Emilia
27-03-10, 15:39
Hello
my name is Emilia, I am 23 years old. I live in a tiny apartment next to a place called swan-lake square (I am from sweden so english is not my first language...have mercy over my spelling).
For the last four years I have thought of nothing but anxiety, on the surface everything has appeared fairly normal but in my head I had no prospects for the future, no wishes to make friends, no self esteem, just a deep hatred for myself. About a year ago I couldn't take it anymore and got help, it has been difficult and it is taking longer than I thought, I feel proud of myself for asking for help but I am also so ashamed that I ever let myself believe I was sick and that I did not deserve to be happy, I feel like a coward for hiding behind an imaginary illness.
I am tired of thinking about anxiety all the time, I don't want it anymore - it doesn't deserve any attention or place in my thoughts - I just want to forget. I sometimes wonder if it made me who I am now, but I know that I am stronger than that. I just want it out of my life for good, I want to leave it behind and never look back.
I just want to live my life, and be happy.
Do you think that one can ever be free from anxiety disorder?
/emilia
my name is Emilia, I am 23 years old. I live in a tiny apartment next to a place called swan-lake square (I am from sweden so english is not my first language...have mercy over my spelling).
For the last four years I have thought of nothing but anxiety, on the surface everything has appeared fairly normal but in my head I had no prospects for the future, no wishes to make friends, no self esteem, just a deep hatred for myself. About a year ago I couldn't take it anymore and got help, it has been difficult and it is taking longer than I thought, I feel proud of myself for asking for help but I am also so ashamed that I ever let myself believe I was sick and that I did not deserve to be happy, I feel like a coward for hiding behind an imaginary illness.
I am tired of thinking about anxiety all the time, I don't want it anymore - it doesn't deserve any attention or place in my thoughts - I just want to forget. I sometimes wonder if it made me who I am now, but I know that I am stronger than that. I just want it out of my life for good, I want to leave it behind and never look back.
I just want to live my life, and be happy.
Do you think that one can ever be free from anxiety disorder?
/emilia