Depression?

[titch007]

Basically latley I feel I have slowly been showing signs of depression. I have got to a point where i am finding it hard to be around people for a long period of time, even family! I will be there with them and then just get the urge to leave! Im more relaxed with my family but latley with both friends and family have just felt the urge to be on my own. I am in alot at the moment as im looking for a job however getting rejected constantly hasnt been helping my situation. I have been crying alot more and noticed i have been wanting to drink more and when i do it brings it out more!! and makes the situation even worse where i come to do silly things. I have started eating more making me feel sluggish and very unnattractive and my moivation is 0 and i would prefer to lay in bed but then get annoyed when i do feeling as if i am wasting time. I lost my dad about 9 years ago now and i think that plays a big part in why i feel down as i was only 10 when he died! i feel as if i havnt dealt with it properly! I also have social issues, i got bullied alot when i was younger and it feels as if im still getting it now. People who i beleive to be really good genuine friends manage to turn and use and manipulate me! These things make me paranoid and destressed to the point where i will sit there and analize the situation and myself and how i act. I always feel like im not good enough for people and do the wrong things, these are probably some of the reason why i have been wanting to hide away and be by myself just so i dont hurt or annoy people. They make me feel as if i have done something wrong, and i dont know wether i have or not? or im just not good enough!

I know I am going on and explaining my life story, but somehow i feel like i need to get this off of my chest and i am really struggling with what to do.

For the past week it has been really bad! I have come back to my mothers house for easter and I told my sister about whats been going etc. She has helped me, i am now taking St Johns Wort, herbal suppliment that is ment to help depression. But this week has been bad. My motivation is out the window i litrally cant be bothered! I have my mothers birthday tomorrow and i cant even be botherde to sort out her birthday present and feel abit anxious about going. I have just wanted to stay in bed all week!

I feel lost, and worried that this is going to last a while. Im only young i hate feeling like this and i feel as if my life is passing me by and im wasting it! Yet this demon inside of me wont let me carry on! ..


Sorry for this short essay just feel lost and scared .. and was wondering if anyone can help ..

many thanks!

[andrew]

hi titch007
it does sound like your really struggling and i wanted to wish you some support. you can get through this and dont stop trying
take care .. andrew

[chrislot]

Check out about pyroluria, it causes intense anxiety and leads to depression. The symptoms will either fit or will seem like a lot of nonsense. This dx changed my life.

[Hel_is_heaven]

Hi Titch,
I know it seems like there's no light at the end of the tunnel, but let me just say that you can get through this. It may not seem like it, but living through panic and depression actually makes you a strong person even if you don't feel it. Honestly, the fact that you stay in the world every day, is a lot more than people will have to be strong for in their whole lives.
Can I say that counselling would really help you to deal with the loss of your dad and any other problems.
Have you been to your doctor at all? They can help refer you to a counsellor if you can't afford to pay for it privately.
I would recommend that you didn't take St. Johns Wort for too long, it has been linked to liver damage over a long period of time. If you do want something to help balance you, the doctor can give you medication to help. I understand if you want to avoid drugs as a lot of people do, but you would be suprised how many people are on antidepressants.
I know what it feels like to have no motivation at all. It is so hard to get out of bed, and you just wish the world would disappear.
Try doing small things at a time, find something to get out of bed for, even if it's to go and sit in the garden or something.
We are all here to support so feel free to let go on the forum.
I am so glad your sister is helping you.
Let us know how you go.
Helen x

[oneofus]

Hi,

I know it sounds odd but reading a good self help book can be fantastically helpful. I read Beating the Blues (£1.67 +p&p second hand) and found it fantastic http://www.amazon.co.uk/Beating-Blues-Approaches-Overcoming-Depression/dp/0195304535/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1270552880&sr=8-1
but there are lots of others out and about, including ones to help your mum help you.

The more people you have helping you the better, both in real life and on-line, this site is an absolute God given gift to humanity. You'll find people with a wonderful sense of humour, even given their problems, as well as people with a humorous sense of the wonderful (photo's of your pet Praying Mantis :ohmy:)

Nice essay BTW so do continue to write

one of us

[titch007]

Thanks guys soo much for your advice! I cant thank you enough for your kind words! And its nice to know that people who dont even know me are showing this kind of support (even after that essay). You are amazing people. I think i should go see a councellor and see if they can help however i am really nervous about that! I think i need to try my change my view and how i look at things, but that little ball of bad energy is very powerful! just need to learn how to get control!

Today i am feeling better (however nervous because each day changes and is different to the one before, so who knows about tomorrow), but its my mothers birthday soo feeling a little postive. Nervous about the meal tho! I shall stop blabbering now! and One of us - your right you can find wonderful people on here!

I hope your all okay and im here if in need to chat aswell! Thank you again! so much!

Best wishes! Leanne

[oneofus]

titch,

Thanks it's nice to get a reply back.

one of us :-)

[titch007]

Thanks! Im abit tipsy!! you know it was my mums birthday meal! very harddd! i was at tears at the table but had to hide it and had to drink to make it go away! which by the way come to £14.95 i think ... and a free glass of champaigne and drinks when i got in... made me feel better haha as i usually say!!! Anyway enough about me, How are you all? please tell me! honeslty im here if needed!


Many thanks

[titch007]

drink isnt goosd but helps donty you think?

[oneofus]

Not with your spelling me thinks, Titch. Hope you had a good time though.

one of us

[guitarpants]

Depression is usually first identified in a primary-care setting and also it is a weakness rather than an illness.People with depression cannot have another mental or medical condition at the same time.Some types of depression run in families, indicating that a biological vulnerability to depression can be inherited

Not true, depression is a true illness. Anxiety almost always comes with depression, and depression with anxiety. Sometimes ocd gets added into the mix also.

[ElizabethJane]

Sorry Kelv it is often a physical illness that can preciptiate depression in the first place. Someone can have major depression as well as a diagnosis of anxiety, personnality disorder or whatever.

[JT69]

Hi Kelvin, you really shouldn't say that depression is a weakness....it is not a weakness but a true illness and if you had suffered you would know that. People with depression often think of themselves as weak but in actual fact to go through and suffer depression and anxiety makes you a stronger person in the end. Sorry to say it but that comment could actually hurt a few people.
Jo