b00mzx
06-04-10, 01:34
Hi, thought i'd stick a post in...
I am going to the doctors tomorrow to tell him I have had a rotten week, full of tears, anger, hate and thought of self harm (haven't done the last for 6 years). I am hoping to be perscribed some anti-d's to help me.....
While I am there, I have decided I am going to show him a printout I did of a "diary" i compiled whenever I felt down. This is several years old now, but most of it is still relevent, so I hope he is going to see what I am trying to tell him...
Basically my problems seem to be that I want attention by any means (or possibly that my inner voice is telling me thats what it must be). I have felt genuine hate towards myself and had seriously considered going for a drive one night, what this would to lead to i don't know. I really struggle to tell my gp my problems and have told him I can down play the severity of it sometimes (to make myself look better), why I do this I have no idea. I can be fine one minute then "BAM" its downhill, i'm crying feeling so tired (emotionally and physically) and unable to get myself out of it. This can last for minutes, hours or days it varies each time.
Also I find I cant really remember things anymore and that I find it hard to concentrate on what people are saying to me. I have also realised that no matter what it is, I am always trying to be good at everything. Whether it be fixing a car, laying flooring, laying turf, relaying a patio, typing quicker than my partner or lifting something heavier than i should do (already hurt my back many times now), I just have to be good and if possible better than the next person, competetive but without realising it if that makes sense.
I feel that although my gp has advised me to see a councellor, I feel that a psychotherapist or a psychologist would be better as my issues appear to be deeper set. Can I ask to be referred to these instead?
Anyway rant over......hope your all well
There are many other things floating around my head but can't seem to concentrate on anything in particular....
I am going to the doctors tomorrow to tell him I have had a rotten week, full of tears, anger, hate and thought of self harm (haven't done the last for 6 years). I am hoping to be perscribed some anti-d's to help me.....
While I am there, I have decided I am going to show him a printout I did of a "diary" i compiled whenever I felt down. This is several years old now, but most of it is still relevent, so I hope he is going to see what I am trying to tell him...
Basically my problems seem to be that I want attention by any means (or possibly that my inner voice is telling me thats what it must be). I have felt genuine hate towards myself and had seriously considered going for a drive one night, what this would to lead to i don't know. I really struggle to tell my gp my problems and have told him I can down play the severity of it sometimes (to make myself look better), why I do this I have no idea. I can be fine one minute then "BAM" its downhill, i'm crying feeling so tired (emotionally and physically) and unable to get myself out of it. This can last for minutes, hours or days it varies each time.
Also I find I cant really remember things anymore and that I find it hard to concentrate on what people are saying to me. I have also realised that no matter what it is, I am always trying to be good at everything. Whether it be fixing a car, laying flooring, laying turf, relaying a patio, typing quicker than my partner or lifting something heavier than i should do (already hurt my back many times now), I just have to be good and if possible better than the next person, competetive but without realising it if that makes sense.
I feel that although my gp has advised me to see a councellor, I feel that a psychotherapist or a psychologist would be better as my issues appear to be deeper set. Can I ask to be referred to these instead?
Anyway rant over......hope your all well
There are many other things floating around my head but can't seem to concentrate on anything in particular....