New member seeking advice...

[Katie em]

Hello

I'm new to all this - I hope you good people can help me alittle?

Here is my story

When I was 8 my mum died of bowel cancer. (I’m now 37)
Dad met and married someone else within weeks.
Mum was never mentioned after that.
My Brother developed Bowel cancer 3 years ago – which we have found out was inherited from my mum (I have been tested and do not have this problem)
My father and step mum did not behave very well during my brother treatment and my brother and I no long see them.
I have been in a loving relationship with a loving lady my partner for 16 years and I’m very happy.My Partners father died of bowel cancer 5 years ago it was very sudden – He died at home very weak and thin.
My brother is doing well now – but has had a major life change and much treatment and surgery.
My problem is Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD) I think. It’s starting to get silly and if I can think of a worst case scenario – I WILL! ( I could write block buster films with my imagination!)
I feel I have a lot of resentment and anger towards my father and my past. I try to be a good daughter but it’s very hard now and I feel guilty.

I find it hard to cope with my head - I get very worried about normal stuff. I get obsessed which brings me down and depressed.

I have not had help or pills - i'd like to see if I can get over it - or control it myself. I'm a strong person when i want to be and hope i can apply that to my stupid head.

I think my problems of worry started when Mum got ill and then get triggered when ever i'm faced with a problem. Thing is life is full of problems and so i want to be able to cope abit better.

What advice can you offer?

thank you for your time and reading my story

Katie

[pink17]

Hiya katie,no wonder you are feeling like this with what you have gone through,have you tried having councelling?

[Katie em]

Hi Pink

I haven't tried councilling yet - i'm hoping i can improve on my own.

Also its expensive to talk to someone about all this and hard face to face...

Katie

[pink17]

I was suffering with depression and anxiety and im on medication now,i have improved so much with them,not planning been on them long.i know you say you want to try and get better before medication but maybe it would help you for a bit,mayb you should talk to your gp.

[Katie em]

I feel like my story is the same as everyones - everyone has stuff to deal with. Why should i not be able to cope. i sort of feel stupid (silly) going to GP for help.

Do you understand?

I should be able to deal with all this??

[pink17]

I totally understand....i felt exctly the same thinking i should b able to get through this by myself,but i was making myself worse and knew i really needed help,and im more or less back to my old self!I think sometimes when you have gone through a bad time u have not control over it and sometimes you really do need help!

[Alicat]

Hi there,

I'm not surprised you're struggling. :hugs: The dr shouldn't make you feel silly for going and if they do, they shouldn't be a dr and you can see someone else.

There's no reason you should be able to cope with this on your own. We all need a little help now and again and sometimes just talking about things can make you feel better. Could you ask your GP to refer you for counselling.

I hope things improve for you soon xx