Please help me - I'm so scared

[frightenedbutterfly]

I'm so so sorry to be asking for support when I don't contribute much but I really don't know where else to go. If this is in the wrong place mods, I'm sorry!

Don't really know where to start with this.. For my whole life I have been able to sense and hear things that no-one else around me can. It's like over-hearing a conversation in another room most of the time, or if it's directly to me it just sounds like nonsense or another language. Either way, I don't understand what is being said.

As for what I can 'sense', it's like a giant person - like 10ft tall - standing over me, watching. I am pretty much convinced this thing is pushing fear into me and causing the panic and anxiety. That fear... that something bad is GOING to happen, and you're just sitting there powerless, waiting for it to come.

There have been times when I have seen peoples faces change into these horrific expressions, massive black eyes and what I can only describe as a demonic snarl. This thing controls everything around me and makes bad things happen, that's why I get hurt so much when I leave the house or try to do positive things.

Anyway, it's come and gone over the years. But it's back, and it's f**king bad. I've mentioned it to psychiatrists and they have just dismissed it and made me feel even more stupid and paranoid that it's just my imagination. I don't know what to do. I can't go through this again. I live alone.

Has anyone else experienced this? What the hell do I do? I would rather put myself into a coma until this goes away than live through this torture again!!!!!!!

I'm sorry.......

[Typer]

I am amazed by psychiatrists. There are meds that can help stop this happening. Its an electrical over stimulation in the brain or something like that. Insist on having something to help this.

Get an appointment asap

[beskiboo]

That must be really scary for you! Have you tried going to get a second opinion, maybe in someone who specialises in things like that? You can go to the doctor and insist on a referal, they might be able to send you onto someone else. Don't let one bad experience with the psychiatrists not helping you stop you looking for what you need.

Really hope you get this sorted :)

[shorty1969]

Doctors and phsycs are to quick to dissmiss these things ! My doctor insists on telling me its just the way iam and just to deal with it , Well i kinda lost it a bit with him the last time i seen him and told him what i thought of him , and all the other well paid so called therapiststs , .. Any way ! Sorry to hear you are going through a rough patch just now , anxiety and stress can play some very scary tricks on us , I know its not easy , But do what you can to relax and take your mind off whats happening ,, even if it is sleeping (thats my favourite form of relaxation :) hope you feel better soon pal ... your not alone in this battle ....

[valleybear]

First of all, Frightenedbutterfly, There is no need to apologise for posting on here and seeking support...that's what this site is about. Secondly, there is no need to go through all the trauma of bad episodes without professional help. You really must go back and ask for a referral to a Specialist who can and, more importantly, will help you . With all the advances in medicine you can get relief from this frightening episode. Please ask you Dr for the support you need. Hoping that you can do this and that you will feel better when you have talked to someone. Take Care XX

[guitarpants]

I'd say see another psychiatrist. It wouldn't hurt to consult a neurologist either. This can happen for a number of reasons. The good news is that it can be solved with medication. I'm not a doctor so I can't say for sure but this seems like it might be related to over-activity of a portion of your brain. They are sort of like mini non-epileptic seizures.

[hannybun]

Not sure if its the same but claire weekes says when we are anxious thing twist and turn and in one of her books she put about a nervously ill peoples thoughts going outlandish, not harmful just beacuse of inward thinking all the titm and fatigue. Also there is something on here about mind chatter on the symptoms xx

[NoPoet]

Hi, you should certainly ask your doctor to refer you on to a halfway competent psychiatrist, because they can evaluate you and find out why these things are happening and then sort you out on the best course of treatment. What you should do is write down all the things that happen to you and make very sure the doctor and psychiatrist give you time to listen to them.

I haven't heard of anxious or depressed people seeing other peoples' faces distorted before although you can never rule anything out. A psychiatrist is the best type of doctor to see in your situation. This does not mean you're mentally ill or crazy, a psychiatrist is simply a doctor who specialises in this type of thing. An ordinary doctor like your GP is supposed to refer you on to one.

[frightenedbutterfly]

Thank you, everyone, for your replies.

I have seen two psychiatrists about this so far, one of which was a consultant.
The CMHT refuse to see me now so I have no option but to go private, and I really don't have that kind of money!!

I told my Mum it was happening again, and she was really dismissive and unsupportive. She is the only person that even slightly understands this and she's not there this time. I don't know what to do.

My boyfriend just tells me to relax and think about nice things when I get into a panic - really not helpful, obviously. I can't even get him to understand my GAD and panic. He even laughs at me at the moment because my words aren't coming out right.

I really am beyond desperate. It's getting worse and there is nothing I can do about it. Sometimes I wonder if it's my head, because I'm seeing spiders everywhere (biggest phobia) but then again, what if it's this f**king thing getting into my head and throwing this at me because it will terrify me more?

I don't know what to think. Who to trust. What to do with myself... I'm meant to be going away on Tuesday, I don't want to ruin it and end up in a hospital hundreds of miles away from home!!

[beskiboo]

You really need to get refered to a decent psychiatrist! Why not tell your GP exactly what you've told us, even just print it out and hand it to them to read if you're unsure about explaining it, then he should refer you elsewhere. You shouldn't have to go private, you just need to find the right person. There's some decent doctors and that out there, I'm sure!! I really hope that you find the help you need with this, and if you need any support you know where to come :)