What can I do?

[PokerFace]

Sorry if this is a long post i just don't know where else to turn right now.

Ok, so I've suffered from anxiety and panic attacks since I was about 15. It was always controlable for me and didn't affect my life too much as I'd go months and months with out one and they were pretty mild. I'd gone about 2 years without having one until recently and it's become unbearable.

I was fine until 3 weeks ago when out of no where I had 2 muscle spasms in my chest that felt like I was having a heart attack, there was pain all down my left arm, my chest, my jaw. I was so convinced I was about to die I called an ambulance and they did 2 ECGs on me and said they couldn't see anything wrong with my heart but insisted I go to the hosptial as I was still complaining of chest pain. I had another ECG at the hosptial and the doctor told me my heart was fine it was just beating a little too fast and I'd most likely had a muscle spasm. I got home from the hosptial and i just couldnt stop the pain in my chest the rushes you get from anxiety, my heart pounding and not being able to breathe. I havn't felt ok since theres just always this sense of impending doom like I'm about to die and it just takes one little twinge in my chest or arm and it sets me off into full blown anxiety attack. My heart races, my chest hurts, I get hot, I feel sick, I can't breathe, I can't think straight and it takes all of my strength just to calm myself down.

It's gotten so bad that i refuse to be left alone. I'm 20 years old and I can't be in the house alone or I just break into an anixety attack. I want to cry all the time I need constant reassurance from my mum and sister who have told me I'm not going to die and if I was, 3 ECGs would have picked something up if there was something really wrong with my heart it's just pure panic.

I can't see a way out at the moment I should be out with my friends having fun having a life you're only young once but I can't even face walking to the shop which is less than 10 minutes away. I can't see a way out every day is just getting through the next hour it's not how I want to live my life. I don't want to go on medication as I think it will just mask the problem and not solve it.

I'm so scared all the time I was just wondering if anyone else out there has experienced anything like this? I feel alone I need someone who knows what I'm going through to talk to maybe it will help me.

Sorry for the long post again. Thanks in advance for any help.

[Geoff2301]

Hi Emma
If its any consolation, I've experienced similar excruciating chest pains 2-3 times over the last 30 years...... I'm still here!! Felt like a knife going in my chest every time I took a deep breath and the pains lasted quite a few days...... turned out to be some sort of muscular strain/spasm. Last time, few months back, thought I'd better just get a quick checkup at the gp........ he got me to twist at certain angles and the pain would appear when I moved in a certain way...... also listened to the old ticker and said all ok. Remember, 20 years olds don't get heart trouble...... thats for many many years time if you're unlucky!!
Geoff

[annick26]

Hi,

Well if it's any consolation I am going through the same thing. I am terrified somthing is wrong with my heart, I have also done 2 ekg and and ultrasound and they came back normal. I went and saw my doctor they prescribed me some medication and it seemed to work. I know it's not easy and it's really scary but you will be okay.

[jill]

Hi hun :D:hugs:

:welcome: to the site.

Ohh hun, you have come to the right place, there are lots of nice people hear who know what you are going through and they will help and support you.

I do know what your going through, its sooo dame hard when panic hits for what seems out of the blue and you just get stuck on alert 24/7 and in fear 24/7 and it just want leave you alone and the panic comes in waves. My heart goes out to you :hugs:

This happend to me a good while ago now ( don't like to put times on things) I have never felt fear like it or felt fear like that ever since. I am panic, high anxiety free because of this great site, it helped me soo dame much it was a godsend to me.

Please take time to read through the site, first steps, how to cope, this is on the left hand side of the screen, there is lots of great info behind the forums, all on the left hand side as well as great advice on all threads.

YOU CAN get better hun, please try and believe this your beleaf alone will help you move forward.

I know its dame hard for you right now, but don't be to hard on yourself, right now, present moment in time, this is what you have, panic, anxiety please try and except this, when we learn to except this helps us move on a little, but if we keep beating ourselve up about what we cannot do right now, this feeds the anxiety hun, please don't do this to yourself.

In time, with alot of hard work, time and the right support , YOU CAN get better.

Hunny, you are feeling scared all the time because your protective mode has been triggered, for what seems like no reason, its not always easy knowing why this mode triggers, its a fails alarm, at the moment your mind thinks its in danger, so round every corner with every sound you hear or see you feel your in danger, HUN ohhh please try and start to reasure self, to shut down this mode we need to learn reasuring statments.

I know at this present moment in time you are going to find it strange when I say, ALLOW yourself this fear, let it be there, BUT, use reasuring statments, eg, "My panic, anxiety mode has been triggered, its ok, I will be fine, this will pass, its ok feeling like this because I don't understand it yet, BUT I WILL in time and in time it will pass" any statment that can reasure yourself that there is NO danger.

This is hard to do when acute, because the fear stays and you start to think, ohh whats the point, but this takes time hunny, please keep trying to reasure yourself, it does help you move on a little.

As I said hun, please don't be to hard on yourself if you can't go out or stay on your own, YOU WILL be able to do this in time. After awhile you can start to do small steps, little things at a time, by doing things in small steps and reasuring yourself all will be fine, this starts to reset your programming.

I remember I was in my late 30's when it happend to me, feeling like a child wanting mum to stay with me. hhh I had a hubby, kids of my own and a house.

I know its hard, but it sooo helps if you can except how you are FOR NOW, THIS IS NOT going to be forever hun, it will stop, please be kind to yourself, this is sooo important, its ok being like this, it is, , this helps us move on a little.

Recovery for me was doing the little things, the reading this site inside out and upside down, reading everything I could get my hands on, even books on how our minds work, cbt, relxation cds, just to get my mind away from thinking anxiety 24/7. ANYTHING, even putting a dance cd on and bopping my socks off.

Also. trying sooo dame hard to distract myself from how I felt, finding something that would totaly take my mind off how I felt, in the begining that was dame hard, but you name it, I tried it, form dancing to cds to making myself go out no matter how I felt, NOW that was blinkin hard.

Hun, YOU can start to turn this around, by starting to reasure yourself that there is NO danger, this is a start hun, in time, it does help

Knowledge is power, knowing that a panic attack is your bodys protective mode, it is there to protect you, but when it comes as a fails alarm, ohhhh boy, it frightens the life out of you and its that fear that has us on a roundabout we feel, we can't get off, BUT YOU CAN.

This site is a good place to be, I do hope you get out of this site what I have and that is, feeling better.

YOU TAKE CARE

LOVE JILLXX

[PokerFace]

Thank you all SO much for sharing your stories of what's happend to you too it's made me feel so much better already. :blush: Now I know people out there are having exactly the same problems as me I don't feel as scared (still scary when it all kicks off though) and your advice is gonna help me get through this I feel a lot stronger already and it's only been a day. Amazing what people can do for each other through the internet sometimes :D

[lazyt2010]

hello there i have the very same thing . i think i am going to die when i have a panic attack . ive been to AE so meny times it was like my seconed home there. i was always talking to nhs direct on the phone sying i have chest pains cant breathe . ive had these attacks for about 7 years now and willing and wanting to do somthing about it i was in bed for weeks on end thimking there was somthing worng with me i was with a partner which ended because of it . cant go on social events anymore . theame parks to see a film pubs clubs holidays you name it . i think that what if this happens and this happends and i faint and pass out or go mad . i lost mates though it i know how you feel trust me .. theres not one feeling i havent had . it a pain in the bum but theres a way of getting rid of it so lets beat it together and get our lives back . ive been checking out a lot of stuff on it the past few days and already im felling better i can sleep at nite now knowing i wont die . so if you want a chat pm me and we can see if we have the sme sort of attacks and beat them up ..xxx