Back after a long time!!! - Medication... Yes or No?

[cathytink3rb3ll]

Hi all,
Probably the mistake that a few poeple make but I started to get a bit better after the end of last year so I've dissapeared from the site. But now I am back and asking for help again. (sorry if you think im cheeky) :shrug:
A quick recap for those that dont know.... I have suffered from Anxiety/Panic attacks and maybe slight depression sinse I was 17 - I am now 22 and in a real lul again. The feelings have never really gone away but most situations have been managable, even though I have been in and out of jobs alot and signed off quite a bit within the 5 years.

Anyways I started a new job in February doing actually something I wanted to do. I am working at a safari park with all the animals, which I love. Well I thought I did - its really manual which I am not used to but I seemed to be getting on ok. I started this job after having 7 months off work because I felt I couldnt cope with my old office job and animals are always what ive wanted to do anyways. I went for 2 months straight not having any problems and I was really enjoying myself. Within this time I split with my boyfriend (mutual decision - for the best we think, just outgrown each other) and I have moved back home with my mum and stepdad - where I havnt been since I was 17 either. Since all this I have had to be signed off work as my panic attacks have not been manageable and I havnt really been able to go out at all.....

Anyway to cut the long story short I have tried medication a few times but probably not long enough to reep the benefits as I never wanted to go on them and they always made me feel bad! However the doc has suggested I go on 50mg of sertraline and I dont feel strong enough to get myself out this lul this time. But I am really worried about taking them as I have always been really anti drugs. I just wanted everyones advice really as its ruining my job (and im only seasonal staff so im worried they will get rid of me) and I have just started a new relationship and im scared its gonna wreck that too..... But my main concern at the moment is taking the medication....

Any help greatly appreciated :)

Thanks all

Cathy xxx :noangel:

[cathytink3rb3ll]

I forgot to add that I thought this was the happiest ive ever been.
New Job I love, got rid of all the crap that I was having in my previous relationship, shouldnt have any money worries as I have moved back home and I have a new boyfriend who I really like - so dont really understand why it has happened again now :mad: But like I said im more worried about taking the medication at the mo xxx

[Humungousfungus]

I'd say since you've managed for quite some time it's probably best to try and ride it out. I'm by no means anti-drug. I'd have easily blown my head off had it not been for medication, but it's how these conditions are handled / treated in the early stages is what makes all the difference.

If I knew what I did way back then, I probably wouldn't have needed medication of any kind. Also, the more independent you can be the better. Doctors in the UK simply aren't trained well enough and have such a heavy work load that people with anxiety disorders get constantly overlooked.

[cathytink3rb3ll]

Thanks for the reply. I think the only reason im considering the meds is that I havnt been this bad since when I was 1st diagnosed 5 years ago. Ive had ups and downs but now its just come back with vengance!

[cathytink3rb3ll]

Started them today and already feel as bad as I 1st did when I took them last year for a few days and couldnt stick it out.... Feel more anxious and worried and my skin feels like its on fire - I have goospimples and feel really hot and sweaty, which makes me feel dizzy and more anxious like im going to have an attack.... everyone says stick it out but its really hard - dont know if im better going cold turkey.... Any help please x

[Brunette]

Hi there,

I am anti-meds and freely admit it. Medication cannot cure anxiety and panic attacks because they are part of the body's natural fight or flight response - during a PA your body is doing exactly what it is supposed to do under threat, it just doesn't know that threat is not real!

Although your life has improved for the better you have had to cope with a lot of change recently and even good change is stressful although we don't necessarily feel it consciously.

Give yourself a few weeks and see how you feel. If it is still really bad then it might be worth talking to your doctor and see if they can refer you for CBT or something like that. Also knowledge is power - finding out as much as you can about what's happening to you during an attack is one of the best things you can do as it will make you realise that you will come to no harm.


What a great job BTW!

Hope you feel better soon.

B

[cathytink3rb3ll]

Thanks Brunette!

I took them and on day 1 I had the worse panic attack I have ever ever had! I literally thought I was on my way out. So as soon as that happened the meds went out the window! It made me realise that mine are bad but not as bad as that one time. Im still pretty freaked out by the incident on Sat and have quiet high anxiety at the mo but im gonna have to push myself to go out and try and sort it by myself as that was terrible!

