It never ends..

[ConAnima]

Well I just wanted to throw this out there and see if anyone can relate to this..

I have always to a degree worried about my health. It used to come in waves but the important thing is I had just as much tme were I was free from it.
Since about 2005 I have had it permanentley.. It just never ends.
I wake up in the morning I feel my pulse I wonder about my health. It carries on all day and I rarely think about anything else.
I always seem to feel sick and tired it is hell.
I have tried counselling, medication (Citalopram) I just can't seem to shake these fears and I don't know why.
It really has ruined my life.
I often still do things that I dread but I can never look back on my experiences because I spend the time worrying and worrying..
I'm really lost. I have great friends and great family (i'm single, no kids)
there really is nothing for me to feel like this???
I'm sorry to go on I guess i'm just hoping i'm not alone and can figure this out.

I even dream about feeling ill I really can't escape it ever... :(
Oh I hope it leaves me some day I want to live.
I want to be in the world and enjoy life. I hate feeling this way.

Thanks for listening x

[Typer]

Never give up on the idea that you can feel better. I know you have tried things, but keep looking for the right thing.

Have you read Clare Weeks book. It is full of hope. You can buy it here in the shop. If you have not read it, order it today.

[ConAnima]

I don't know of that book no but I will check it out thank you : )

[Meg37]

I feel like this all the time. I have always been obseesed with illness and I cant envisage a time I won't be. In my head I have a mental checklist of all the things I now have to put up with. Rationally, I can see that its silly, I still function properly, I go out and do things, I have friends etc, but the reality is my life is now lived within the limits I set with regards to all these problems I believe I have. No one would know this though cos I do a good job of hiding it. So much so I dont think anybody has ever really known me, only perhaps my husband because he sees everything and is the most incredibly supportive person, maybe to indulgent sometimes when he should just tell me to shake it off!
But despite all of this, I still believe things will get better. Sites like this show me that I am not alone and there are thousands of us with the same anxieties and fears and that makes me feel hopeful. Also, after reading lots and lots of posts, no one here seems to have suffered any major medical emergencies, which also makes me feel better if you see what I mean because I can begin to rationalise that I might not be dying.
I just try and remind myself that there is always someone, somewhere worse off than me, granted this doesnt always help! But recently Im trying more to put my problems and worries into perspective, easier said than done!
I hope you start to feel better soon, worrying about your health is awful and I wish I could say something to you to make it better. Sorry for hijacking your thread!!

[saz2121]

I know how you feel. My depression/anxiety/worry comes and goes, like waves.

It can last a couple of days, to weeks and weeks, depending on my surroundings and whats going on with my body. When i feel ill, the worse it gets and it takes more time mentally to get over it than physically.

I can relate to how you feel about looking back on experiences. I went on holiday last year (3 weeks after 6 weeks of Salmonella poisoning) and i coasted through the whole lot. Only way i remember is thru pictures. This is not life!! I went swimming with dolphins and can't remember much.

I'm getting married in Orlando, Fl in 4 months. There are a few people coming over and the one thing i dont want it to just 'exist' thru my wedding day and our honeymoon. I want to LIVE it!

Sometimes i can't even muster the energy to look forward to things because sometimes my HA gets me so low i could curl into a ball in a cupboard somewhere.

I have had a few sessions of councelling but it didn't tell me anything more than i already knew (i read a lot of CBT and 'being happy' books). They do help! For me anyway, puts things into perspective.

I refused to take medication from the doc. Are you on meds?

I look back on years i've worried (and i'm only 24) having depression/ HA since i was 9 and think 'what's up with this!!?? Start MAKING yourself happy!! If the worst happens, the worst happens!! (And it probably won't!!) We're given a short time on this planet and a lot of us need to really push and retrain our gray-matter!!'

Easier said than done i know, i tell myself this daily....

:)

xx