constant nightmares

[ASH65]

I get constant nightmares about being raped as a boy.they never stop.
sometimes they involve the loss of my mother,something I feared greatly as a boy.last nights was a scene of my mother dying in my arms,needy,tired from seemingly a thousand years of worry.i wake from these unable to even make a cup of tea.desperate to go back to sleep and hope for peace,but i have to get the children to school and nursery,then to work.if work is quiet the dreams haunt me all day.its like however much i fight on and keep going the message is always the same.
"WE WILL NEVER LET YOU FORGET WHAT WAS DONE TO YOU AND WHAT YOU SAW DONE TO OTHERS" its soul destroying and exhausting.

[Downsinthenorth]

I think you are incredibly brave, and I hope you are getting all the support you deserve. :hugs:

[Maj]

I agree. You definitely do need support to help you through this difficult time. These nightmares must be awful and must be a result of your inner conflict. I really hope you get some inner peace soon and put these awful memories behind you.
Myra x

[annette1]

I'm sorry to hear about your nightmares & fully understand you thoughts on them but please keep fighting, one day they will be less frightening & you will no longer feel that your abuser is still in control.

Throughout the last 4yrs I have had repeated nightmares not all the same but on the same theme of my ex husband assaulting me. As I work through my trauma they are getting less & constantly changing e.g my ex is now an animal in them. At the time they are very frightening but through therapy I have learnt to understand that they are only my sub conscious processing 'stuck' material from my trauma & that the more it these changes happen the more recovery I am making.

Do you have a therapist? Working through your trauma with a ptsd specialist, although very painful to do will help you to recover. I found talking about the nightmares with mine or writing them down helped me to understand & be less disturbed by them. When I wake with one I find the best thing to do is to get out of bed & walk around, if the trigger is really bad I go out in the garden, the cold air helps to ground me.

I hope you find some relief soon they really are horrible & so unfair that we have to go through these reminders 24 hrs a day.

Stay strong & keep fighting things will improve over time.
Annette

[Antipodes]

Hi Ash,

I take it you suspect or have been informed your issue is Posttraumatic Stress Disorder? The circumstance suggests this is happening and I am sorry.

My issue was a guy held a g*n to my head with serious intent to do harm and I thought my demise was imminent. The image of that event was burned onto the inside of my eyelids and it was awful.

Help is available. You will be offered various chemotherapy and therapeutic techniques for symptomatic relief so you can work through this, but it will take time.

What worked for me was a way for mind and body to "accept" what had happened at a deep level. For reason I don't understand they (body and mind) seem to cancel eachother out or come to agreement / acceptance that what happened, happened. And then it went away. I did a post about this in natural therapies.

I hope your personal journey to wellness is a swift as practicable.

[ASH65]

thank you so much for your kind wishes,yes i have been diagnosed with ptsd and i still have contact with my long-time psychologist.
thank you all very much ASH:flowers: