muzz
07-04-10, 19:36
Hi There,
I really don't know what to do. or even if I have the correct forum for this post - if anything this is panic/anxiety from depression..
Back in 2007 something horrible happened which really messed me up. I got on with things and didn't think about it.
In November last year I was told by a nurse person that I was very depressed and that I should get counselling and get over to my gp asap - none of this had occured to me. I was completely and utterly numb, I would be permanently on the brink of tears and it would take nothing to push me beyond that point, I was switched off to the world most of the time but it would take the slightest noise to scare the shit out of me, horrible nightmares and itchyness too, couldn't make any decisions or concentrate on anything, I hadn't seen any friends for the best part of a year and I would either be a cowering wreck or so up for a fight that looking at me the wrong way would have me see red.
I started the counselling with a charity and my gp put me onto 20mg citalopram. My gp had me fill in a form about how depressed I was and sent it off somewhere.
My gp eventually referred me to the cmht and I went off for an assessment at the beginning of February. The woman I saw was nice enough but horrible and had me dictating things that she was writing down - it was bad enough talking about things without having to repeat most of it.
The citalopram was where most of my trouble started I think. The 20mg turned me into a zombie for the best part of 4 weeks before I tried to top myself, told my gp about that on my next visit. He said he was sorry about that and upped me to 40mg.
Aside from wanting to top myself, the citalopram has brought on the most unbearable panic. My gp has discussed putting me onto 60mg and presently i've been prescribed diazepam which I don't think does a lot.
The outcome of my last meeting with my counsellor was that I should continue to see him - been seeing him 12 weeks, but that I would benefit from seeing a psychiatrist for cbt as well.
My gp was waiting for a response from the cmht to see what they recommended before putting me onto 60mg but the surgery says they haven't heard anything. I thought that two months was long enough so I called up the cmht today and apparently they referred me back to my gp.
So I am at a loss. I really don't know what to do. I have no life to speak of. My time awake I am stressed out of my mind, from the moment I wake up my stomach goes into a knot and my time asleep is equally disturbed. I am sick of being forced into making deals with my councillor that I don't want to keep.
Muzz
I really don't know what to do. or even if I have the correct forum for this post - if anything this is panic/anxiety from depression..
Back in 2007 something horrible happened which really messed me up. I got on with things and didn't think about it.
In November last year I was told by a nurse person that I was very depressed and that I should get counselling and get over to my gp asap - none of this had occured to me. I was completely and utterly numb, I would be permanently on the brink of tears and it would take nothing to push me beyond that point, I was switched off to the world most of the time but it would take the slightest noise to scare the shit out of me, horrible nightmares and itchyness too, couldn't make any decisions or concentrate on anything, I hadn't seen any friends for the best part of a year and I would either be a cowering wreck or so up for a fight that looking at me the wrong way would have me see red.
I started the counselling with a charity and my gp put me onto 20mg citalopram. My gp had me fill in a form about how depressed I was and sent it off somewhere.
My gp eventually referred me to the cmht and I went off for an assessment at the beginning of February. The woman I saw was nice enough but horrible and had me dictating things that she was writing down - it was bad enough talking about things without having to repeat most of it.
The citalopram was where most of my trouble started I think. The 20mg turned me into a zombie for the best part of 4 weeks before I tried to top myself, told my gp about that on my next visit. He said he was sorry about that and upped me to 40mg.
Aside from wanting to top myself, the citalopram has brought on the most unbearable panic. My gp has discussed putting me onto 60mg and presently i've been prescribed diazepam which I don't think does a lot.
The outcome of my last meeting with my counsellor was that I should continue to see him - been seeing him 12 weeks, but that I would benefit from seeing a psychiatrist for cbt as well.
My gp was waiting for a response from the cmht to see what they recommended before putting me onto 60mg but the surgery says they haven't heard anything. I thought that two months was long enough so I called up the cmht today and apparently they referred me back to my gp.
So I am at a loss. I really don't know what to do. I have no life to speak of. My time awake I am stressed out of my mind, from the moment I wake up my stomach goes into a knot and my time asleep is equally disturbed. I am sick of being forced into making deals with my councillor that I don't want to keep.
Muzz