Hey

[mcray1981]

Hey guys,

I'm a 28yr old bloke and IT worker from NI. Usually a very happy go lucky person.

I worked as a civil servant for 5 yrs and then left for the private sector - at the same time my gran died and bang - I found I couldnt cope with things. In the new job I had no support at all and a managing director who's standard response was fix it or your sacked (to all staff). When I took time off to attend the funeral his response was "Its only your ****in granny".

I managed to struggle on for nearly a year and have now got myself another job which is a lot better.

I find most of the time I'm ok but when change threatens (like this week) I find the old panic feelings kick in that I can't deal with this and life is just awful. I know in my head life is quite good for me but when the feelings hit like waves (particularly in the morning) all the good tends to disappear.

Anyway - thats my story so far.

Today hasnt started off as bad as usual so I'm hopeful that the panic is easing for a while again.

[diane07]

Hi mcray1981

We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.

Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.

[alias_kev]

Hi Mac, sorry no-one replied to this thread.

Sadly the anxiety monster can get us even when life is good to us. Its change and the unexpected that often do it, but lots of other things can too. Once compared noted with a local sufferer (far younger than me), their earlier years made a sad/tough/depressing book whereas mine had been idyllic by comparison. Middle age hadn't been so kind to me emotionally, but it really showed how we can all end up in the same place emotionally after very different journeys.

The middle job sounds very crap, and even more of a culture shock after the civil service if the popular image of it is true. Like going to the arctic after a warm bath! Saying that about your Nan, when for all he knew she might have been the one that brought you up... None of that will have helped your mind or emotions. Sometimes as well if its the first bereavement in someones life that redefines (or just undermines) a lot of things we carry deep in our heads. Suddenly life isn't certain or infinite.
So you got two doses of insecurity at once.

Glad to hear the newest job is better. That should help overall I would think. Do post if you have more to share. Kev.