overwhelmed and unsure

[xxxvickyxxx]

i suffered my 1st panic attack on sunday afternoon after recieving a suicide text from my mum. She lives 50 miles away and i knew i coukdnt get to her. The police did though and she is now fine. However i had 4 panic attacks yesterday morning- the 4t ended in my passing out in the docs waiting room. They gave me beta blockers and sent me home. I had another attack at 4am this morning and i am constantly worried now that i may have another and pass out and die. I dont know if i should stay away from my mum_ she may be the person that triggers it again- she text me today to tell me she is ok and that she is sorry. I dont feel as though i am actually here right now- its like i am floating. My head is spinning inside and i feel anythung could set me off again. I need to collect my 4 children from school in an hour and i am worried that i will pass out on the way in the gates. I found my dad last october- in his house with his wrist slit and prescription drugs overdose- he survived. My brother has attempted suicide twice since then also. I was so upset, angry etc after those 2- that and i am shicked that my mum has now done the same after seeing the damage they done to us and the rest of our family. should i respond to my mums texts- i feel guilty that i havent but i am scared that i have another attack- help !!!
Im so overwhelmed by this_ i have never experienced these feelings before and te strangest thing is i cant cry and i am normally so emotional?

[lizzie29]

Hi

Well firstly, I'm not surprised you're having panic attacks after what you've experienced. Anyone would be a wreck if their mum text them that, so I think it's to be expected what you're experiencing.
Secondly, you won't die from a panic attack. I appreciate you passed out and I'm sure that was horrible for you, but that was probably due to hyperventilating (shallow, quick breathing). There are lots of techniques to help you cope with panic attacks, have a look in the section on here.
It's important that you try not to let them stop you doing stuff - I and many others have done, and it's then harder to go back and do things. You need to force yourself to go to the school (I realise you've probably gone by now tho!) and try your best to keep doing as you always do. They're horrible things, but they can't really harm you. Did the doctor say anything about your mum and what you could do to help? Is she on medication and receiving counselling? I hope so. I think maybe you should tell your mum how you've been feeling about all this. I don't know why she attempted suicide, but she needs professional help, and you can't give her that. Try to persuade to get it, if she isn't already.
You need to look after yourself - perhaps tonight you could have a nice relaxing bath, and watch a good TV programme or read. Not being able to cry is probably part of the shock, I'm sure it'll come when it needs to.

Take care, and I hope this has been of some reassurance. :)