My depersonalization/memory loss panics

[phil06]

I've been feeling awful lately from these. I feel tension at each end of my head and feel like I'm looking in on myself. Sometimes I feel better but not felt totally right. I can get so bad I have to lie down with it thinking my heart will just stop. I could be at the toilet and have a sudden loss of memory and my surroundings feel weird. I'm worried to go out as my worries are I have a bug that my family has. Light seems all funny to me too, I just feel really weird and funny. This is the first long dose of depersonalisation I've suffered in about a year. It's that bad I wake up feeling it. I felt so tired last night I just had to go offline. My eyes feel heavy, dull, like bags.

I've decided to write down how I feel day to day to help look back on. Does this definitely meet the depersonalisation thing? anybody else suffering this? :shrug:

[beskiboo]

For me it does. It feels like I'm too introverted at that moment, like everything too real yet I'm separate from it, if that makes sense? Then I always think that somethings massively wrong with me.
It passes eventually, but at that moment it feels like it never will.
Not sure if that's what you meant, but it sounds like some of the stuff I feel!
Hope you're ok today :)

[phil06]

I've been terrible the last few days panic attacks can last all day almost.

Feel I can't breathe..was out last night on a night out my head and ears hurt. I just feel all weird still was fine most of the night apart from a few times I had to go to the toilet. Feel I can't breathe or my heart will stop. I've also had numb hands and spent most of today with depersonalisation, fear my heart will stop, feeling all weird.

What's wrong with me? These kind of panics started again about 3/4 weeks ago and were brief now there almost lasting hours and continuous days.

Is this normal? :weep:

[chrislot]

Look up pyroluria. It can lead to panic attacks.

[beskiboo]

I find that after a night out I feel it tons, think hangovers just do not agree with me! It's totally normal what you're feeling, at least for me! It's just a type of panic attack. I've had to stop drinking as much, since that makes me feel like that more often, as well as drinking caffine! So maybe if you kept a note of when they happen you can see if there's any triggers at all? There might not be, but it's worth a try!

[phil06]

I hate this depersonalisation thing. For the last two days I've been awful with it. When I'm out my symptoms are:

*Sweating up and uneasy
*Memory bips and loss
*My surroundings are surreal
*If I think about it my memory just goes whoosh and I have to get my head back
*Weak/dry mouth
*Everything can seem weird or take ages to feel normal again
*Feel there's something wrong with me
*Thoughts of dying or why am I on this earth or who am i?
*Depressed
*Breathing problems, gasping for air
*Lights go funny, feel faint like, floating, voices distorted for a few mins

Is this normal with DP? I feel these horrible anxiety attacks get worse every time. Really freaks me out

[CS1]

Yeah the symptoms you have described are my understanding of depersonalisation/ derealisation. The feelings of things being unreal, dont recognise your surroundings etc questioning everything like where am I, why am i here etc

This is the most disturbing symptom in my opinion. Really feels like you are going to lose it !

I spoke to a councillor how suggested doing the breathing techniques when you experience DP/DR . kind of helps.

[RichW]

Hi Phil

I experienced my first panic attack at the age of 18. What followed was a 3 month-long bout of depersonalisation, although I didn't realise what it was at the time. The feeling of things being surreal and appearing almost fake is known as derealisation - this tends to go hand-in-hand with depersonalisation which is that feeling of being disconnected, not with it and the questioning who am I?

Since then I have suffered another 2 bouts of DP/ DR along with anxiety and panic attacks. My panic attacks all seemed to last virtually the whole day, experiencing sweaty palms and soles of the feet, blurred vision, palpitations, dizziness, feeling like I'm going to pass out or die etc etc. I think it's those of us who tend to suffer these sustained panic attacks, who are more prone to DP/ DR. I am now 30 years old and with this last bout, I opted to go for medical treatment i.e. SSRI's. Almost 2 months in, I'm starting to feel much better than I did, I think the meds help you to focus more and they seem to stop the constant mind chatter. I still experience the DP and DR but almost to a lesser extent. The calmer you are, the less you'll feel it and eventually it will go completely. As others have said, the best thing you can do is to keep busy and distracted, this helps me immensely.

Hang in there


Rich

[NeverRelaxed]

Phil, I get all of this too!

Just had a memory blip a moment ago..I waslying in my bed with my eyes closed thinking about somehting or other and BAM! I couldnt remember of if id had my eyes opened or closed for the last few minutes haha! weird.

[phil06]

Looking for a bit more advice my current symptoms of this are:

Feeling disconnected from reality
People and familiar things seem strange
I feel like doing less
Each end of my head is tense like a slight tension headache
Lights seem weird
I can get a sudden rush
Worried if ur spaced out it could be any illness?
I feel switched off, body seems weird for split seconds.
I've had three days feeling uncertain, weird in my surroundings
Spaced out
Distant
Question my existence
Fear dying more
Extreme worry about this will cause me insomnia, major panic attacks.
My memory is more vague
I've had this before but never had full days feeling weird.
If you feel depersonalization for a full day solid is that bad? in the past it's been "brief" spells.
Laggy/Ill
Mind going blank for a few seconds, intense rush of fear
To anybody who's suffered it like my symptoms above what made it go away, how long did it take, did it come back? and did it stay with you forever?
Feeling not me..something is up with me?
Doing regular things and still feel weird but no panic cos im busy?
When I'm out worried I'll go crazy, won't find my way home
Feel this blanket won't lift from me..intense anxiety

So far reassure has not totally relaxed this issue for me.

How normal is all this? How do i cope with this?

[phil06]

I feel little end to these DP feelings at the moment..sometimes It backs right off and it's just lingering derealization then I get days maybe where I've had a quiet week, sat in more I feel dysfunctional my mind feels somewhere else..I do less, I just sit and worry, lose interest in everything.

This is what I find hard to cope with feeling sluggish my life seems a small box at the moment I can see everybody else getting on with life but my life is limited to what I can do...and going out everything seems massive with these DP feelings..

I had it a few years ago it was mild I got on with my day but like now I get days where nothing is right...even in my last job I felt I was walking around but felt totally disconnected to my brain like I was a zombie...how can this be anxiety? :unsure: