really worried about myself

[co-okie]

hello. It has been a while since i have been online here and i though i was doing well but, i have realised that i have just been hiding it all within me and telling myself im ok. and tonight i have looked inside myself and realised what i am doing. i need to let it out,
i would talk to my fience but i fear he is abusive, we fight like normal couples would do but ours are constant, and sometimes he does become violent, i blame myself though, i push him to far. He is always checking up on me asking where i am and what im doing and who i am with. He makes me feel really good sometimes but others...like i am a piece of dirt. He is a lovely man when we are not fighting and i find myself pulling away from him, like i dont love him anymore, but the last time i told him this and tried to leave he blocked the door and didnt let me leave he pinned me to the bed and screamed at me and got a bit violent when i tried to get him off me. i am truely sared of him but i dont want to end it, i have recently stopped meeting friends and send most of my time alone.

i think this is why i am not sleeping well and why i am not eating. but i am not sure. i am trying to be a good fience, being nice, and happy but he knows i am sad and scared, and i think he is playing that to his advantage. but i am not sure, maybe i am just being silly, i would like to know what everyone else thinks.

thank you for your time.

co-okie.
xxxxxxxxx

[RichW]

Hi Co-okie

Based on what you're saying, I would suggest that your fiance' is really not all that nice, particularly the violence part. I cannot abide violence towards women and children, it is unaccpetable, period. My suggestion would be to go and stay with family or friends for a while if you can until you start feeling more relaxed and calm. Please do not put up with violence for the sake of somebody who clearly does not care about you.

That's my two cents anyway. I really do wish you the very best of luck.


Rich