Self-doubt thoughts hindering talking.

[Rory23]

I dont know if anyone else gets this. I panicked whilst interviewing for a job about 4 months ago. Ive been through abit of a rollercoaster ride since then, with being tired all the time, not eating, not enjoying my life, more panicks when im talking to people. When i say panick i more mean about 5/6 seconds of blankness, feeling dreadful, weak, tired, head begins to spin. That is enough to drain me completey. Ive had about 20 of these in the last 4 months.

I went for about 2 months of methodically thinking everything that i was going to say through in my head. I wouldnt trust myself to talk. This was especially true in stressful situations at work.

Recently ivbe gotten alot better, and started to be more positive. But i still get this rising self-doubt and panics where i get flashes into my mind that i will forget what im saying. This now happens more when im tired/stressed, but i would like to turn off those negative thoughts. Sometimes I can, but doing anything like a long winded joke or a story seems impossibe. I thought i had beaten this, and then i get negative thoughts flashing into my brain whilst talking.

I have learnt to some extent to control these, but tonight i had a scare again.

[Rory23]

What i didnt add, is that i feel like im trusting myself to talk more, and then i go and panick again recently. So the incentive is there to not trust myself to make sure i dont panick, even though ultimately i have to trust myself in order to beat it. So im in a catch 22 i think.