was probably my lowest point. I was quite ready for the men in white coats to ship me off (which they never did, but still I think I had succumbed to the feeling that I had actually gone mad through panic).
Anyway, the years have gone by and I have made lots of progress. I now do lots of teaching and work with a very wide range of people. I have no problem with meetings and presenting (well, almost no problem!) and find myself, rather than feeling anxious, feeling irritated by things not working properly.. i work for myself you see and come across a lot of poor communicators and poor managers etc etc
Also, I am sleeping so much better now than I was and haven't had any sleeping pills for over 3 years. I still have sleepless nights before doing something I'm anxious about, but am learning simply to accept that even though it's very frustrating. The more I accept it the less it affects me.
However, there are still some things I am having real trouble with and they are significantly affecting my quality of life. That is, I find public transport very difficult and have avoided much of it for many years. At one point I couldn't even get a local bus but that seems to have got much better. I still haven't been on a plane for years and trains make me feel horrendous. I had a huge panic attack on a train years ago and i still have nightmares about it. I sat at Leeds train station for hours a few weeks ago waiting for a quiet train to take me home and this was very upsetting because this was the first time in years I had tried to tackle the train issue. If I was the only person on a plane I expect I could fly to Australia no problem, but my issue is other people. I hate it when things are packed. Especially trains because they can just get more and more crammed and there is seemingly no limit to how many people will get on. Then I panic that it will stop on the line and I can't get off. So I avoid...
I'm told travel problems are very common but I don't know anyone who has similar issues to me. It would really help to hear from some people who have experienced similar things and who want to chat. I am also looking to meet up with people for pro-active and supportive travel, in small steps. As another part of my problem is being on my own when I travel, so I hope that with small steps I can eventually break this and be like I was when I was younger and not care less about it.
Ruby
It's great to find a website with people who can empathize with what's going on in my head! I've not joined a forum like this before so I really hope I can meet people with similar problems to myself and that we can help each other get through them, or at least make some progress.
My anxiety issues are quite complex and have shifted from one thing to another over the course of the last 10 years. At one time I severely lacked in self-confidence and would panic about speaking in groups and meetings etc (while at the same time have the confidence to DJ in front of hundreds of people!) and also could not make short journeys on most types of public transport. I had insomnia for a couple of years and was on sleeping pills and would panic about not sleeping. At one point I believed I was never going to sleep again and think this was probably my lowest point. I was quite ready for the men in white coats to ship me off (which they never did, but still I think I had succumbed to the feeling that I had actually gone mad through panic).
Anyway, the years have gone by and I have made lots of progress. I now do lots of teaching and work with a very wide range of people. I have no problem with meetings and presenting (well, almost no problem!) and find myself, rather than feeling anxious, feeling irritated by things not working properly.. i work for myself you see and come across a lot of poor communicators and poor managers etc etc
Also, I am sleeping so much better now than I was and haven't had any sleeping pills for over 3 years. I still have sleepless nights before doing something I'm anxious about, but am learning simply to accept that even though it's very frustrating. The more I accept it the less it affects me.
However, there are still some things I am having real trouble with and they are significantly affecting my quality of life. That is, I find public transport very difficult and have avoided much of it for many years. At one point I couldn't even get a local bus but that seems to have got much better. I still haven't been on a plane for years and trains make me feel horrendous. I had a huge panic attack on a train years ago and i still have nightmares about it. I sat at Leeds train station for hours a few weeks ago waiting for a quiet train to take me home and this was very upsetting because this was the first time in years I had tried to tackle the train issue. If I was the only person on a plane I expect I could fly to Australia no problem, but my issue is other people. I hate it when things are packed. Especially trains because they can just get more and more crammed and there is seemingly no limit to how many people will get on. Then I panic that it will stop on the line and I can't get off. So I avoid...
I'm told travel problems are very common but I don't know anyone who has similar issues to me. It would really help to hear from some people who have experienced similar things and who want to chat. I am also looking to meet up with people for pro-active and supportive travel, in small steps. As another part of my problem is being on my own when I travel, so I hope that with small steps I can eventually break this and be like I was when I was younger and not care less about it.
Ruby