help me

[teegra]

waiting on meds to work in week 3 out of 6 weeks. Help me hang in there Im going crazy

[gypsywomen]

what meds are you taking

[Stars]

hey hun,
not sure what to say (new) you can do it bbe, use distractions like painting or someting or a nice long walk :)

S x

[teegra]

Hiya,
Zyprexa and cipramil.
God thanks for chatting to me.

[teegra]

It's so hard, I feel everyday is it going to be the day I feel better??????

[Stars]

hey teegra how old are you? wanting to find people to chat to

[Stars]

it will come soon hun promise you :) just keep holding on in there

[teegra]

Hiya Stars, I'm 30 how about you?

[Stars]

hey teegra. 17 :) a little baby, how do u feel at the moment?

[teegra]

Hi Stars,
I'm feeling very low and lonely and awfully bored most of the time. I just wish the day away so I can go to bed.

[teegra]

the days are so long and hard for me I hate it. Just watching the cloxk go by till bedtime then worrying about the next day.

[gypsywomen]

try to stay calm ,, do you like music

[teegra]

I do but can't seem to switch off and relax

[Stars]

hi teegra,
have you tried to phone up any of your friends and see if you can plan anything out together? have you had councilling before or gone to talk to someone who may be able to help. try not to wish the day away hun, you are so important and you dont want to waste it, try and do distraction paint someing, go for a walk, start up a new hoby :) i belive you can get through this and i will help :)
x x x x

[teegra]

will it get any better for me????

[teegra]

thanks stars, I need to believe I will get through it, with everyones help xx

[teegra]

how about you stars?? how are you feeling?

[gypsywomen]

i agree you can get through it ,, i was like you in fact didnt get out of bed for 3 months ,, shook .. cried ,kept my family away ,it was hell: hell ,, but then decided it had to change ,its been hard but i am not going to let it win ,stay strong you will make it believe me ,you will

[teegra]

thank you for your support

[Stars]

things will get better for you :) im ok thanks, i just try and not think about things or they will get to me, well like they have over the past coupple of days just breaking down at work into tears and getting the worst panic attacks ive ever had before but i feel horrible when i have them as i push everyone away as i dont want them near me, i have OCD and a eating disorder as well...ive had councilling for the past 4 years...im not on meds though i worry about being given them but i doubt i would ever take them :/ sorry enough about me
have you got anything planned for tomorrow?
S x

[gypsywomen]

just keep strong :)

[teegra]

gypsywoman, thanks for replying, it's good to know I'm not alone,that's how I feel.

[teegra]

stars sprry to hear that. Tomorrow I have a physcoligist app and an app with phys nurse so busy day ahead and 2 kids to jiggle about

[teegra]

I'm trying to be strong but some days its to hard.... but as each day goes by I feel I'm getting nearer the end of this , I have to be I have to believe that.

[gypsywomen]

http://www.blushbutter.com/gallery/albums/userpics/10276/IrishBlessing.jpglove maggie

[joannap]

hi teegra

we all know what you are going through on here. i am having a bad relapse of panic/anxiety at present but dread going to bed at night as i always feel worse in the morning! i am working through it myself (am on low dose of ad) because from my own experience - if i accept how i feel and keep busy it starts to gradually pass. Feelings of depression/anxiety tend to intensify the more we try to get rid of them/fight them etc - i did this for years because felt that to give in to them - i really would crack up but guess what?! the more you accept how you feel - the less adrenalin you add - the quicker the feelings pass.

This morning i had horrible intrusive thoughts about hurting my pets which i adore and so had big panic - lots of tears - which led to thoughts such as - oh god - i will have to go back to the gp/try another med, this is how i will feel forever etc etc - bascially i had the thoughts and panic there (this is called first fear that you is on an instinctive level) but can you see how i was adding to it (second fear) with my thoughts and so try to see that your thoughts such as - will i ever get better/when will my meds work/will they work etc are making you feel more and more scared/depressed. It is adding on the second fear that keeps us stuck in the circle - rather like thrashing a car battery that is trying to recharge - if we step out of the way and let our minds/bodies recover at their own pace then the first fear starts to heal itself and when we feel better - we can start to address the reasons for our anxiety/depression. I read somewhere that if we broke our leg we would expect it to take at least 6 wks to heal - we would not keep jumping on it and testing it and yet that is what we do with anxiety/depression!

i was very cross initially when i had counselling years ago because my counsellor said he could give me suggestions to help me but the cure lady within me - that i had to put in the work and yet he was right - i was guilty of wanting someone to wave a magic wand and make it all go away. Educating ourselves about anxiety/depression, accepting this is how we are at the moment is one of the first steps in recovery.

this morning - when i realised i was frightening myself further i went and did some painting in the spare room and just accepted how i felt (i know this is very difficult when you feel terrible but if i can do it - so can others!) and told myself it would pass - i then actually felt my mood lift within the hour - yes - i still had intrusive thoughts and felt anxious and have done all day but at a level i can cope with. I will have to repeat this tomorrow and for many more days until my confidence starts to build and then i will find the path to taking myself out of this setback.

The more and more you can do this - face how you feel, accept how you feel and understand how your own thoughts are adding to how you feel - the better you will feel but it is very gradual and you will have days where you see improvements and days where you take a step back. It may take 2-3 days of truly accepting how you feel at first before you start to see a difference but you need to genuinely try to accept - acknowledge how you feel and going about your life with it there. Again - let me stress i know how difficult this is - a few days ago i felt i could not stand ONE MORE MINUTE of how i felt - i was constantly panicked/bain racing etc but gradually realised i was still fighting it - still wanting it all to disappear overnight!

i was also worried about taking the acceptance approach - i remember thinking - why bother putting in the effort unless its going to make me better but fighting and worrying definitely doesn;t make us better lol!

another helpful thing i found was to actually study my waves of panic with interest - almost from a scientific basis - i did get to the stage where i almost wanted one to come! because although they feel horrible - panic is simply the chemical adrenalin coursing through us but of course - when they are not feared - they tend not to happen! I also find that when i focus on accepting the panic and let that subside - my scary thoughts subside too.

my suggestions are to make yourself exercise - it helps to lift mood and burn off nasty adrenalin and also to make sure you get plenty of rest/eat regularly and treat yourself - even if its just buying a magazine or watching crappy tv! do not worry about feeling relaxed - just do these things anyway and try not to have expectations of how you should feel - its the acceptance that is the key and when you start to see tiny improvements - even if for just moments each day - these are what increases your confidence and you start to improve. believe me - i have been through times where i felt i would not survive my anxiety/depression was that bad but i am still here - things do get better.

it would be lovely if we could wave a magic wand to make it all go away but recovery does depend on how we respond to the way that we feel as well as medication - you hang on in there and start taking your own steps to recovery xx:bighug1: