Bottling it up again

[Gregor]

I am getting to a point where I feel there is no real light at the end of the tunnel. In fact, i'm beginning to think this 'tunnel' is just a myth!

The problem is i so much want to get better. I'm living here in 'sunny' Wales, my wife is left stranded back in Peru. She can't get a visa unless i am able to financially provide for her (a minimum of £11,000pa, which i don't get). However, i am quite freely able to nip across there, no visa required, but i can't because of my anxiety. How fair are the laws designed to be?

So, that's stressing me out (i haven't seen my wife now for about 10 months!)

I just want to get better, but i don't see it happening anytime soon. I have started to not tell anyone the true extent of my feelings because i think they will think bad of me/become fed up of hearing it all the time. Like, if i'm talking about my future and getting better, i can come across very positive about how things are going and what i'm going to do, but inside i'm screaming out. Don't get me wrong, i do intend to do everything i say to people - i'm not lying about any of that - but i feel it's much further off than i can tell anyone. I want people to know that i'm doing well and things are looking up, but on a daily basis i have so many thoughts of giving up, frustration and everything else.

[Veronica H]

Hi Gregor
Sorry that you are feeling down, but understand why. It must be very frustrating for you. I am glad that you told us here at least how you are really feeling. It is important that you stay out of depression and I would encourage you to be truthful with your GP and your friends and family too.:bighug1: veronicax

[jill]

Hi hun :D:hugs:

My heart goes out to you :hugs: but you know hun :hugs: its NO good bottling things up, we all need someone to talk to. When we bottle things up this leads to other things hun. We can start to feel trapped and things start to feel hopless are minds start to go all negative and that negativatly starts to overide the postive future we have for ourselelves.

Do you not have anyone who you can talk to, to tell how you feel, someone who will not judge who will just sit there and listen. Ohh I know, these kinds of people are hard to find and I count my blessing that I have my sis and mum.

I do understand that when something like panic, anxiety goes on for a long time, we can start to think that people will get fed up hearing it, BUT hun, HAVE YOU ASKED your family or friends about this?

Have you thought about going to a talking therapist, something like listening ear, you can get there phon number off the net or something like that in your eara.

I know how dame hard this is for you hun but please don't dispear, AND NEVER GIVE UP, you are doing your best right now to understand all this, so please don't be to hard on yourself :hugs:

THERE IS light at the end of the tunnel, there is hun, BUT, you have to look blikin hard to find it. I have been a memeber of this great for many years and have seen people come and go, some of them I pm'd and talked to, but they are better now, so don't hear from them anymore, but thats how it should be, them getting on with there own lives.

I myself am panic, high anxiety free because of this great site, but come on hear for other reasons ( will not go into that )

YOU WILL find your answers on how to feel better hun, with alot of hard work, time and the right support and one day, YOU WILL be with your wife. Believe this hunny and your mind will find ways to do it.

YOU TAKE CARE

LOVE JILL XXX