Laenax
11-04-10, 02:53
So hi im new to this site i was refferred here by a friend... i feel i need to explain my story before i seek any advice.. i am worried its not like me to act like this at all but here goes: I recently started a new job and after about 3 weeks of being there i was really ill i had flu and a chest infection which quickly developed into chronic bronchitis and asthma. Whilst being off ill i was very worried about the day i would eventually have to return back to work.. which for me is very normal i worry about everything.. and one thought spirals into another and eventually i think about eveyrone around me dying.. (a little over the top you think?.. not at all)! so yeah i was worrying about going back to work then suddenly i was really worrying like part of me was saying 'no dont go back to work somethiing bad is going to happen' now i am pretty in tune with my thoughts and body so i know when something is up however being a new job i picked myself and went into work at the time being on a course of anti biotics and steroids for the bronchitis. Whilst at my desk feeling shaky... then started getting hot.. my heart beat getting faster faster and faster i couldnt see my vission is blurry i cant breathe. all these things at once i had never experienced before... so i abruptly get my team leader.. explain whats happening im crying im in a fit of hysterics. and they agree to send me home. im finally home still shaking and i call to see the doctor immediately. at that point when i see the doctor i am told i have general anxiety disorder... and the fact i have bi polar and adhd also makes it a little blurry on how i should be treated but they put me on a course of diazepam and i should have CBT. nowww i have just finished my tabkets course and i have an appointment to see the dcotor on monday.. and should be returning to work the following monday (19th of april) which i am terrified about.. which seems ridiculous as i am from a performing background and have danced infront of thousands of people but to go to my 9 to 5 office job terifys me. i dont no how to feel or to think..i cant eat anythiing or sleep... i havent spoken to my friends in weeks... i feell like an empty shell like i should be locked away in a cell.. i am losing control. the main stress is i am forced to return to work due to bills and rent.. but i dont feel ready please give me advice!!! thank you