Petrified by change

[mcray1981]

Hey folks,

I know what my trigger is - but I can't avoid it. Everything changes - work, the world, my family, my friends and it petrifies me. I dont know why - maybe its because it reminds me that time is passing. I just can't deal with change and the fear of the unknown that brings with it.

My dad died at 14 so I associate change with terrible things happening. I'm ok if the change feels good but if there is any risk with it then it petrifies me and the anxiety and depression kick in.

I dont want to avoid it - I want to beat it!! Just at the moment I have a possible work change hanging over me that I just can't see as a good thing.

This has really knocked me for six and as a result I've upped my anti-ds. I'm already attending counselling but its only an hour a week. I dont know what else to do?

I'm really struggling with this.

Mc.

[Maj]

Well I wouldn't be too hard on yourself because lots of people hate change. Some changes make me apprehensive, but that's a part of my personality. Losing your dad at such a young age would be devastating and as you say it will have left a lasting effect on you. But you need to try and accept and convince yourself that not all changes are bad. Sometimes change can be a good thing because we can often get into a rut. I think if you can get your anxiety under control then you'd be able to cope with change more and take it in your stride. When we are calmer then nothing worries or winds us up so much. Look after yourself physically and mentally, have outside interests and any change won't be so all-consuming. Everyone will be a bit apprehensive about change so you are not alone. Try and think of the positive of a change, because there must be some. You've got through it all up till now so don't despair!! Don't underestimate yourself:hugs:
Myra x

[mcray1981]

I'm just soo scared. Freaking myself out with this - this change in work is one I can't see any positives in and am worried sick.

I can't be as pragmatic as "if it doesnt work out I will find a new one"

I only feel safe when I'm with my wife and just want to be with her all the time.

I am the sort of person who is afraid to go to London in case I come back to find people gone or I die alone. A big coward.

Is this the depression talking??