New to the site, bladder anxiety issues!

[cattia]

Hi everyone,

I am new to this site but not new to Health anxiety. I have suffered for many years, since I was in my late teens from what I remember and I am now 33. I have had several spells where my anxiety has taken a back seat but at the moment it is back with a vengence. I had a baby girl almost four months ago and she is amazing, so I should be happy and enjoying motherhood. However I am preoccupied with this strange sensation that I get right after urinating, it is a discomfort, almost feels like some sort of contracting feeling and it happens right after I finish peeing! I am soooo worried that this could be cancer or MS, I dwell on it all the time even to the point where in my mind I am planning what it would be like for my husband to bring up our daughter on his own, and what I would leave behind for her when I die. I know this sounds crazy but these thoughts are often with me and it is so upsetting. I have had a urine test which came back clear, so I know this isn't a UTI. In the past I have taken prozac for my anxiety and have had really good results with it, but I am breast feeding at the moment so would rather stay off meds for the next few months at least.

It is really like a shadow hanging over me all the time to think that I am not going to be around to see my little girl grow up. In my rational mind I know that this could turn out to be nothing but I can't help thinking this time it really could be it. After all I have had so many 'false alarms' in the past with HA that I think one of these days there really is going to be something wrong with me, just through the law of averages!

I hope that some of you might be able to relate to how it feels to think and live this way. I don't know that anyone can solve this problem as I have been here many times before and there seems to be no way I an convince myself that this is not something serious. I get nervous every time I go to the loo because of this sensation. I am going back to the doctor on Friday but I can't get an appointment with my own doctor so I don't know how I will get on, they usually just look at me as though I am a fruit cake.

[Kelley]

Hey there.
Did you give birth naturally? Reason i ask is because when i had my son, i had a few stitches and for a while after i had a similar sensation. I have suffered UTI's on and off too and if you hadn't had a test already i would have suggested that. Honestly it so has nothing to do with these illnesses you fear.......truly, that would not be the type of symptom related anyway. There are usually always simple reasons for most problems so wouldn't it be more logical to assume it is one of these rather than what your fears tell you???:D

[Typer]

Me too. Its a long time ago but, after having my children I had this sensation for months. I did also get infections a lot afterward.

It might be that when pregnant, your bladder got a bit pushed on and might be sensitive for a while.

[Shanny]

Hi Cattia...welcome :) I'm 33 years old and I have had no children yet, but I am having some bladder issues....leaking mainly, and it's really annoying because my health anxiety causes me to constantly think of it....and half the time it's not happening, but my mind is tricking me into thinking it is. Anxiety has a funny way of making us think the worst. I agree with the above posts, and it is true...you just gave birth, the pressure from that alone can cause somethings to adjust down there. They say that it is very common for woman especially and our age and older to have bladder issues, i.e, a little leaking when you sneeze or cough. I really don't think that you have anything to worry about :) enjoy your baby, and stop dwelling on the negative.....a lot of the time it is our minds playing tricks on us because anxiety sufferers are so hyper aware of every little sensation we have....NOW, if only I can take my own advice :winks:

[cattia]

Thank you ladies, it it reassuring to know that other people have had these issues after giving birth. I worry that it seems to be only a recent thing but I did have an episiotomy and forceps delivery so there was some damage down there! I am glad I found this site, I used to use another forum but it is pretty dead these days, it is nice to see other people here who understand, but obviously not good that we are all struggling with anxiety issues. Tbh I have resigned myself to the fact that I will never fully recover from anxiety, but I am optimistic that I can learn to manage it better so that my remission periods are longer.

[rckclmbr]

I haven't even given birth and I have the same experience sometimes. It's like your muscles / urethra are still trying to expel the urine even when there's none left. It's weird to describe, and I know that I didn't describe it correctly, but I DO know what you're referring to and I suffer from it too. I've had a cystoscopy (where they look in your bladder with a scope) and a test where they see how strong your urine stream is and how your muscles behave, and in my case, the contraction feeling is because instead of RELAXING my pelvic muscles to urinate, I contract them.

It's all very strange, but I assure you that you are (obviously) not alone. :)

[Kelley]

Cattia, if you had forceps as well i would most certainly expect to be experiencing more than just that symptom after only 4 or 5 months!! Your body has been through so much and needs alot of time and rest to recover and repair. I figure rest is a faint memory as well?? I remember thinking how different life would have been if there was more time to relax and chill when i had babies! Never under estimate the power of rest! You'll be feeling great in no time :)

[margaret jones]

Cattia welcome this is a fantastic site you will find so much help and friendship here your urine prob is almost certainly from the birth of your georgeous baby girl , try not to let this HA spoil your time with her . Maybe a visit or phone call to your health visitor would help you understand how you are feeling .Do you have other friends with babies ?? it always helps to talk to them .

Take Care Maggie