Help!!!

[Fender]

Hi all this is to introduce myself
My name is Fender
I don't actually suffer from panic attacks, depression, PTSD
I am more than a little naive about them and ashamed to say although i have live with this person for a long time i really don't know anything about any of these things and always use to say come on "just pull yourself together" and "don't matter honey we can get through this" without knowing what "this" was i am really writing for someone to give me some pointers as to where and how i can deal with this illness and how best i can help my DG. Her condition is getting worse and at present she refuses to take any meds. on account that from the onset they can actually induce panic attacks which i don't blame her because i know that she is petrified of getting
I am a major contributing factor to her illness i had an affair and have also told her that i was leaving she has stood by me through all of her own troubles, she has never in the yrs that we have been together done me wrong I am not proud of myself for doing the things that i have done I know I cant turn the clock back but i know right now she is in a world of hurt and pain and it is largely my fault and i want to help her.

[nomorepanic]

Hi Fender

We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.

Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.

[alias_kev]

Hi Fender. Well done for posting the other day. I feel sure the forum has plenty of information and advice. We see those around the afflicted rather too rarely I think.

The first things to recognise is that's its quite hard for a non sufferer to appreciate the depth that depression or anxiety can have, and how uncontrollable it often is. We can learn to cope better but that's like saying anyone can learn to control a skid.

If we consider anxiety at its worst then its a bit like this scenario: You have to give a talk at work tomorrow or you lose your job, you know little about the subject (just enough to make you look stupid), on the way there you lose your notes, on the stage your clothes have disappeared, and due to the cold you aren't even an impressive physical specimen! How do you feel? Or if that isn't you - Consider one of those banking people who's been made to assist a robbery when their family is taken hostage? How scared will they feel? For depression I suppose its the second example again only all their family get shot.... How sad will they feel?

I'm not writing that to be silly nor to minimise the experiences of people who really face those situations in the real world. It can be that bad. Luckily it can also be anywhere between non-existent and that bad, even for the same person.
Is it a particular medication that your other half (assuming I understand DG) is scared about or meds in general? A member might have experience of something less scary?

You also write about getting things badly wrong in the past. Well done for sharing that, its hard admitting such things - but crucial (I think) in a case like this. Have you expressed that so clearly to her? It might not be a factor, but there's a good chance it hasn't helped.

To understand more I'd recommend reading the info pages here on the site, off the left hand menu. You could also gain from reading the similar pages at AnxietyCare (http://www.anxietycare.org.uk/docs/anxiety.asp)
(I found their writeups first and very informative).

Come back when you have questions. A supportive partner & environment can make a huge difference.