Watch this space :)

[gypsywomen]

please read my post .. about meds its encoureging

[cathytink3rb3ll]

Thanks I will have a look :) xxx

[W00dsie]

Hey Cathy,
Sry to hear about your anxiety and all that goes with it....
I can relate to how things are going for you.....
I had my first panic attack about 11 years ago.... I never dealt with it and never understood it.... I lived with it for about 2 years in constant panic & fear and they were real bad years when I look back... It has left me with panic/anxiety and depression on and off since... it gets to a stage were it's managable and I always would think I'm going beat this myself.... it always seems to find a way to get a grip again thou.........
Then in march this year when I was the happist I've been in years , POW , a major panic attack... outta the blue.... left me in a state...
I finally decided I wasn't going to beat this myself and I asked for help.... the doc pescribed me lexapro & xanax.... I'm on it nearly 4 weeks.... I do feel a good bit better...
The first two weeks were hell... I took the first week off work.... I couldn't eat, sleep and I had sky high anxeity.... it passed thou & optimisim at beating it returned ...
I argee what brunette above that knowledge is power and the key to unlocking the puzzle .... but I disagree with a general anti-medication outlook.... I think it needs to be looked at a case by case or more personnal basis , especially when depression is thrown in the mix........
I also think CBT is a very good idea but I wouldn't discount meds and the lift they can give you so as you can get yourself in a fit state of mind to treat and ultimely cure panic / anxiety....
Best of luck...
W....

[joannap]

i have to agree with brunette re the anti meds approach - i felt like they were life savers at the time but not now i know so much more re anxiety. even on anti depressants i still had relapses and they don;t make you address stress/learning coping skills. i decided after a BIG relapse recently (am on 10mg citalopram) that i want to get off the merry go round of taking meds and tackle my fear of fear at its source - loosing fear of fear and giving your body the time and space it needs to recover is the true way forward.

it sounds as if the recent changes - although for the best - have stressed you out more than you realised. i'll never forget a gp saying to me - look - you may feel terrible inside but if you are still getting up/working/living a relatively normal life - you are not as bad as you think you are. if you read my posts under general anxiety you will see how even though i have some way to go - i am now coming through a setback that only a few years ago would have had me running to the doctor for a change of medication - it really is your own approach to it that is the cure - just try to accept your body is having a bit of a tantrum but if you step out its way and be kind to yourself - you will heal on your own x

[cathytink3rb3ll]

Thanks all,

I am now on day 3 of trying to beat it by myself, as I think because I was so against meds in my mind it was making me worse taking them as I was bigging it up to be so bad...

Sunday my new bloke took me for a walk along the river and although I had high anxiety I was ok and enjoyed it.
Yesterday I drove to his house - 30 mins away (I always have them when driving) and although a lot anxious I got there without having an attack. Then I stayed for a bbq with two of his friends and stopped the night.

Today I had to drive back home again so this morning Iwoke up really anxious. And on the way home I had to stop a few times and felt the onslaught of an attack but managed to get home without having one. So after not being at work for like a month and not going out sinse then I think I have done well the last 3 days!
Although Im travelling (not driving myself) to wales on friday night for a wedding reception which I am worried about as I havnt been to anything big for ages and I am staying for the weekend! Havnt even been out in restaurants or anything public for ages either, so as u can appreciate im worried about it all...

Thanks
Cathy

xx

[andrew]

Hi Cathy,

Well done, sounds like you're getting on with life. I agree that theres not much point in taking meds if you dont believe they will help.

I'd say just try and prepare yourself as best you can by packing all the stuff you'll need for the weekend. You're most probably gonna feel anxious, just like you've coped the last 3 days, you can cope with the weekend. Good luck, hope you enjoy yourself.

take care .. andrew

[cathytink3rb3ll]

Thanks Andrew - Its always nice to get some support behind you on here :) Makes me feel a bit more laid back about the weekend :) I will report back on how it goes over the next few days :) x

[fairyclairy]

Hi Cathy..
I can totally relate to your situation, i started with panic attacks when i was 11, im now 22 aswell.. I beat them when i was about 15 and had a good couple of years, but since starting my first full time job after uni in October, its all come back and theyre really bad again..
Sooo frustrating! Doctor also wanted to put me on meds, i took the prescription but because my phobia is vomit, i refused to take them!
Mum, dad and my bf all want me to start them this weekend but i really dont think i can... i hate meds, i truly think the only way to beat them is head on! Because i always think that wen u come off the meds.. itl all come back wont it so ul then have to go back on meds, and u could spend your whole life like that....

Im in two minds what to do really, but atleast u gave meds a go!

Well done for getting out etc and hope the wedding reception goes ok, x