oldgraymare
27-03-10, 03:33
im just getting so frustrated with all this...
im so sick of sitting around day after day with this low hum of sick and anxiety permeating everything i do...so sick of waiting for the other shoe to fall
i actually panicked today because my ear started to ring...like...not freak out totally but physically my body went all messed up and my thoughts raced to vomiting cause of course im emetophobic and GOD FORBID i vomit...
like...WHO THE **** CARES IF I GET SICK! scuse my language...i mean honestly, people get sick, people die, it is a fact of life, it sucks, its painful but it doesnt last forever. why can i not just accept that? let this bull go! who cares if i vomit! its my bodies way of helping me not hurting me...
i cant believe im actually afraid of withdrawaling off of IMODIUM for cripes sake...just because i read somewhere on the all knowing all wise google that its an opiate? like...UHG
afraid to sleep cause i might have a nightmare, what am i, four years old?
i want my head back, i want my life back this is just getting so freaking boring...
im so sick of sitting around day after day with this low hum of sick and anxiety permeating everything i do...so sick of waiting for the other shoe to fall
i actually panicked today because my ear started to ring...like...not freak out totally but physically my body went all messed up and my thoughts raced to vomiting cause of course im emetophobic and GOD FORBID i vomit...
like...WHO THE **** CARES IF I GET SICK! scuse my language...i mean honestly, people get sick, people die, it is a fact of life, it sucks, its painful but it doesnt last forever. why can i not just accept that? let this bull go! who cares if i vomit! its my bodies way of helping me not hurting me...
i cant believe im actually afraid of withdrawaling off of IMODIUM for cripes sake...just because i read somewhere on the all knowing all wise google that its an opiate? like...UHG
afraid to sleep cause i might have a nightmare, what am i, four years old?
i want my head back, i want my life back this is just getting so freaking boring...