co-okie
08-04-10, 03:07
hello. It has been a while since i have been online here and i though i was doing well but, i have realised that i have just been hiding it all within me and telling myself im ok. and tonight i have looked inside myself and realised what i am doing. i need to let it out,
i would talk to my fience but i fear he is abusive, we fight like normal couples would do but ours are constant, and sometimes he does become violent, i blame myself though, i push him to far. He is always checking up on me asking where i am and what im doing and who i am with. He makes me feel really good sometimes but others...like i am a piece of dirt. He is a lovely man when we are not fighting and i find myself pulling away from him, like i dont love him anymore, but the last time i told him this and tried to leave he blocked the door and didnt let me leave he pinned me to the bed and screamed at me and got a bit violent when i tried to get him off me. i am truely sared of him but i dont want to end it, i have recently stopped meeting friends and send most of my time alone.
i think this is why i am not sleeping well and why i am not eating. but i am not sure. i am trying to be a good fience, being nice, and happy but he knows i am sad and scared, and i think he is playing that to his advantage. but i am not sure, maybe i am just being silly, i would like to know what everyone else thinks.
thank you for your time.
co-okie.
xxxxxxxxx
i would talk to my fience but i fear he is abusive, we fight like normal couples would do but ours are constant, and sometimes he does become violent, i blame myself though, i push him to far. He is always checking up on me asking where i am and what im doing and who i am with. He makes me feel really good sometimes but others...like i am a piece of dirt. He is a lovely man when we are not fighting and i find myself pulling away from him, like i dont love him anymore, but the last time i told him this and tried to leave he blocked the door and didnt let me leave he pinned me to the bed and screamed at me and got a bit violent when i tried to get him off me. i am truely sared of him but i dont want to end it, i have recently stopped meeting friends and send most of my time alone.
i think this is why i am not sleeping well and why i am not eating. but i am not sure. i am trying to be a good fience, being nice, and happy but he knows i am sad and scared, and i think he is playing that to his advantage. but i am not sure, maybe i am just being silly, i would like to know what everyone else thinks.
thank you for your time.
co-okie.
xxxxxxxxx