Fed up of living on "high alert"

[eternally optimistic]

I'm writing because I'm sick of being on "high alert" about everything.

I'm back on citalopram which I'm cross about because I so want to deal with everything without the meds but I know I cant at the moment.

I H A T E the cold chill that cuts through my chest or the constant, and I mean constant, tightness in my stomach.. I just want to pop the feeling so that it can be alieviated.

I have to attend a works meeting every week and that is getting so hard. I sit there trying every trick in the book to cope with the horrible, horrible, scary feelings that rush through my body. The coming and going of it all. Seconds of relaxing and then WOOOSH another pump of whatever going through me. It is so scary.

I am just waiting for the meds to start to kick in, please do so soon.

I've started to avoid doing things. You know, what, I even paused this morning to stop putting my washing out.

This is all toooo complex for me to cope with sometimes.

I only wish the annoyance and anger of it all could be converted to something positive. I hate the way I have been taken over by this "alien" of an illness.

Anyway, got that all of my chest, it has helped - LOL.:wacko:

[pugsport]

Hi Jackie
I'm new to this forum but not new to anxiety, been dealing with this for over 10 years and I'm completely with you on this one.

High alert is frustrating and annoying, it feels like you've got one foot on the brakes all the time and it prevents you from enjoying your life. I've been there in meetings where I've not heard a word that they are saying as I'm too concerned with what's going on in my body. The fact is that nothing is really going on in my body, it's my mind making things happen. If only I could believe this when it happens and it didn't spiral out of control.

I sympathise with you and if you find a way of believing yourself when you're telling yourself it's only anxiety, please let me know :)

Take care

Steve

[eternally optimistic]

Steve,,

Thanks for the reply.

Not that I wish how I feel on someone else, but it is good to hear someone really knows what you are about.

Thanks.

[Betsie]

Hi Jackie - I know exactly how you feel too - you're not alone! I sometimes think I'm the only one but who knows how many people feel like this? I have recently been put on citalopram for the second time in my life - in my fourth week now. Like you I resisted going back on it but finally things just got so bad I gave in. I find myself avoiding things too, or making myself do them and then just feeling so nervous it's ridiculous. A friend has invited me to the theatre at the end of May and I feel anxious about that already - how will we get there? What if I need the loo and we're on the train? That's one of my main problems, nerves makes me want to wee all the time! I usually deliberately dehydrate myself when I'm going on a car journey or something. I can understand how bad it must be for you to have to sit in a meeting every week. The minute I wake up in the morning I'm on Red Alert! Do think that the citalopram have already helped a bit though to here's hoping I can get better and you too x

[eternally optimistic]

Hi Betsie

Thanks for reply.

I can relate to your theatre situation, wouldnt it be nice to be proper excited.
That is something of the past for me. Always feels like there is a complication with everything I do. (not that everyone else knows that - thank god)

I'm hoping that within a couple of weeks I might be more "stable". Oh to be stable!! LOL.

Thanks again for reply and good luck with citalopram.

Feel free to keep in contact.

[chrislot]

pyroluria can make you feel like that. Look up the symptoms and they will either be uncanny to you or a heap of nonsense. I was always jumping out of my skin, or felt like I was. Now totally cured

[Angelai]

Chrislot - OMG!! I just googled pyroluria and can't believe I hadn't heard of it. I will be investigating further, thank you x

Jackie, you sound soooo like me. I too am s**k of it, completely and utterly. Nothing is simple, I can't look forward to anything because there will always be something to get anxious about.

Good luck with the meds, I hope they bring you some relief xxx