Worry about mental/physical illness & meds

[superjonboy]

MY Health Anxiety has some favourite worries such as: Brain Tumor, Hemorraghe, MS but also Schizophrenia, Psychosis, Mania, Bipolar.

I just don't know how to stop it. I know i'm torturing myself.

Today, for instance, I woke up o.k'ish, took my medication (100mg sertraline) then loaded up the car to take a few bits to the new house. I'm moving out o my parents, where my wife and I have been stayin till we found somewhere.

So today it all started in the new house. I suddenly felt 'Weird'. Straight away I'm having thoughts like - "This could be the start of psychosis." "MAybe the medication is starting to cause serious side effects like mania"

I went back to my parents house and went back to bed for an hour as I was feeling really fatigued. I woke up with a horrible tingly, butterfly feeling in my chest. So now i'm onto - "Heart Attack?" "Something wrong with my breathing?" "Maybe it's the medication causing side fects and it will stop me breathing"

We took some more stuff through to the house and I had something to eat and the feelings in my chest subsided. I did get some palpitation type thing though where i got a pain in my chest and it elt like i couldn't breathe. Again the thoughts were the same.

I feel so ill. I feel at deaths door or at the edge of sanity. I'm expecting the worse all the time. I'v recently been put on Sertraline 100mg. I was on Citalopram which had worked in the past but had become inaffective. I tapered off Citalopram then had 3 days break then started 50m Sertraline for 2 week then 100mg. I think i'm on my 5th day of 100mg now so its almost 3 weeks. I'm definatly no better yet and probably worse. Iknow they take 5 - 8 weeks though. I'm just really worried they will cause me harm and thats why I'm feeling so rough now. Like they miht be slowly killing me or sending me into a psyhosis e.t.c

I just don't know what to do. How can I escape this. I'm supposed to be moving friday/saturday but all I keep thinking is that something terrible will happen like it will push me over the edge into serious mental illness or i'll just collapse.

John x

[Scared Pixie]

Hey Jon, it's not good to feel like that all the time is it? I hate it too, I feel just like you. I worry I have a brain tumar or it's a heart problem or tummy problem or my kidney doesn't work etc etc Now I am worrying about all the x-rays I have had, scared they might cause cancer later in life. Life can be so hard can't it, but be reasured you are heathly it's just worry and stress that causes our bodies to act the way they do. but do you find that when your heart problems goes you have other problem, ie head or tummy and I don't think we can get that many problems lol panic and stress etc can leave our bodies tired and act weird, I get so many weird sensations all throug stress, we are our onw worst enermy aren't we. You will be fine, good luck with your move. xx

[smpomeroy]

Jon,
Also be aware that moving house is up there some of the most stressfull events in peoples lives so on top of the fact that you ahve changed meds and the news ones will barely be working yet you are also going through an externally stressfull time so its important to rtecognise that stress factors are coming from outside as well as from your internasl self talk and health anxiety.

Thinking you are man does not a mad man make I can promise becasue if you were mad your capability of recognising it would be rather more diminished. Rather your bosy and mind is reacting to the stress put upon it from various sources. Try to visualise how nice it will be when you ar ein your new place and all settled rather than focusing your mind on the difficult things you ahve to do to get to that position - keep your main eye on the end goal and the lumps and bumps on the way there will be easier to overcome. Above all dont expect too much of yourself - if not everything gets done then so what?? Do it next week or next weekend - make sure you get the essentials done first and the finishing touches can come later. I know you feel like you ahve a huge mountain to climb and that your body or mind may let you down in the process but it wont so stay strong and remember how many of us out there experience exactly the same thing as you and try to imagine what you would say to us to help us then give yourself the same advice.

best of luck

Suz

[smpomeroy]

gosh sorry aobut the spelling/typos in that....

thinking you are mad not man!!

[superjonboy]

Thanks for your replies everyone.

I'm just having a really bad time at the minute.

Really hope this sertraline will work.

John x

[Typer]

Maybe you will need to be on 150mg before you can safely say you notice the sertraline helping. Its a good drug to help with the anx.

Moving will have put extra stress into the mix as said. Be kind to yourself tonight. Have a relax in front of the TV and chill as best you can. Take care and lets hope things get better soon

[superjonboy]

I woke up this morning feeling okish again.

Took some more stuff over to the house and went to Asda. Im feeling so tired though with only doing the smallest things.

I went up/down stairs a few times and my heart was nearly beating out of my chest. Now i'm exhausted. I know there's a bug going round which I probably have but I can't believe how tired im getting through the littlest effort.

REally worried about this afternoon as we're borrowing a van and I can totally see myself collapsing.

John x