Hospital

[onceagain]

Hi everyone

not long back from the hospital and so thought I had to come on and update you... last couple of days been a bit of a poo to be honest.

I've headed to work but my mind not really been able to focus on too much at all and ended work today on a one to one which was a bit of a negative ... which yes upset me but I will try and take on board whats what. Left work feeling a bit vunerable, straight into an uneasy situation (personal life) and then headed off to the hospital.


I met the therapist and he has decided that I will benefit from the help. He dos not feel that straight forward CBT is enough and is going with mentalization based therapy with CBT if I understood correctly... he says that when talking I seem to try and skip something in my thought process and leap from one thought to another... and he wants to find the root of that thought..if I understood correctly.

I was crying like a baby ... think what with the stuff I've been harbouring, a poor one to one result and then bad feeling it all came out.. realised how little I understand why I'm doing things and yet how much I do realise.. really weird but do you know what I am just glad that my therapy is finally coming along. It seems it is alot to do with the links of the past and also what is going on currently and I just want help I really want help, I'm prepared to put the work in if it helps me find me Sharon again now just need to find the strength to get through 2 more months... so praying you will all be here for me... gonna need you..

He has made me rethink alot my mind whizzing on my way home still is really.. he spoke about death and how I looked at it...

He hasn't told me to keep a diary or anything just that I will see him which he thinks will be interesting him being a man..which is true, it will be the first man other than my doctor that I have opened up to and it will be a normal discussion not a personal relationship which may do me the world of good.

Anyway i need coffee and to email some special peeps who have supported me through some really crap times x

[NoPoet]

Hi! Congratulations on going through this, it must have been tough, but hell - you got through one of the toughest times you'll have in therapy: the first day.

The "jump" in your thoughts sounds significant. Sounds like there is something that you've buried and is too painful to touch for the moment. That's fine, there is no urgent need to dig it up, recovery is not and will never be a race.

Work with your therapist to deal with what you're going through now. Forget what might lay hidden. You will know when it's time to deal with that stuff. Concentrate on getting your strength back so that you will be capable of facing the hidden stuff when it's time and not before it's time!

You can PM me if you need anything. I think you have taken a serious step forward. If I can help you, I will.

[onceagain]

Thanks PP

It means a lot honestly don't be surprised if I take up your offer x

[andrea thompson]

wey hey... woop woop.... zippedee doo dahhh!!!

you going to be fine mrs... i for one will be there if you need me... sure everyone will!!!

love andrea x x

[sb001f8994]

brilliant news sharon, we'll all be here for you, whenever you want us xxxx

[suzy-sue]

Well done Sharon :hugs:It must have been really hard for you ,....You are on your way now hun and although it may seem daunting at times ,You will get to root of the way you feel like you do ,and find you are stronger and better than you were before ..Good luck .You will get plenty of support here ..Hugs Sue xx:bighug1:

[onceagain]

Thank you to all of you... it means so much ..

I just want me back ... so very much x

[loulabella]

You will be back one day hunni. I'm in your boat at the moment and some kind words on here have shown me that the me from before is there, I just can't see her for the anxiety but the mist will clear. One mist particle at a time ;)